Smart as well as beautiful, just like her daughter. I wanted to put Mrs. Johnson at ease but refused to lie to her. “But we don’t allow women to join the club. We’ll help her, but she won’t be a member.”
“Primitive. Won’t be the first boys’ club she’s broken into, but I don’t know how well these Dead Presidents can help her if they exclude her from membership. She worked to earn the respect of everyone at Cannon, but she’s…. I don’t know if she has the strength or the will to win over anyone right now.”
The picture Mrs. Johnson was painting of Monica had me worried. “How bad is she?”
Mrs. Johnson wrapped her hands around her mug like she needed the warmth. “I don’t even recognize her. I keep telling myself she’ll snap out of it, but I don’t think she will, and that terrifies me.” She took a deep breath and looked away. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You’re not even close to her, are you?”
“I haven’t seen or talked to her in months, but I understand what you’re saying. There’s something very special about Monica. She’s not like anyone I’ve ever met.” Wanting to reassure Mrs. Johnson I washed down another bite and made a decision. “I don’t know if the club can help her, but I know I can.” And I wanted to. If I could help restore even a smidgen of what made her glow like a goddamn homing beacon, it was not only my duty, but also my privilege.
Her head whipped back around to study me, dark eyes searching my face. “How?”
Some things were better shown than said. Bending over, I pulled the bottom of my jeans up and let her get a good look at my prosthetic leg. I didn’t show it to many people, but knew she needed to see it more than I needed to keep it concealed.
Rather than pity, hope filled Mrs. Johnson’s eyes. “You can relate to her.”
“Yes ma’am. I know what she’s going through, and I can help her.Ifshe’ll let me.”
Mrs. Johnson chuckled. “Oh, she won’t. That girl is a fortress and she doesn’t let anyone in. She loves Naomi like a sister and didn’t even tell her she was injured. If you want to help my daughter, you’re going to have to find a crack in her foundation and wiggle your way through before she realizes what you’ve done. Are you tenacious, Stocks?”
Finishing off my coffee, I considered her question. After leaving the service, I’d often felt alone and worthless. Like many others, I’d thought about taking my own life, but something always stopped me. No matter how hard living got, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I still had shit to do. I didn’t know if that meant I was tenacious or just plain stubborn, but I nodded. “I’m still here.”
The way Mrs. Johnson looked at me made me wonder if she could read my thoughts. Patting my back, she said, “And I’m sure glad you are. Come on. We need to make sure those two are both still breathing.”
She led me out of the kitchen, and I could hear Naomi and Monica as soon as we hit the hallway.
“Because there’s nothing you can do about it,” Monica said.
“So, you’re locking me out? Bullshit. You don’t get to do that. Remember when you busted down my door and made me deal with my pregnancy dilemma? Consider your door broken down, because I’m returning the favor whether you like it or not.”
“Pregnancy is a tad different than this, Nae. You could have stayed on as a pilot. I didn’t even get that choice.”
“And I could have been here as your support system, butyoudidn’t givemethat option.”
Mrs. Johnson stopped me before we reached the doorway, keeping us out of sight.
“You have a family, responsibilities. I knew you’d drop everything and come straight to see me and for what?”
“Because that’s what friends do. Why didn’t you tell me, Monie? Stop feeding me these bullshit excuses and tell me for real.”
“Because you can’t fix it, and you won’t understand. You loved flying, but it wasn’t your life like it was mine. There is literally nothing else I want to do.”
Eavesdropping felt wrong. Knowing I should leave, I opened my mouth to tell Mrs. Johnson I’d wait outside. She held a finger to her lips, shushing me. “If you really want to help her, you need to hear this. I know my daughter. She’ll never admit any of it to your face,” she whispered. “This is the only way to learn where the cracks in her foundation are.”
“How do you know?” Naomi asked Monica. “You’ve never even looked into anything else.”
Monica groaned. “You want to know the real reason I didn’t call you? This is it. I don’t need or want your pep talks. Everything I’ve worked for is gone and nothing’s going to change that. Nothing will ever be okay again, and I’m so fucking sick of people trying to reassure me that it will be.” Her voice cracked, leaking emotion.
Silence.
Seconds stretched.
Someone sobbed.
“Come here.” Naomi’s tone had softened.
“No. I’m barely holding onto my shit right now and if you hug me—”
“Get your ass over here now.”
