“I’m so sorry, love.” He closes his eyes, leaning his head toward mine until our foreheads meet. I follow his lead, closing my eyes and allowing myself to embrace only a fragment of the pain lingering inside my heart. He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Thank you, Jasper. I think about him every single day and miss him like hell, even though it’s been years.” My voice comes out more broken than I expect, to which I scoff, opening my eyes. “I’m a mess.”
“Grief is messy, but that does not make you a mess.” Jasper opens his eyes. “When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here, Greene. I meant what I said the other day—you can hit me with whatever you’ve got. I’ll be waiting.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I tightly wrap my arms around him, pulling him in for a warm hug. I don’t feel ready to give him all the nitty gritty details yet, but knowing he is here for me means more than he will ever know. While holding him, his scent fills my nose—pine and sandalwood. My favorite scent these days. I rise on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, then fall flat on my feet. Before I can pull away, his grip tightens as he leans in, parting his lips to meet mine. We kiss, but it’s different from our last one—it’s more heated. I slip my tongue into his mouth, dancing with his, taking pleasure as we explore each other’s mouths. A groan escapes from him. I push my hips forward, pressing into him. Taking me by the small of my back, he turns me, placing my back against the gazebo’s post. He slides his hands to outline my waist. His lips inch their way down to my neck. I lift my chin, granting him full access to my neck. I can’t help but gasp in pleasure.
“Fuck,”he groans. “You’re so beautiful, Greene.” He leans back, and I see the hunger in his hooded eyes. For just amoment, I’m ready to let go and fully give in. I find myself wantingmore. Labels be damned. Now, it’s my turn. I kiss his neck, heat rising in my chest when suddenly, he pulls away. He looks off to his left, breaking me out of my reverie. I hear quiet footsteps. He steps out of our trance, placing himself in front of me. I follow his gaze and see a man in uniform heading toward the pavilion.
“Don’t want any trouble, folks,” the middle-aged groundskeeper says while holding a flashlight. “But the Grove is closing for the night in about ten minutes, so it’s time to pack up.”
“No problem, sir, thank you,” I hastily respond, heat spreading across my cheeks. Jasper sighs in disbelief.
“I can’t believe they’re curfewing us,” he grumbles, running his fingers through his dark waves.
“I haven’t felt this young and alive in years.” I squeal excitedly, rushing to pack up our things. “Do you take all your hometown dates here?”
“You’d be the first.” He folds the blanket. He hands the basket and wine to me, wrapping his arm around my neck as we venture out into the dark night. “I can’t remember the last time I went on a real date, honestly.”
“I used to date a lot, but I can confidently say I’ve never been on a date quite like this one,” I giggle. His eyes narrow for a millisecond before his energy shifts.
“Yeah, it’s not every day you get busted by an elderly groundskeeper while making out,” he smirks at me.
“Hey, I would not consider him elderly! He doesn’t look a day over 50,” I argue.
“To each their own,” Jasper taunts. “And let’s not forget the time I told you you’d get to feed the ducks fresh bread only not to meet a single duck. This first date couldn’t be more perfect, huh?”
My heart skips a beat. “Firstdate?”
“As long as you're up for another, hypothetically speaking.” We step in front of his car. I tug on his arm, stopping him.
“I think I agree with you,” I whisper, kissing his lips softly. “Our first date couldn’t have beenmoreperfect.” I settle into his car.
“Maybe tonight doesn’t have to end yet…” Jasper drawls as he turns the car on. I glance at him with curious eyes.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Let’s go on a drive.” He casually rests his hand on my upper thigh, barely below the hem of my plaid skirt. We drive around the bend for a few minutes, and then he pulls off onto the side of the road near the forest, shutting the car off. I anxiously bite my lip and climb over the armrest to straddle him, wasting no time. I’ve been down this road before; I know the ins and outs of good old-fashioned car make-outs, but my heart is racing. I gaze into his hooded eyes for a moment before his hand cups my behind, pulling me closer to him, leaving me no choice but to meet his lips.
As he caresses my lower back, I rotate my hips in sync with his, letting my skirt roll up above my waist and losing my breath at the hardness of his cock against me. My lips graze his chiseled jawline down toward his neck. I stroke his neck with my tongue, letting out small gasps as I roll my hips and grind against him.
“Iris,” he rasps while gripping my waist hard. “Do you feel how hard I am for you?” I moan in response as he hardens even further, tightening my legs around his hips. With our bodies pressed against each other like this, my arousal skyrockets, leading me into a state of euphoria. Eventually, we untangle, and I sink back into the seat breathlessly as he drives us home.
As my mind wanders, I reflect on our evening. Tonight, I told Jasper about Kai, and I found consolation rather than dread in talking about him. Jasper is patient beyond words, stubborn, butmore compassionate than I could’ve ever guessed. I attempt to suffocate the persistent butterflies that won’t leave me alone, but yet again, I predictably fail.
I lay my hand on top of his, grasping it in mine, then lean my head against the headrest and realize one more thing about our evening.
The quiet didn’t defeat me tonight.
Twenty-Eight
Iris
Iprance across the stage, smiling brightly from ear to ear. Upon accepting the piece of paper I have worked so ridiculously hard for, I glance out to the audience.
First, I notice my brown-haired father, typing vigorously on his phone. The screen's light shines brightly onto his tan skin. On his right sits my blonde mother who’s currently wearing an unreadable, rather blank expression. To my father’s left, sits the happiest-looking guy in the room—my brother, Kai. He claps without ceasing, whistling, roaring my nickname for the entire auditorium to hear. Watching me accept my diploma, he doesn’t even blink, not daring to miss a second of this. Instead,his grin stretches as wide as my own. He peers to his right for only a second to share his excitement with her. Katherine cheers as loudly as Kai does. I fight back tears as my eyes shift back to Kai. He claps even harder as I walk off the stage.
After throwing my cap in the air and officially saying goodbye to late-night study dates and dreadful group projects, I immediately begin my search. Finding Kai typically isn’t too challenging—he’s almost always the tallest in the room. I turn right and bump right into him, to which he immediately turns our encounter into a bear hug. “You did it, Irie! I’m so proud of you!”
