“That’s awful.”
“We were lucky.” She pulled down a plate, setting it in front of me. “That man was my everything, and I loved him with my whole heart. Most people never get to experience the kind of happiness we shared.”
It was so tragic. “Yeah, but—”
“We had a once-in-a-lifetime love. I know I won’t get that lucky again, which is why I’m here. Why I chose this lifestyle. I love sex, Jessica. I’ll never love anyone like I loved Paul, but that doesn’t mean I want to give up fuckin’. I tried vibrators and clit stimulators and shit, but they’re just not the same. I even checked out one of those dating apps and went to some speed dating event, but I don’t want to date. No relationship will ever come close to what I had with Paul, and I know myself. I’ll spend the whole time comparing any man to him, and none of them will measure up.”
She’d made up her mind, and didn’t even want to try.
“Besides, most of the men lookin’ for a casual hook up are shady as fuck, and I don’t want to be raped or murdered or someone’s side piece. I’m not a goddamn homewrecker. The Dead Presidents are good guys who respect women and I’m safe here.” Her gaze drifted toward the swinging doors and warmth flooded her expression. “They welcomed me with open arms—and open zippers, I might add—and I enjoy taking care of them. Here, I can have all the sex I want without fear of death, dismemberment, or heartbreak.”
Everything she said made sense, in a sad, depressing, hopeless sort of way. I couldn’t help but ache for what she’d lost. I thought of my parents who were perfect together. If something happened to my dad, I didn’t think my mom would become a club whore or anything, but she probably wouldn’t ever recover, either.
“You can wipe that pity right off your face,” Shari said, drawing me out of my thoughts.
I dropped my gaze. “Sorry. My heart’s just a little broken for you, and my face usually tattles on my emotions. I was unfortunately born without whatever inner witchcraft or voodoo it requires to fake my feelings.” Which, now that I thought about it, probably had a lot to do with why I hadn’t been promoted at work. I needed to work on guarding my reactions.
“Your concern is sweet, but I have no regrets. I love my life,” she assured me, removing the cover from the warmer on the counter. “You like eggs and sausage, right?”
At my nod, she filled my plate while I poured myself another cup of coffee. I followed her back into the dining room as Flint, the manager of the Copper Penny, sat beside Link.
“Spade won’t be in this week,” Link told Flint, making my ears perk up.
“Everything okay?” Flint asked.
Link shrugged. “Seems to be. He called late last night and sounded fine. Said he’d explain everything when he calls in later today.”
Flint nodded. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll talk to Stocks, see if he can fill in again.”
An unexpected stab of pain sliced through my chest. Spade wasn’t in a ditch somewhere. Something had come up and he’d be gone for a week. An annoying little voice in the back of my head pointed out that I’d be gone before he came back. I didn’t want to take his absence personally, but it felt a lot like Spade had blown me off and was now avoiding me. Hoping I was wrong, I pulled my phone out of my purse and checked for a response from him. Still nothing.
Of course, Spade lived here, surrounded by sexy, experienced women like Shari. What would he want with me? I suddenly felt like an idiot for believing he’d come back last night.
Flint homed in on the plate in my hand before smiling at Shari. “Ah. You made breakfast again. I swear, woman, you’re a fuckin’ angel. Don’t know what we’d do around here without you.”
“It’s nice to have someone to cook for,” she said to me as we sat. “Especially since they all appreciate it. And ‘fuckin’ angel’ is accurate. When my time on this earth is up, I want that on my tombstone.”
‘Stood Up’ should probably be on mine. Ugh. I hated the way my thoughts kept spiraling, but I was powerless to stop them. I thought we’d shared a connection, and I felt so stupid for misreading the situation. My stomach felt like it had been tied in knots, but I knew I needed to eat something, so I forced down a bite.
“You can’t die yet, babe. We still got a lot of use for you. And hell yeah, we appreciate you.” Flint turned his smile on me as he stood. “I was skin and bones before Shari here started cooking for us.” He circled the table and kissed the top of her head before grabbing at his barely noticeable belly. “Now look at this thing. She gave the ladies something to grab onto.”
“You were too thin; now you’re healthy. Besides, I like having something to grab onto when I’m riding you.” Her hand snaked up his thigh before palming the bulge between his legs.
Shocked to see such an openly sexual act, I returned my gaze to my plate, trying not to watch them out of my peripheral.
“After breakfast. Your lips. My cock,” Flint said.
“Better eat fast, sugar. I gotta leave for work in a half hour.”
He considered her for a moment before throwing his hands up. “Fuck it, I can eat later.”
Everyone else watched and cheered as Flint grabbed Shari by the waist. He hoisted her into the air, and she wrapped her legs around him, planting her big fake breasts right in his face. He motorboated her exposed cleavage and she squealed and laughed, sounding young and carefree. He squeezed her ass and he carried her out of the room while the guys seated around the table continued eating like nothing unusual had happened.
Apparently, this was the norm around here.
Slightly uncomfortable, and embarrassingly warm between my legs, I hurried and ate my breakfast while avoiding eye contact and trying to figure this place out. Spade had given me an incredible orgasm before he disappeared. Shari was a club whore who seemed perfectly happy with her status. The bikers shared her and didn’t mind watching her groping one of them. I couldn’t help but wonder how many times Spade had slept with her.
“I fuck ’em, but I sure as hell don’t sleep in their beds.”
