For the first time since meeting Kai, I finally get it. His contentment is driven by hers. Her happiness means more to him than I can even understand. For that reason, Kai and I are tethered together—differently from how he and Iris are, but still tethered. We both want her to feelfree.
Once I set the sandwiches, grapes, and wine up on the blanket, I pull out a loaf of fresh-baked bread and stand. I reach out for her hand. “Before we begin eating, I say we pay the ducks a visit.”
“Fresh-baked bread for the ducks? This is officially the most wholesome evening I’ve ever had.” Her eyes sparkle as she snags the loaf of bread from my hands and sprints out of the gazebo toward the pond, dragging me along right behind her. As we run together, I catch a quick glimpse of her ass in that short plaid skirt and suddenly feel weak.Damn.
I catch up to her, reaching the water’s edge. Iris begins clicking her tongue. “Here, little ducks.” She glances around. Unfortunately, the ducks aren’t coming out to play—something I stupidly did not take into account.
You can’t let her down, Jasper.
“Here, one sec,” I say, gently taking the loaf from her. I venture into the darker part of the grove, near the stones and evergreens, at the pond’s edge covered in shadows. I’m certain some of the ducks are camped out around here.
“Jasper, what are you doing? It’s way too dark over there, it’s fine. Let’s just throw out some bread along the edge here for the ducks to eat when the sun comes out.” She catches up to me, lightly tugging me back.
“Greene, I’ll be damned if you don’t get to see at least one duck.” I stalk forward, deeper into the dark—alone. I trek down the rough dirt path, looking everywhere I possibly can for alone duck. I’ll settle for even one duck sighting at this point. Hell, a duckling would suffice. Justsomethingto make this date memorable.
“C’mon, man, she won’t be bothered if she doesn’t see a duck. She’s already so happy with everything else,” Kai’s voice disrupts me. I turn to my right to see he’s walking right next to me. “Turn back around.”
“I’m good.” I keep walking, further and further into the dark.
“No, you’re not. I’m serious; it’s not worth it. What you’re doing right now is more triggering than it is helpful.” He halts in front of me, stopping me in my tracks and urging me to turn back around. I gaze over my shoulder to see her standing along the water's edge, her arms folded defeatedly. “Take a deep breath. I’ve seen her go through enough to know when someone isn’t doing okay. Breathe, man. Breathe, then turn back around.”
His hazel eyes pierce mine, but not in his soul-searching way. In a genuine way. Deciding it truly isn’t worth it, I turn back around, determined to bring her smile back. “Sorry, Greene,” I say, stepping behind her and wrapping my arms around her. “I got caught up in the moment, forgetting why we’re really here.”
She glances up at me, taunting me with her twinkling green eyes. “Glad you came to your senses, Jasper. Are you okay?”
“I am now, love.”
We tear the bread into pieces, tossing them onto the ground near the pond. These ducks will be eating fresh-baked bread all day tomorrow. After scattering the pieces, Iris and I walk back to the gazebo through a thin layer of snow, holding hands. We both sit on the blanket across from each other on the wooden floor and dig into the sandwiches and wine, talking about everything from Truman to our college days.
Kai leans on the pavilion for most of the conversation, watching us under the dimly lit lights. Instead of looking at us with concern in his eyes like usual, his eyes fixate on us with asense of…longing. Several moments later, he says, “Hey Jasper, I will take off. Keep her safe tonight, okay? I mean, I’ll be here if prompted, but promise me I can trust you.”
I promise.He walks away, fading into the night, and I’m alone at last. With Greene.My girl.
Twenty-Seven
Iris
As a child, I often envisioned my ideal date taking place in a meadow surrounded by blooming flowers and luminous light. I imagined a boy kissing my hand under the sun, telling me I was pretty. Little did I know, my ideal date as an adult would take place in a grove at night, enveloped by whispering trees and sparkling lights. Instead of kissing my hand under the sun and calling me pretty, he kisses my forehead under the moon and tells me I’mravishing.
Jasper Alcott crossed off an item on my bucket list that didn’t even exist before tonight. A night picnic is just what my clouded heart needs. After finishing a glass of wine and the chickensalad sandwiches he kindly prepared for us, I rise to my feet to lean over the gazebo’s edge, overlooking the dark waters. I gaze up toward the sky, resting my eyes on the moon. The sun used to rule my world until that dreadful day. Now, I feel more comfortable under the moon’s watchful eye than the sun. How fitting it is for our first real date to take place under a night sky full of twinkling stars.
He joins my side, pressing into me. I lean into his touch, continuing to admire the sky and stars and moon and everything in between. “Would you believe me if I told you I used to like mornings?” I whisper, still entranced by the moon itself.
“Nope, you’re bluffing,” he teases. “I mean, you’ve woken up pretty early while at my place this week.”
“Yeah, well, that’s unusual, to be honest. I used to enjoy waking up before the sun rose. Sunrises were my favorite part of the day. I loved greeting the sun.”
“What did you love about them?” My heart pounds. I haven’t told anyone about this. I don’t even know how to say it, but my heart is telling me it’s time.
“The sun has always reminded me of my brother,” I admit quietly, still fixing my gaze on the moon.
“It sounds like you and your brother are close.” Jasper grins, intertwining his fingers with mine over the white wooden railing. “I’ve always wanted a brother or sister. I’m glad you got one of the good ones.”
It’s time. Tell him.
I turn to face him. “He reallywasone of the good ones. He passed away.” Tears prickle my eyes, threatening to cascade down my cheek at any given second.
For a fleeting moment, time stops.I can’t believe I told him.Jasper stares into my eyes. He lets go of my hand, causing my heart to pause. Instead of turning away like my unwelcomethoughts suggest he will, he reaches up to gently brush a tear off my cheek that must have escaped.
