My mind drifted back to my apartment. Memories of Nate brought back the feeling of having his gun pressed into my side. I could almost smell his sour breath as fear crept in.
He’s dead. He can’t hurt me.
The reminder did nothing to reassure me. Instead, images of Nate bleeding out attacked my mind. He died on my bedroom floor. How could I ever sleep in that room again? I’d like to move, but moving was expensive, and I had a lease that kept my rent controlled.
But a man died in my room.
I couldn’t stand to think about what had happened. It felt like a wound I’d have to tend to sooner or later, but if I took the bandage off now, I’d bleed out. Shaking the dark thoughts from my mind, I tried to focus on Spade. Wondering what sort of supplies he was picking up, I ran down the hall to the women’s bathroom to shower and freshen up my makeup.
When I returned, I took another look around my room, wishing for candles or mood music or something to set the tone. No luck. I’d have to be sexy enough to make up for it. I slipped into a sheer black nightgown that came barely past my butt and twirled around. I needed a mirror to see how I looked, but didn’t want to go back to the bathroom and chance running into someone.
With nothing left to do, I sat on the bed to try it out. It was comfortable, so I bounced, trying to imagine the kind of workout it was about to get. Knowing Spade would arrive soon, I tried to plan out my pose. Would I sit on the edge, thrusting my breasts out provocatively? I tried it, but the pose felt so unnatural it made me laugh. Maybe lie on my side with my nightgown creeping up to reveal my hip? Was that cellulite? The overhead light was awful, exposing everything in glaring detail when I preferred muted sexiness. I would have turned it off, but I didn’t want him to think I’d fallen asleep. I removed my glasses, and then remembered he liked them and immediately put them back on.
Still no Spade.
Wondering if he’d stopped by while I was in the shower, I put my coat back on and tiptoed across the hall to knock on his door. No answer. I tried the doorknob, but it was locked and there were no sounds coming from within.
I went back to my room, pulled out my cell phone, and opened his contact information, wondering if I should call him. Maybe something had happened, and he needed help? Bikes were dangerous. What if someone had run him off the road and he was lying in a ditch somewhere? My thumb hovered over the dial button, but I chickened out. What would I say?
Where are you?
I’m all hot and bothered and waiting…
Anything I typed would make me sound desperate, and I refused to go there. I was a strong, independent woman just trying to be more open and free with my sexuality.
Maybe he changed his mind?
The thought made me sad and a little self-conscious, so I pushed it away, plugged my phone into my charger, and selected a book from my stash. Spade might not be coming back, but at least my book boyfriends wouldn’t let me down.
Jessica
MY MORNING ALARM woke me. I opened my eyes to find the overhead light still on and morning light streaming in the window. A book lay open beside me on the bed. The faint smell of fried food drew my attention to the plate I’d brought up for Spade. Still positioned on top of the dresser, it hadn’t been touched.
Unfortunately, neither had I.
My brain scrambled to remember what all had happened yesterday. I still wasn’t ready to think about the shooting, so I grazed over those memories to focus on everything that came after. The police station, the ride on the back of Spade’s bike, him flirting with me in my apartment, a toe-curling orgasm, hot, passionate kisses and promises of more…
And then nothing.
He didn’t show.
Spade didn’t seem like the type to stand a girl up, so I grabbed my phone off the charger and pulled up his number. After composing at least twenty messages, I finally settled on one and hit send.
Me: This is Jessica. Just wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay.
I stared at the message, hoping it sounded concerned and not desperate or upset. Keeping one eye on my phone, I removed the sexy black nightie I’d worn for him and stuffed it into the back of a dresser drawer. What had I been thinking? Shaking myself, I dressed and got ready for work. There was still no response from Spade as I headed downstairs and made my way into the dining room in search of caffeine.
The heavenly scent of coffee and sausage greeted me first, followed immediately by the club president. Link was sitting at the table, talking to a few of the guys I’d met last night, and a couple more I didn’t recognize. “Mornin’, Jessica,” he said with a nod, his gaze dropping to the plate of last night’s leftovers in my hand. “You can just put that in the kitchen. There’s all kinds of shit in there for breakfast. Shari cooked up some eggs and sausage and put them in the warmer on the counter. The pantry’s stocked with protein bars and drinks, that kind of bullshit. It all tastes like chalk to me, but a couple of the brothers are on health kicks.”
“Buddha’s fat ass has to watch his blood pressure,” one of the bikers said.
“Just tryin’ to get into shape for your mom, Rabbit,” Buddha replied, patting his round belly.
Rabbit’s eyes narrowed. “Come near my mom, and I’ll bust your head open.”
“Aw, you sound just like her when you talk like that.”
The guys all laughed.
