“Hey, do you mind if we stop by my apartment real quick on the way home, please? I just need to grab some more work clothes and check my mail,” she asks while scrolling on her phone.
“Yeah, no problem.” Shortly after, we pull into her apartment’s parking lot. She chooses to check the mail first, then hustles upstairs. Less than a few minutes later, she’s back. I like having Iris in my car. It feels right. As I begin driving back to my place, she sorts through her mail and pauses on one fancy-looking deep red envelope. She opens it and audibly gasps. “Oh my…”
“What? What is it?”
“Um, it’s just a wedding invite,” she says, her eyes scanning the invite.
“Well, when’s the big day? And who is it for? Seems like a big deal to you.”
“It’s on December 2, and she is an old friend—her name is Katherine.”
Suddenly, I see Kai flex his gift yet again in the rearview mirror, teleporting away to who knows where. “Well, what’s the big deal?”
“Oh… I just don’t think I’ll be able to get a date in time, if I’m being honest.” She says sheepishly.That’s it? That’s why she nearly gave me a heart attack while driving nonetheless, with that gasp of hers?
“Well, I’ve been told I’m an exceptional wedding date, in case you were wondering.” I throw her a smirk. It isn't a lie, I tend toenjoy weddings. I glance at her in my peripherals and watch her cheeks grow pinker.She’s so cute.Damnit.
“We’ll see,” she says, glancing out the window, seeming to get lost in the clouds again. As we get closer to home, I find myself selfishly hoping she takes me up on my offer.
Twenty
Kai
Inever expected to find myself here. I didn’t know what to expect after taking my last breath, but man, this wasn’t it. Dying felt like losing and gaining everything all at once. In a single moment, I lost my whole life—everything I worked for, my dreams and ambitions, and my connections with the people I loved most. I felt lost. But at that same moment, the stars found me. As I slowly let the reality of my death sink in, I felt a level of peace I didn’t know was possible. I am one of the lucky ones. It didn’t take me long to accept my fate.
The world looks different from this side. I remember learning something from one of my coworkers—she just so happens to beIrie’s best friend. She taught me that millions of different colors exist in the universe. In contrast, humans can only see a million of them. Well, I learnedveryquickly after dying that the dead can see every color imaginable. I can’t even properly put some of the colors I’ve seen over the last couple of years into words—they’re incomprehensible. Upon opening my eyes in the afterlife, I could see an endless stream of color flowing right before my eyes. Who knows if I’ll ever get used to it? I may see the world in vivid color now, but if my sister’s world is in shades of muted gray, none of that matters to me.
I glance around the empty bleachers and take a deep breath, noting the sound of crickets and birds chirping simultaneously. With it being such a small community, there are hardly any guardians in the Cove, we don’t spend time together as our objectives are clear as day: heal your assignee, then ascend.
Choosing between immediate Ascension and being Irie’s guardian was practically the easiest choice ever. After I awoke in the Middle Realm—I know, not the most creative name for a spiritual waiting room—an otherworldly Archangel adorned with opal wings and icy white long hair greeted me, shaking my hand. Her presence soothed me. After reassuring me that I was okay, she presented me with the choice between being a guardian temporarily or immediately ascending to the Golden Realm—again, not super original, but it wasn’t my call. Guardians can choose whom they want to guard. Before finalizing the choice, they even allow guardians to visit their potential assignee so they can assess whether or not it’s a good fit.
After selecting Irie, they permitted me to see her. I told myself: if she seems okay, I won’t linger. She was always the stronger one of the two of us, so I imagined this would likely be the case. I entered her apartment, recognizing a coolness I hadn’t felt before then. While walking around, darkness enveloped me.I entered her room quietly to check on her, glancing at the date on her calendar above her desk. It had been only a week since my early departure. Upon closer inspection, I saw a neck brace and a cast on her left arm. Seeing her in bandages made my stomach turn, but I would rather her be bandaged and breathing than the alternative. She sat in her bed, wrapped under thick blankets, keeping Truman cradled beneath her right arm—man, I always loved that cat.
She released him and grabbed a small rose gold box from her nightstand—one I instantly recognized.Oh, shit. The jewelry box from Aged Emporium.I may or may not have secretly gone back to the antique shop to purchase the box, intending for it to be Irie’s Christmas present. I hid it in my luggage, sitting in the trunk of my car during the crash. She must have found it after the accident.
As she held the box, she seemed to get lost in it. Her fingertips traced the etched iris engraved on the lid, outlining the delicate design for a couple of minutes. Suddenly, her breathing grew dangerously rapid, and tears welled up in her eyes as she slammed the box down on the bed as hard as she could repeatedly, somehow not managing to break it. Then, I witnessed something I hadn’t seen since we were children. Irie sobbed. She wailed. She shrieked. The tears did not subside—no, they kept plummeting, harder and harder with every breath she took. Suddenly, her bloodshot jade green eyes met my own in an instant, stopping her from crying. For a moment, I thought she could see me.
“Irie, it’s okay, I’m okay, you’re okay,” I said, boring my eyes back into hers, pleading. Instead of responding, though, she wiped her tears away intensely using her sweater’s sleeve. Her eyes, usually sparkling, were dull and hollow. She tucked her hair behind her ear and took a deep breath, allowing a stoic expression to settle upon her.
Aloud, she whispered defiantly, “Not today. I willnotgo there today.”
My heart shattered. That was the moment I knew. Irie needed help. I wouldn’t hesitate to put forever on hold for my little sister. What truly concerned me was the way she halted herself from embracing her full emotions. Denying herself from grief would certainly prolong the pain longer than she could fathom. Before finalizing my decision, the Archangel showed me a glimpse of the Golden Realm, which lies just beyond the Middle Realm. Visiting the Golden Realm is prohibited until Ascension, but you can capture a look at it through the large dome-like window encasing the Middle Realm's Greeting Center.
I gazed upward through the massive curved pane of glass and saw endless golden rays shining across the seemingly infinite sky. Amongst the light, I observed clouds and stars of yellows, pinks, and oranges. Of course, if I wanted to see more of that realm, I would’ve been required to choose Ascension right then. The Golden Realm put the Middle Realm to shame, which was insane, considering the Middle Realm’s rainbows alone blew my mind. I gazed at it in awe, but never even considered passing up the opportunity to be her guardian. What kind of brother would I be to force her to bear it all alone when I could be there for her every step of the way instead?
So, I stayed. I underwent rigorous guardian training, learned the ins and outs, and now I’m here to support her until she no longer needs my help. As I stated before, guardians aren’t permanent fixes for the assigned, so when she is ready to let go, I’ll go. Irie has not allowed herself to cry fully since that cold, dark evening nearly two years ago. Don’t get me wrong, she lets herself tear up sometimes—but not in the way her soul desperately needs her to. Although I hate to admit it, Jasper showing up was a much-needed change to our daily routine.
When I said I never imagined myself here, though, I meanthere—like, literally here. Back at the high school baseball fields. When I was alive, I came here to think when things got too heavy; the habit stuck, even into the afterlife, I guess. Man, I miss coaching. It was my calling in life. As cliche as it sounds, those kids taught me way more than I ever taught them. One shitty thing about being a guardian—the only drawback, really—is I haven’t gained inner peace quite yet. So, in short, my emotions still screw me up on some days. I mean, they’re not nearly as heightened as when I was alive, but they still hit me. Once I ascend the proper way, that will supposedly change, but we’ll see.
Seeing Katherine’s name struck me in a way I didn’t anticipate. Even in my final moments of life, her bright face crossed my mind, but I haven’t seen her since becoming a guardian. Although I’m overjoyed she found someone, a part of me aches, knowing I will never get to be that person. I stare out at the empty field, reminiscing on old memories I share with her. She is the best partner I could’ve ever had. I don’t know how I’ll react to seeing her at her wedding, but I refuse to miss it.
Another perk of Jasper being around is I’ve been able to give my sister more space than I used to, which in turn allows me to spend some time alone, too. Because of my tether to Irie, I can teleport to her instantaneously if something is wrong, but lately, I haven’t felt the pull when we’re apart as often. Sometimes, when I am alone, I visit the mountains and watch the sunrise.
In all sincerity, I feel bad for not telling him the truth about who I am, but I know it will overcomplicate the situation entirely if he knows. He seems honest, to a fault even, so hiding her guardian is already a lot for him to handle. I don’t think he’d be able to handle the full gravity of this situation.
Not to mention, the Archangels would likelyscrew me upif she found out because of me. Guardians are required to remaindiscreet—our assignments are forbidden to know we’re watching over them. It could inhibit their progression significantly. Or something. Who knows. However, I will say that most guardians gounseenthroughout their guardianship, so I’m already in an unfair position.
Is it naive for me to withhold the full truth from him? Maybe. But at the same time, Irie deserves the chance to tell him about her grief herself if she deems him a worthy listener—which is unlikely.
