Regardless of any remaining animosity she held toward me, Beth had a warm cookie and a warmer smile waiting as I entered. She’d been mopping the floor and took a moment to dip the mop in her bucket. “I knew you’d be around sooner or later,” she said.
“Sorry,” I said, ducking at her admonishment. “I thought it was best if I gave you some time after last night.”
She blew out a breath and started working the mop again. “I shouldn’t have pushed so hard, Mercy. I’m sorry. It’s just that this place changed my life, and I think it can change Landon’s, too. He needs a little of the joy and peace these kids tend to give us. I worry about him going back to God-only-knows-where after his month is over. He’s seen so much, first with his father’s death, and now in the service. This morning, on the walk here, he was so… wound up. It was like he thought we’d be attacked. I’ve never seen him like that before and it’s been worrying me all day.”
“You never talk about what happened to Landon’s dad.”
She leaned against the mop handle. “I was at the grocery store. The two of them were fighting, and I didn’t want to be around it, so I left. I usually made myself scarce when they went at it. I swear, those two could argue about anything, and it just got worse as Landon got older. This time, they were going at it about college. Phil wanted Landon to pick a school before he graduated, and Landon wanted to take a little time and figure out what he wanted to do.” She huffed out a breath. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I would have stuck around. Maybe I could have diffused the situation.”
The guilt in her voice was genuine and soul-crushing, and I understood why she hadn’t gotten angry with Landon for staying away. She carried part of the blame.
“Apparently, one thing led to another, and Phil got so worked up about it he had a heart attack, right there in my living room. Landon didn’t know what was going on. One minute, Phil was standing and yelling at him, and the next he was on the floor. Landon called nine-one-one and they tried to talk him through CPR, but Phil was gone before the ambulance arrived.”
Now that I’d finally dragged it out of her, so many things clicked into place. “That’s why Landon became a medic,” I said.
Beth nodded. “He blames himself for upsetting Phil and for not being able to help him. Thinks if he would have known the signs or known what to do, his dad would still be alive.”
Turned out I wasn’t the only one who wished I had a time machine, so I could help out a parent. Landon and I were completely different, but we had so much in common. He’d thrown himself into his work, trying to make a difference, just like I had. He hadn’t stayed away for seven years because he was selfish, but because it was the only way he knew how to cope.
Feeling like a judgmental asshole for the way I’d treated him, I nodded. “All this time, he’s paying penance for his father’s death.”
“I don’t think he was planning on coming home. Ever.”
As much as I didn’t want to agree with her, Beth’s words rang true in every fiber of my being. Thinking back, I could see all the signs that Landon was still punishing himself for something that wasn’t even his fault.
“That’s why I pushed so hard for him to volunteer,” Beth said. “I’m worried about him being alone in that house, with all the memories of Phil.”
The final bell rang, signaling the end of our short school day. As the pitter-patter of little feet filled the hallway, I nodded.
“I understand.” Volunteering would still have to be Landon’s choice, made because he wanted to help the children, but I could offer Beth some hope. “I think he’s softening up,” I assured her. When she looked at me in question, I told her about Randy and Sammy’s twinning and how I was certain Landon overheard it. He needed to care about the children in order to volunteer, and if hearing stuff like that didn’t do the trick, nothing would.
Beth smiled, a layer of tears brightening her eyes.
“Those boys are so sweet,” she said. “It’s nice when they remind us why we do what we do.”
I was just about to agree when Adina came barreling into the kitchen. “There you are,” she said, her eyes landing on me. “Sheila and her boyfriend are here looking for Toby.”
My mood plummeted. Janet and I had both left voicemails on Sheila’s cell, but neither of us had heard a word back. My last experience with Larry had been like a boxing match that I’d only won because Blade had tagged himself in. I wasn’t looking forward to going another round with Sheila’s flavor of the week. Hoping Larry wasn’t drunk this time, I told Adina, “Stay back and be prepared to call the police.”
On the way to the front doors, I dipped into my office and grabbed my purse, rifling through it until I found my pepper spray. Throwing my purse strap over my shoulder, I kept a hand buried inside and wrapped around the pepper spray just in case. I’d learned from our last encounter and wasn’t going in unprepared.
By the time I reemerged from my office Larry and Sheila had made it past the reception desk. “There she is,” Larry said, pointing at me. “You get off on separating families right before Christmas, bitch? Where the fuck is Toby.”
Larry’s jerky movements and the manic gleam in his eyes made it clear that he was high on something and there’d be no reasoning with him, so I turned my attention to Sheila. She looked rough. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she’d lost weight since I’d seen her last. Wondering what she’d gotten herself into, I tried to reassure her.
“Toby is safe, Sheila. He’s being cared for and if you come with me to my office, I’ll get you the information for his case worker. Her name’s Janet, and she’s great to work with. She’ll help Toby. She can help you, too, if you let her.”
“We don’t need your fuckin’ help,” Larry roared. “Just get us her son back.”
This conversation was going nowhere quick. I glanced over my shoulder and gave Adina the nod to call the cops before turning back to Larry. “I can’t do that. Toby is a ward of the state now, and you’ll need to—”
“I’m sick of your goddamn lies. Where the fuck is he?”
“I don’t know.”
Larry reached behind his back. Fearing the worst, I pulled out my pepper spray and lunged forward, giving him a face full of the mist.
“Fuck! What the fuck was that?” Larry shouted.
Something whacked me in the head, and then everything went black.
