She laughed. “You can’t even say balls, can you?”
I was trying to be professional, but she made me sound like a prude. “Yes.” I lowered my voice as my face heated. “Balls.”
She only laughed harder. “Ah, Jess. You’re too good for this office. If you really wanted that promotion, you should have dropped your pants like Chad did.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, stunned that she would go there.
She scooted closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I know you don’t want to hear this, and I’ll probably regret telling you, but Don and Chad are bumpin’ uglies.”
Certain I misunderstood, I snorted. “As in having sex?”
She nodded wildly. “Yes. They have been for a while now. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason the big boss keeps him around.”
The accusation was too scandalous to be real. Wondering if she was just trying to make me feel better, I stared up at her. “Don’s married. To a woman.”
“It’s sweet that you assume marriage guarantees monogamy, but not super realistic. Trust me, Jess, they’re knockin’ boots. Everyone knows it. Hell, I heard the two of them going at it yesterday.”
Now she had my full attention as well as my disbelief. “Youheardthem? At work?” Lowering my voice, I added, “Having… sex?”
“Not during work hours, but after. Forgot my purse last night and dipped back in to grab it. A light was on in Don’s office, so I was going to stop in and say hi—maybe kiss a little ass because I’m not gonna lie, I could use a raise—but the grunting coming from the other side of that door made it clear your boy Chad was already working on his promotion.”
I refused to believe it. “How do you know it was Chad?”
She leveled a stare at me. “As if anyone else in the world sounds like that little weasel. I’d know his high pitched, nasally voice anywhere.”
She had a point.
“Maybe Chad was giving Don a massage?” I was grasping at straws, but I needed this to be false. I couldn’t work for a dirty cheater. Besides, Don was smarter than to have an affair with a subordinate. He had to be. “Don wouldn’t risk a sexual harassment case for a lay. Sex is not worth all that.”
She pulled back like I’d slapped her. “Okay, clearly you’ve never had a mind-blowing orgasm, but trust me, good sex is worth everything. Men have waged war for it. Risking a career… it’s stupid, but it happens. You’re sweet, Jess. Always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and expecting them to be upstanding citizens. Therewasmassaging going on in Don’s office, believe that, but not the kind you’re thinking of. I know the sounds of two people doing the nasty. And those two arefilthy.”
My stomach roiled at the image she painted. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
“You? I’m the one who heard them. I can never un-hear that. Never. Trust me. I tried to drink myself into a coma last night to forget it.”
Getting beat out for a promotion was painful enough on its own. Knowing I’d gotten passed over because my coworker was screwing the boss added salt to the wound. Don had been a good boss and mentor, and I’d sort of looked up to him over the years. Knowing he was a dirty cheater felt like a kick in the stomach.
“I really am gonna be sick,” I muttered.
“I don’t blame you one bit. Maybe you should take an early lunch and get yourself together.”
What had previously sounded like fodder for my coworkers to think I was weak and emotional was now a necessity. I’d never needed a break so badly in my life. “I think I will.” Closing my laptop, I stood and grabbed my purse.
“Hey, do what you gotta do.” LaTisha’s eyes filled with compassion as she stepped aside and waved me by.
Blinking back tears, I practically sprinted to the elevator. As I climbed into my car and drove to my apartment, my emotions flew through the gambit: shock, disbelief, realization, acceptance, hurt. By the time I parked and stepped into the elevator, I’d morphed into a ball of anger and dissolved into incoherent mutterings and wild hand gestures.
“How dare he?” I asked the empty space as the elevator doors closed behind me. We trusted Don to be an honorable boss and lead us with integrity, not his penis. And as for Chad… “Don’t even get me started on that jerkwad. Too safe?” My market research was thorough, and my focus groups were on point. “That doesn’t make me too safe,Chad, that makes me a responsible advertising director,” I ranted, wishing I could turn back time by one hour. I’d do things differently. I’d fight for the promotion I deserved rather than sitting on my butt and gaping like a fish out of water as Don shattered my faith in humanity.
Okay, that was a little melodramatic, but these were theatrical times. My boss was cheating on his wife with my coworker. My male coworker. If that didn’t sound like a movie plot, I didn’t know what did. And the fact that I’d lost a promotion over it…
“Well, pardon me if I don’t take it up the ass,Chad!”
That was a good one. I couldn’t wait to share it with my roommate, Carly. “Why is this elevator moving so slowly? And you know what else? Who uses neon lettering for a doctor’s office ad? It’s not a freaking nightclub,Chad,” I spat as the elevator stopped. I was so angry that if he was standing in front of me at that moment, I would have really let him have it.
Probably.
The elevator doors opened, letting me out on the third floor of my apartment building and putting an end to my one-sided argument. Desperate to start it up again—and this time, to a sympathetic audience—I marched straight to my apartment and threw open the door. “Carly?” I shouted.
