Carefully, I slip on the dress, hoping it still fits how it did when I initially tried it on. Thankfully, it fits the way I remember it fitting. I turn toward my mirror, and immediately, I burst into an embarrassing grin. I feel so good in this gown, it’s unreal. For the first time since opening the invite, I feel somewhat excited to attend the wedding. Jasper texts me, alerting me he’s waiting outside. I gently kiss Truman before stepping out the door to meet my hot date.
As I approach him, I instantly blush upon seeing him in a full-on matte black suit, complete with a green pocket square matching the exact shade of my dress. He put a product in his tousled dark hair, and his eyes currently resemble cloudy skies after rainfall.
“Wow, Jasper, you outdid yourself.” I smile wide at him, biting my lip.
He simply stares at me in response, taking a deep breath. His skylike eyes drop to my thighs and slowly roam upward toward my face, lingering in some places longer than others along the way, ultimately meeting my eyes. “I’m at a loss for words. You’ve quiteliterallymade me speechless.”
I playfully nudge him, shaking my head, to which he grasps my hand. “I mean it, Greene. I don’t care how cheesy this sounds. You take my breath away.”
I unapologetically blush even harder. “Thank you, love.”
We settle into his car, and he immediately holds my thigh on display, claiming me. I hope Jasper never tires of holding my thigh while driving because it has very quickly become one of my favorite things ever, along with Truman’s cuddles and the sky itself.
About an hour into the drive, my body cringes, bracing itself for impact. I know what this means.We’re getting close to the site.I begin to breathe rapidly but don’t want to concern Jasper, so I attempt to regain composure silently—on my own.
Not today. I will not go there today.
Not today. I will not go there today.
Not today. I will not go there today.
Suddenly, a different thought crosses my mind:Today’s the day. You’re going there today.
Then, I realize the voice in my head is right. Iamgoing there today. I’ve mustered the strength and am going there right now, whether I want to or not. My breathing steadies, but my heart is still racing.
“You okay, Greene?” He glances at me briefly before looking back at the road, but my body responds before I can. I instantly urge him to keep both eyes on the road. Visibly concerned, he pulls over onto the shoulder and then looks directly at me.
“What’s going on? I’m here with you. You’re not alone.”
How surreal it feels to hear that. I’ve felt alone for so long that I have forgotten what it's like to lean on others. Right now, I’m trusting him—he deserves to know.
If the last few weeks have proven anything, Jasper Alcott will not sit idly by as I tuck away my emotions. He refuses to let me endure through this alone, becoming an anchor for my restless mind.
“Kai died in a car accident,” my voice trembles as a tear slides down my cheek. “On this exact mountain almost two years ago.Soon, we’ll be passing his memorial site. I—I think I lost myself when I lost him, Jasper. He wasn’t alone in the car… I was with him.”
Panic consumes me; I’ve never talked about the accident aloud to a single soul.
Inhale. Exhale.
Breathe.
“Truthfully, a part of me blames myself for his death. I turned up the music so obnoxiously loud andlet go.As soon as I did, he smiled at me, taking his eyes off the road for just a second. The next thing I knew, we were spinning out of control. I remember screaming—I think I even screamed his name as we spun out. I also remember thinking, ‘This is it. I’m going to die.’ It all happened within a matter of seconds, but I was socertainI’d die. When we stopped spinning, I opened my eyes and gasped for air, amazed I was still breathing. I felt so relieved until I noticed his arm draped over me, unflinching… It was so quiet. And I was alive, but alone… so unmistakably alone. Without hesitating, I earnestly wished we swapped places. I couldn’t bear the thought of living in a world without Kai. He deserved to live more than I do, Jasper.”
I gaze down at my dress, assessing the small puddle of tears seeping into it, darkening its shade of green.
Inhale. Exhale.
Breathe.
“Baby, look at me,” Jasper whispers. I slowly turn toward him, not daring to look into his eyes. He tilts my chin upward, so I have no other choice but to peer into his eyes, gray pools swirling with emotion. “You are not to blame for Kai’s death. If he were here, I feel in my bones that he would want you to know it was not your fault. And I need you to take back that wishright now.”
As I stare into his eyes, I feel a sense of calmness wash over me—almost like magic. Jasper’s eyes flicker behind me for amillisecond before looking back into my eyes. “Do you take back your wish, love?”
Taking back that wish is no small feat. Truthfully, I’ve found myself wishing for this outcome on several occasions over the last couple of years. I couldn’t comprehend how death could conquer someone as bright as Kai so early on in his life, leaving behind a dull storm cloud of a person like myself. For years, I’ve desperately tried to wear a smile on every occasion, careful not to let my gloominess show. But as of recently, rather than avoiding my inner turmoil like the plague, I’ve tried my hardest to embrace my emotions. In doing so, I’ve felt… lighter. Something I didn’t know I could feel in a world without my sun. With all of this in mind, I consider his request deeply, making a choice that will alter the way I view my life.
“I take it back,” I whisper defiantly as tears cascade down my cheeks. “I want tolive.”
“Not only that, Iris.” He gently brushes my tears away, then grasps my face. “Youdeserveto live.”
