My uncle suffered from PTSD. I’d never known that before.
“She was mad as a shaken hornet’s nest, screamin’ about how I’d bruised her leg. I didn’t care about her leg, I was tryin’ to protect her life. By the time I came to, she was gone. I went to her parents’ house to try to explain, but her dad wouldn’t let me in. Said I was too goddamn loco for his daughter. He was right, and I didn’t want to take a chance at hurting her or anyone else. I tell you what, Tonio, if you find a girl willing enough to put up with your crazy ass, you marry her. A man shouldn’t have to live alone.”
Uncle Jaime had needed a club like the Dead Presidents. They would have made sure he got the help he needed, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have been alone. He slept most of the trip. I was trying not to read too much into his fatigue, but my uncle had been sleeping twice as much as he was awake the entire time I was in Portland. At first, I wrote it off to recovery from his surgery, but the more research I did on his condition, the more worried I became.
We stopped in front of my parents’ house, and I woke him up and helped him into the house. Then I grabbed the boxes of clothes and personal effects he wanted to keep on him before taking the rest of his belongings to a storage unit. Rabbit and Stocks followed me, and it took us no time to get everything unloaded and stored.
“You gonna head up to the campsite with us?” Rabbit asked as we locked up the unit.
I’d seen limited combat in the service, and I didn’t have a problem with fireworks. I’d also been thinking about a certain bespectacled beauty since before we hit the road, and I was anxious to see her again. Link said Jessica was staying behind, which would give me time to find her and make shit right between us. Dealing with my uncle’s condition had taken a lot out of me, and I wanted to enjoy more of that light-hearted banter we’d shared before I left. Maybe even find a little solace between her thighs.
“I think I’m gonna stay behind this year. I’ve been gone too long as it is. Thank you both for driving down to help me out.”
Rabbit clapped me on the shoulder. “That’s what we’re here for, brother.” He headed for his bike with Stocks trailing behind him. “Hold the fort down while we’re gone, yeah?”
With any luck, Jessica and I would be tearing the fort apart, but I nodded and waved him off. Then I returned the U-Haul truck and headed back to the fire station to find the girl I’d been missing since I left.
***
Jessica
As expected, my parents invited me over for a barbecue and fireworks. My older sister, her husband, and their four-month-old daughter would be there, and my dad didn’t understand why I couldn’t stay with them tonight and take tomorrow off.
“You never take vacation time, Jess. I admire your work ethic, but you know what they say about too much work and not enough play…” Dad’s phone calls were never complete without at least one cliché pearl of wisdom. “Jasmine is adorable and she’s making all these cute little noises that make your mom lose her mind. You should come spend time with the family and see your niece. She won’t be little for long, you know. I still can’t believe how quickly you and Tina grew up.”
My shoulders tensed. Mom had spent at least twenty minutes rambling about how adorable her grandbaby was before handing the phone to Dad so he could “talk some sense into me” about the Fourth. I got it. My sister was amazing because she’d snagged herself a good man and popped out a cute baby. I, on the other hand, had zero men or babies, which dropped my status down to just above primordial goo. Sure, I had a social media marketing career, but they had no idea what that meant. It didn’t produce them grandbabies or give them bragging rights, so they didn’t seem to care.
“I know. I get all the pictures Tina sends.” All hundred or so a week. And videos. Don’t forget the videos. Jasminewasadorable and I couldn’t blame my family one bit for revolving around her, but I didn’t want to spend the day fielding questions about when I planned to get married and settle down. I’d been beat up enough during Father’s Day and was still too bruised to get back in that ring. “But I’m working on a project for one of my new clients. Besides, I took most of a day off last week,” I replied.
“What’d you do?”
Crap.
I snapped my big mouth shut and shook my head at myself. I hadn’t meant to say anything. My family didn’t know about the whole shooting incident at my apartment because they already worried enough about me living in downtown Seattle. I didn’t want to give them ulcers or have them harp on me to move back in with them. Besides, everything had been handled. Nate could never threaten me or Carly again. I was safe. Telling them now would serve no purpose whatsoever. Still, I felt guilty as my brain struggled to find an acceptable answer that wouldn’t be a complete lie.
“I… uh… Met a guy and had dinner with some friends.”Met a guy?What the heck was wrong with me? Okay, it was true, but arguable. Still, I plunged ahead. “Oh, and they’re doing some repairs on my apartment, so… uh…”
“You met a guy?”
Why had I even said that? I hadn’t met a guy; I’d hooked up with a man who still hadn’t returned my text. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew why I’d mentioned Spade. I felt undervalued because of my single and childless status and wanted to prove I could get a guy, too. At twenty-five years old, I was still competing with my big sister, even going as far as fabricating a relationship to prove my worth. Awesome.
I need therapy.
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not serious or anything, but we’re um… We’re friends.” That was a bald-faced lie, and I couldn’t believe it tumbled so freely out of my mouth. Friends? Since when? Sure, we’d had some friendly banter going and he saved my life and bullied my landlord into fixing my apartment, butfriends? I knew more about his penis than I did about his life.
And I needed to stop thinking about Spade’s penis while I was on the phone with my dad. Seriously, my brain needed to be washed out with soap. Maybe even bleach.
“Tell me about this guy. Who is he? How did you meet him? Will we be meeting him soon?”
Crap!
More guilt washed over me, and I knew I had to get off the phone before I confessed everything. Deciding to go for broke, I threw one more lie into the universe. “Sorry to cut this short, but I just realized I’m running late to meet up with him. I love you, Dad. I’ll talk to you later.”
Before he could protest, I hung up, threw myself back on my bed, and stared at the ceiling.
Stupid, Jess. Now you’re lying to your parents. What are you, five?
Disgusted with myself, I got up and looked around. Since most everyone had headed up to the campsite, the fire station was quiet. I technically had the day off, but I’d been working all morning and was finally caught up on all my jobs. Having nothing to occupy my brain was dangerous, so I decided to head to my apartment. I wasn’t planning to move back in yet, so I technically wasn’t going back on my word to Carly to wait for her return, but I wanted to do laundry and change out my clothes. I couldn’t wear the same exact outfits next week. Maybe I’d even inspect the repairs and see if I could handle being back in the space.
