Her concern was touching, but also a little overwhelming, reminding me how much control I’d lost of my situation. My mind was fucked up, but thankfully my body would heal. “No. Nothing. He always used a condom.”
“Good,” Julia replied. “It’s just us in here now, so you don’t have to be strong. Tell me, how are you really doing?”
Up until that moment, I would have said fine. But Julia’s intuition and compassion were too much. She was watching me, expecting me to be honest with her, and I couldn’t keep up the lies I’d been feeding myself for the past week.
I’d been drugged.
I’d been raped.
I’d lost control.
I wasn’t fine.
I was a victim.
One week of mind games from that asshole, and I’d done everything he wanted me to. I’d put up with all of his shit and he couldn’t even bother to warn me that I was about to get jumped into the Serpents? No, it was worse than that. He’d poked the bear before he’d handed me over, making sure my ass kicking was fueled by anger and hate.
Did he want her to kill me?
Breaker and I weren’t exactly lovers. Hell, we couldn’t even be described as friends with benefits. Maybe fuck enemies? Regardless, it still hurt that he would encourage Chloe and her cruel little crew to fuck me up that bad.
If he legitimately wanted me jumped into the club, shouldn’t we have had a conversation about it? Shouldn’t he have warned me or asked for my permission or something? Was this how all the women were brought into the Serpents? One minute they were fucking a member, and the next minute a bunch of bitches with anger issues were beating them senseless.
Congrats! You’re now part of the gang!
Did other women get a choice about whether or not they wanted to join?
I was trying to be cool about the whole thing, but my insides were screaming. The entire time I’d spent with Breaker felt like one epic game of chicken that I was forced to play while blindfolded. With every step, I felt like I was about to go over a cliff.
And after everything I’d gone through, I was no closer to helping those girls than I had been a week ago.
Tap was right, and I couldn’t win against the Serpents.
I also couldn’t give up.
I broke down.
Julia opened her arms to me, and I leaned into her embrace. She smelled faintly of expensive perfume and her hands alternated between patting my back and swiping the hair out of my face. I didn’t know this woman from Adam, but she held me as I cried. Her kindness made me miss my mom, made me think about how all my failures had started with her.
I wouldn’t fail the girls. I would come up with something. I had to.
“I can’t believe Tap brought you to his house,” Julia said. “You don’t understand what a big deal this is. He’s notoriously private. Nobody knows anything about him.”
I didn’t know what to think of that. Tap had reassured me that we were safe here, but I didn’t realize how safe he meant. “Is he really wearing makeup?” I asked.
Julia laughed. “Yes. And whoever applied it was a professional. It sure as hell wasn’t Tap.”
“You don’t think he’s a contouring wizard?”
She laughed even harder. “No.”
Yeah, he didn’t seem like the type to me, either. “Do you think he’s married?”
“No. Well, if he is, that woman hasn’t been doing her duty, because he’s wound tighter than anyone I’ve ever met.”
That made us both laugh, because it was hella true.
Eventually, the men returned. Tap brought out a giant first aid kit, and Havoc rummaged through it, retrieving what he needed. It hurt like a bitch and I bit down on the Popsicle stick Tap offered to keep from screaming, but I managed not to pass out while Havoc stitched up my leg. Tap couldn’t watch, though. The man was seriously squeamish about blood and needles. Thankfully, the cut across my arm was small enough to only require butterfly bandages. Once he’d covered me in antibiotic ointment and bandages, popped my shoulder back into place, and checked over my ribs, Havoc stood.
