Chapter 6
Mercy
Wondering why Beth had really sent Landon to my apartment, I closed the door and leaned against it. Had she told me a different time for dinner? I reflected on the conversations we’d had over the past week only to come up empty. If she’d mentioned a time change, I sure hadn’t caught it.
Was Landon lying? Did she really send him?
Still trying to figure out what motive either of them could possibly have, I took the cobbler out of the oven and turned off the movie before heading for the bathroom and stripping out of my ratty old sweats. I’d refused to let Landon in, but not knowing him had only been part of the reason. I’d been lazily lounging in front of the television all day, practically drowning in my own loneliness as I watched stupid mushy movies about happy couples and families. I hadn’t showered, my hair was a mess, and there was no way I was letting Mr. Sexy Asshole see me in my current state.
So, now I was hustling to get cleaned up and pull myself together before I headed over for the weekly dinner I usually looked forward to, but had been dreading since Friday night. Beth had her son now, and I wasn’t blood. I was… a fill in. She didn’t need me anymore now that she had the real thing.
I felt inadequate and out of place, and I hated myself for those stupid emotions.
I probably should have made nice with Landon, then I wouldn’t feel so weird about interjecting myself into their dinner. He was Beth’s son, so he couldn’t beallbad. Besides, I didn’t know the details and it wasn’t my place to call him out on his absence. Now things between us were sure to be awkward. Keeping my big mouth shut and minding my own damn business would have been the smart move.
But that asshole deserved to know that his absence had hurt his mom.
Still, I could have been more tactful. It wasn’t like I lacked the ability to be subtle and diplomatic. Heck, my job forced me to make tact my bitch. I mean, it wasn’t like I could come right out and tell people they were lousy parents who should have their rights stripped and be forced into sterilization. And believe me, sometimes it took a heaping serving of tact to chew on those words without spitting them out. But being politic served the greater good, because it meant keeping the children who needed it most in my preschool where I could still help them.
For that, I could swallow every ounce of my pride and every one of my opinions.
But, no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t see any greater good in not pointing out the effects of Landon’s absence on his mother. He needed to know that his actions had consequences, and that while he was off saving the world or whatever, I’d been here comforting the woman whose heart he kept breaking.
I’d sacrifice honesty all day long for the chance to help a child, but not just so I could be comfortable at dinner.
By the time I left for Beth’s I’d talked myself out of any regrets I’d been feeling about dressing Landon down and had puffed myself up with righteous indignation and a shaky sense of honor. I arrived just before five, and Beth opened the door to my knock, giving me a bright smile as she led me toward the kitchen.
“Your home looks beautiful,” I told her, meaning every word. From the lights outside to the decorated tree to the Christmas village in the bay window and the stocking hanging from the fireplace, the transformation was breathtaking. The placefeltlike Christmas. Having never seen it so festive before, the sheer volume of decorations took me by surprise. It was like she’d taken her house from equator to North Pole over the weekend.
“You and Landon must have bought out all the remaining decorations in Seattle.”
“Oh, no. I had all of this in the attic. Landon brought it down after we picked up the tree. Did you and Ben have a nice dinner Friday night?”
She had all this in the attic and she never decorated? That gave me something else to be mad at Landon for, since her lack of holiday spirit in recent years was obviously his fault. And I was kind of hurt that she hadn’t told me about her plethora of decorations. I could have helped her make this winter wonderland.
“Something came up,” I replied, setting the cobbler on the countertop. “Ben had to cancel. I texted him about Christmas but he hasn’t replied yet, so I don’t know if he’ll be here.”
Her empathetic gaze followed me as I removed my coat. Beth understood my struggles with Ben better than anyone. We were both old pros at making excuses for the men we loved when they hurt us.
Speaking of which, Landon was nowhere in sight, and I was both grateful for and strangely disappointed by his absence. Forcing myself not to ask about him because I still didn’t know why Beth had sent him to my apartment (if she had), I carried my coat to the hall closet and hung it up before returning to the kitchen. Beth was watching me with an inquisitive look on her face. “You look nice,” she said.
I didn’t miss the question in her voice as she eyed my outfit. Our Sunday night dinners had always been casual affairs. I usually wore leggings or joggers and a sweatshirt, but today I’d dressed in a tan cardigan over a white shirt tucked into blue skinny jeans with knee-high boots. I’d blown out my hair, leaving it down but adding some loose curls before lining my eyes and brushing mascara on my lashes. I wasn’t exactly dressed up, but I wasn’t my normal slouch self, either.
Heat flooded my cheeks at being called out on my not-so-casual attire. It wasn’t like I wanted to impress Landon, I just didn’t want to look like a slob in front of him. Why? I had no idea, but it probably had to do with some sort of faulty wiring of my brain short-circuiting due to his big dark eyes and chiseled jaw. “Thanks.”
“Are you going somewhere after dinner?”
She was fishing, and I thought about making up an excuse for my appearance, but the look in her eyes told me she already knew the truth. “Nope.” I snapped my mouth shut and washed my hands instead.
Thankfully, the stovetop buzzer dinged, pulling Beth’s attention away from me. Giving me one last glance, she opened the oven door to remove a bubbling pan of cheesy chicken enchiladas, one of my favorite dishes.
“That smells amazing. Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.
“Landon’s in his room. Will you please go tell him dinner’s ready?”
I’d made the offer hoping she had some sort of cooking-related task for me, not a retrieve-the-enemy mission, but since I couldn’t take back my offer of assistance now, I slowly made my way down the hall to Landon’s room. There were only two bedrooms in the house. I’d never been inside either of them but had a pretty good idea which door led to tall, dark, and sexy. After pausing for a moment to straighten my outfit and smooth down my hair, then silently berating myself for being so ridiculously girly, I knocked.
“Come in.”
