Prologue
The girl meant to glance outside to see if he had arrived. Instead, she found herself getting lost in the clouds. Strands of fluff floated across the pale midday sky, seeming to drift without a care in the world. As she fell deeper into the trance, her mind wandered.Oh, to be a cloud—simply floating in the sky without worry, stress, or pressure.
Thanks to her unprecedented ability to overthink, Iris Adelaide Greene often got lost in trains of thought. After recognizing her brother’s ‘76 Chevy Camaro horn honkingincessantlyin harmony with its revving engine, she snapped out of it, looking down and locking eye contact with him, rolling her eyes.
On that note, she hurried to her mirror for one last check. She wore leggings and an oversized navy blue university sweatshirt, keeping her hair tied back in a messy bun, allowing wavy brunette wisps to frame her olive-toned face. She lugged her suitcase down the hall, kissed her sweet cat, Truman, goodbye,and stepped outside of her apartment to say hello to the chilly winter air and farewell to the comfort of her home for the next three days. She loathed the winter holidays. Kai met her at the bottom of the stairs and held out his hand to take her luggage.
“No thanks.” Iris continued walking, not pausing to consider his offer for even a second after his honking escapade. Her apartment complex was quiet and full of elderly folks; his honking alone may have caused someone severe distress. She went straight to his project car’s trunk and jimmied her luggage into the only open spot amongst Kai’s coaching gear.
“Someone didn’t eat lunch today,” he teased while trailing her. She opened the door and sank into the red sedan's old front seat then situated herself.
She’d been in this car hundreds of times, and it never ceased to smell different. Kai prided himself on the way his car smelled. He claimed he only rotated scents “once in a blue moon,” but based on the assortment of smells ranging fromPine WoodstoBirthday Cupcakeshe’d wafted just over the last month, she knew he was being modest. He wanted his project car to smell good.
If Iris were to guess, today’s scent was a mix ofpears, pine trees, and fresh snow. He settled into the driver's seat and took off. As much as Iris dreaded seeing her parents during the holidays, she couldn’t wait to spend quality time with her brother. He took center stage in all of her childhood memories.
The commute to their parents’ home was roughly two hours. He always drove, not that Iris minded. No, she believed the term “passenger princess” had to have been coined for her exceptional skills as a passenger. She chose a career opportunity in a small town where nearly everything was within walking distance for a reason–she preferred walking. She didnotmove there just because her brother coached at the high school there;she insisted that was merely a coincidence but a significant plus, nonetheless.
After getting gas and a quick bite, they settled back into the car, bracing themselves for what this weekend would hold.
“I’m feeling the scenic route this time, yeah?” He glanced at her through his peripherals.
“The scenic route is just about the only thing that makes this trip worth it,” she replied almost immediately.
“Oh, don’t sound too excited, Irie.” He winked at her while keeping one eye on the road. She never understood how he could multitask while driving so well. Iris couldn’t even eat french fries while driving straight, let alone look at the person beside her.
“I’m not looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad, but we have to; it’s part of the agreement. Visit them during Christmas or Thanksgiving every year, andsomeonecelebrated Thanksgiving Eve a little too hard this year, resulting in us needing to spend Christmas with them,” he reminded her. Thanksgivings with their parents were usually more bearable. Rather than sitting around the fireplace silently, they got to do one of her favorite things: eatdeliciouscomfort food without restraint.
He wasn’t wrong, though. She decided to host a Friendsgiving with him and their friends on the day before Thanksgiving this year. Iris was not a big drinker; however, she did drink socially occasionally. When his friend, Jake, pulled out the classic red wine, she happily obliged. When done responsibly in the company of loved ones, holiday drinking can be a blast. However, when done in the company of friends who just so happen to be enablers, holiday drinking can be disastrous. Iris learned this the hard way. She was in no shape to visit their parents the following day.
“Okay, guess who didn’t stop me?” She playfully slapped his arm. “I don’t want to talk about Thanksgiving.”
“Aw, is that because you didn’t have a good time orcan’ttalk about it because you forgot it even happened?” He mocked. “You are a responsible, 23-year-old woman who deserves to make your own decisions. I, nor anyone else, have the right to stop you from being the mess you are.”
Her jaw dropped. Then, she punched him in the arm and burst into laughter. “Whatever! If we really want to talk about Thanksgiving, we should discussKatherine. Remember who showed up super late to our dinner? I couldn’t have forgotten that detail even if I tried. Your ridiculously smitten smile is permanently ingrained in my memories.”
He leaned back, allowing his head to hit the headrest as he sighed while running his fingers through his light brown waves. “I am a responsible 27-year-old man who deserves to make my own decisions."
“Kai,” Iris whined. “You’ve gotta give me more than that. Are you guys still talking? Do you think she wants to get back together?” She nudged for more. He didn’t open up about his dating life often, but he didn’t need to. He wore his heart on his sleeve. It wasn't difficult to tell when someone was tugging his heartstrings—he called it her “sixth sense,” but she chalked it up to being an observer. She often enjoyed observing others. People make peculiar choices all the time, and it felt nice seeing living evidence that she wasn’t the only one.
“Katherine was the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. Those years we had together were pure bliss—through the good and bad, we were there for each other. In the end, it hit me. She was ready for something I wasn’t. It’d be wrong for me to keep dating her, knowing I may not ever be able to commit to a lifetime with her, whereas she’d be ready to tie the knot by the next spring,” he paused, contemplating. “The only emotion that equates to love is fear. I guess I chose fear. Even if she wanted me back, I couldn’t do that to her. She deserves someone who will be with herforever without hesitation. I invited her over on Thanksgiving because I knew she didn’t have plans and didn’t want her to be alone. We’re still friends, but yeah, it’s over.”
The only emotion that equates to love is fear.
“When did you become so wise? Don’t you coach baseball or something?” She lightly held his upper arm for a moment. Sometimes, she had a difficult time showcasing her vulnerabilities through words. So, she chose to express her love for him through a soft touch this time.
He shrugged. “Eh, I just listen to motivational podcasts during my workouts sometimes.” Iris giggled, but then she remembered their current destination. Her childhood home in the mountains was a dark place she kept tucked away in her mind. Her only bright memories from that time of her life involved her brother. He did a substantial job of distracting her during the drive, but alas, her anxiety won as it always did. Often, she felt like the underdog running up against her own mind.
Being the golden child in the Greene household wasn’t easy for Kai either. He was held to nearly impossible standards, whereas their parents felt the need to apologize for Iris. Her parents thought she wasshy; that was the first word they used to describe her to anyone and everyone they met. They didn’t like how reserved she was in public seeing as the rest of her family were practically socialites in their small community.
“Oh, I’m sorry my daughter is being rude; our Iris is just shy,” her mom would say to anyone with a pulse. Her parents didn’t know what to do with her. When Iris dozed off and shut down, her mom often snapped at her to “knock her out of her annoying funk.”
Ironically enough, she wasn’t shy. They just weren’t her safe place.
“Hey, Irie, looks like the scenic route has paid off yet again,” Kai interrupted her spiraling thoughts, pointing toward what lay beyond her window.
Iris peered outside, seeing her clouds, except this time, they were melting into the most striking mural of hues. Golden flames etched across the sky, masking pastel pinks and blues. The clouds no longer drifted as they had earlier; instead, they seemed to fade away into the canvas.
She looked over the cliff into the snow-tipped forest trees below, seeing the sun reflecting on the lake's glistening surface. From a distance, the lake appeared composed of a million microscopic crystals, shimmering for the world to see.
