“Do you have any ideas of shit you can do?” Havoc asked.
Actually, I did. “I’m not afraid of the phones. I can call donors or prospective donors. Especially if you have some kind of script to go off. I’m new, and no expert on all the shit the club does, but I know more than the community. I think if more local businesses are made aware of the ways we give back, they’ll be willing to contribute. Especially since the club operates as a 501(c)(3) and everyone’s looking for a worthy tax break these days.”
Link scratched at his beard. “But you’re working with Morse now. Think you can do this around your schedule?”
“On my lunches and weekends. I’d be happy to feel like I’m finally pulling my fuckin’ weight around here.”
“I can appreciate that,” Link said with a nod. Studying me, he added, “We haven’t had much time to talk. Tell me about yourself, Hound. Wasp said you’re from Vegas. You got any family back there?”
Link and I had spoken very little, because I avoided him like the plague. The man was intimidating as hell, and I could hear the question he wasn’t asking all too well. He wanted to know how I’d ended up on the streets. A good, respectable, wounded veteran would have come home to a loving family or maybe a waiting lover. I’d had nobody. “My mom and little sister are in Vegas. I call my sister sometimes, but Mom and I don’t talk.”
“Why not?” Havoc asked.
Now that was complicated. Trying my best to uncomplicate it, I shifted. “You know those people who lie so much they wouldn’t know the truth if it bit ’em on the ass?”
They both nodded.
“She’s one of them. Doesn’t care who her lies hurt as long as she comes out smellin’ like roses.”
“And your dad?” Link asked.
That was the million-dollar question. Looking away, I shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Havoc leaned forward. “You don’t know him?”
My childhood was no cakewalk, and talking about it was the last thing I wanted to do. I’d told people about my past before, and always got the same reaction: pity. Link and Havoc were my brothers now, and I wanted their respect. I wanted them to see me as an equal—as an asset to the club—and hearing my goddamn sob story would accomplish the opposite.
But these two didn’taskquestions; theydemandedanswers. Wasp had warned me that an interrogation was inevitable, but I was hoping it’d somehow pass me by, like a storm that unexpectedly blew over. No such luck. Time to man up and get it over with.
“Can I get some water?” I asked, buying myself time to think about how to wrap my childhood up in as few words as possible.
Havoc stood. “I’ll get it.” He disappeared behind the swinging doors, returning with water bottles for each of us.
Thanking him, I unscrewed the cap and took a long pull. When I set the bottle down on the table, they were both watching me, waiting for me to start. Seeing no way around it, I took a deep breath, and shared what I knew.
“Only dad I’ve ever known is an asshole. I grew up with his last name, and thought I was his blood, even though he treated me like shit. He was good with my little sister, and I never could figure out why he was so different with me. I asked my mom, but she always had some bullshit excuse for him. He seemed to go out of his way to make me feel like I didn’t belong. Like I wasn’t part of the family. Shit between us was… fuckin’ frustrating. As far as I was concerned, he was my dad and I wanted to make him proud, but nothing I ever did was ever good enough. Grades, sports, fishing, I worked at all the shit he cared about but couldn’t please the son-of-a-bitch, no matter how hard I tried. After I was hurt and discharged, I got locked up for buying morphine from an undercover cop to supplement my prescription. The DA prosecuting me finally told me the truth. Dave wasn’t even my real dad. He met my mom when she was pregnant and adopted me when I was born.”
My chest squeezed as a series of memories assaulted me. Dave pushing me off his lap. Dave installing a chain lock on my door to keep me in my room. Mom walking away as I beat on the door, begging to come out and be with the family. Staring at the bleachers, hoping one of them would show up to watch my baseball game, only to be disappointed. Again.
All I’d ever wanted was a family, and it seemed all they ever wanted was me out of theirs.
“Why didn’t your parents tell you the truth?” Havoc asked, interrupting my memories.
Sharing so much information made me feel naked and raw. Wanting to get the fuck out from under their gazes, I glanced at the door, gauging the distance. Morse had to call me back soon. How long could his conversation with Mila take?
My leg was falling asleep, so I shifted, wincing at the pain in my sciatica. “Mom claims my psychologist told her not to. That it would only fuck me up more.” I chuckled, but it came out sounding angry and cynical. Fitting, since that’s exactly how I felt about her excuses. “But I don’t know if that’s true. I can’t trust a word that comes out her mouth. There was so much shit she lied about.”
Link let out a breath. “Did you ever find your birth father?”
What the fuck was this? Twenty questions? Hadn’t they gotten enough of my goddamn history? Did they want blood? To see me breakdown like some of those guys in the narcotics anonymous meetings? Not gonna happen. I shook my head and steeled my nerves. “The Nevada court adoption registry has no record of him and Mom sure as shit won’t tell me. Look, I’m not trying to sound like some little woe-is-me bitch. Lots of people have had it rougher than me, and if you two didn’t corner me and ask, I wouldn’t have said shit about it.”
A smile played on Link’s lips. “Trust me, brother, you’d know if we cornered you. This isn’t that. We want to know your past so we can help you create a better future, but it’s clear you’re not used to people being concerned enough to ask questions.”
Well, if that didn’t sound like some after school bullshit…. “Thanks. I should probably get back to work. Are we done here?”
Link held up his hands, still looking mildly amused. “I’m done.”
Havoc watched me in that quiet, intense way of his. Holding my gaze, he said, “You want some advice, Hound?”
