Watching me as she took another sip from her bottle. “Tell me about yourself. What’s your story?”
“My story?”
“Yeah, your story. You’re here when Link needs you to do shit, but you never stick around for the parties. You don’t drink, none of the club whores have touched you, and nobody seems to know what you do for a living or where you live. You’re an anomaly.”
Shit.Naomi had been looking into me. “I didn’t realize you were interested,” I replied, playing off her attention with a smirk. “I’m flattered, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Eagle would kick my ass.”
She shook her head, but the corners of her lips twitched as the club princess fought off a smile. “Yes, he would, but trust me, that man keeps me more than happy. I’m not looking to stray, Tap. I’m watching my brother’s back.”
“Oh, come on now. We both know Link can take care of himself.”
“Give me something.” She was like a dog with a bone. “I don’t even know how you got your name. Tap. That’s unusual.”
“No, it’s boring. When I met Link, I was pulling taps over at Full Moon Bar.” That lie was expected. People always asked how I got my road name and I didn’t think it was any of their business, so I told everyone a different story.
Naomi scoffed, not buying it for a second. “Link trusts people. Sometimes a little too much.”
The club was made up of military veterans. Some had joined because they believed in the cause and wanted to help, but most had stumbled upon the Dead Presidents because their time in the service had altered their reality and they could no longer reconcile with their old lives. They needed a chain of command and the kind of accountability that would kick their ass if they stepped out of line. Link had only been the president for a few years, and due to recent events, he was learning he couldn’t save everyone. No matter how much he wanted to.
“It’s a good thing he has people like us to watch his back, then,” I replied, trying to put myself in her camp. “I work evenings for an internet security firm, Naomi. I’ve got a steady girlfriend and a life outside of this club. I only joined up because I appreciate what Link’s doing and I want to help.” The lies spilling out of my mouth sounded believable, and I wished like hell they were true. Knowing I needed to divert the conversation and get her off my ass, I threw in, “Your turn.”
She gave me a slow chuckle, eyeing me all the while. “Link told me you were in intelligence. I’m sure you already know more about me than I do.”
It was common knowledge that Naomi had been a Pedro, an Air Force helicopter pilot who specialized in combat search and rescue missions. Eagle knocked her up right before her tenure was over, so when her contract ended, she came home. She was strong, capable, intelligent, and tenacious as fuck because Pedro jobs were difficult to come by, especially for women. However, there was one thing about her I didn’t know. “How are you adapting?” I asked.
She frowned. “What do you mean? To civilian life?”
Her question simplified the struggle too much. Shaking my head, I tried again. “You were at the top of your game, leading a crew that depended on you. Pedros have hero complexes, you all need to swoop in and save the day. Literally. Yet you gave it all up. Now, you’re here, jobless, sitting in a club for military veterans that you can’t join since you were born without a dick. How can you possibly be content?”
“Content?” She snorted. Glancing down, she rubbed a hand over her belly, drawing my attention to the growing baby bump. “I’m bored out of my fuckin’ mind. I grew up in this club, I served my country, and I know more about bikes than most of the members. I’m torn between the desire to take my place and the fear that integration could change the club into something I don’t want to be a part of anymore. When I was in the service I always knew what to do, but now I’m floundering. I feel guilty about leaving my crew, and then I feel guilty about that guilt and wonder if it makes me a bad mom. But I had to leave. I couldn’t have stayed.”
“Why not?” I asked. There were plenty of parents in the service, and the Air Force would have bent over backwards to keep a skilled pilot.
Her gaze drifted to a bottle of Jack Daniels, betraying her desire for a drink. Instead, she sipped from her water, making a face. “One of our last missions went sideways. We were attacked and I lost some of my PJs, my pararescuemen. One was a good friend by the name of Max Stevenson. He had a wife and a two-year-old little boy who thought his daddy hung the moon. I delivered the news myself, and I’ll never forget the look on Mikey’s face when Jamie told him his daddy wasn’t coming home.” Her hand splayed protectively across her belly. “I’m sure you know Link and I grew up without a mom, and I won’t do that to my kid.”
I had to respect her motivation. Especially considering my own situation. No doubt Hailey would eventually ask about her mom, and I’d have to come up with something to tell her. Shoving that problem to the back of my mind where it belonged, I raised my water bottle in toast. “You’re gonna make one hell of a mom, Naomi.”
Grinning, she tapped her bottle against mine. “Thank you, Tap. I do believe that’s the first honest thing you’ve said to me.”
She wasn’t wrong. I should be worried that she could see through my bullshit, but instead I returned her smile, drank my damn water, and kept my mouth shut until the officer meeting wrapped up.
Sasha
One Week ago
IWAS IN over my head.
Not at first. Even though I was jacked up on Ecstasy and hornier than I’d ever been in my life, Breaker was right where I wanted him. And it wasn’t like I got nothing out of our exchange. I’d never felt sexier nor more wanted than I did when he carried me into the bar’s office, unable to wait until we got somewhere more appropriate. He had a taste of me to satiate his hunger, but I made damn sure he wanted more. I teased and flirted for all I was worth until he planted my ass on the back of his bike and took me to his room at the ratty old motel the Serpents had fenced off and turned into their compound.
My seduction of Breaker was going even better than anything I could have planned, and I thought I’d hit the jackpot.For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was finally doing something to make a difference. Strangely enough, while on suspension from my job, I was finally able to do it.
But the next morning, I felt like shit. I awoke naked in Breaker’s bed, hating myself for what I’d done. I wasn’t upset about screwing Breaker—after all, that was part of the plan—I was pissed about how much I’d enjoyed it. Not only did I spread my legs for the enemy, but I got off on every depraved, sinful thing he did to my body.
The burden of my task settled around my shoulders, threatening to cripple me under its weight. What the hell was I doing here? As a cop, I hadn’t been able to do shit about the Serpents. What did I really expect to do as a civilian posing as a whore? What if my suspicions about Sergeant Wilkens were correct and he’d reported me to the Serpents? I’d disguised myself, but was it enough? Anxiety sped up my heart and made me wonder how quickly I could find my clothes and get the hell out of there.
These emotions aren’t real. I’m coming down from the high.
The realization was enough to make me catalog my symptoms. Fatigue, depression, anxiety, confusion, difficulty concentrating, I mentally checked off each box.
