“I don’t know what you’ll do,” I answered honestly. “I don’t really know anything about you. I mean we’ve talked about rifles and the service, but spending two nights together over the span of two years doesn’t exactly make us friends. I know this is a shock and all, but I’m having this baby.” I covered my belly with my hand and his gaze followed. “I don’t expect… anything from you.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re havingmybaby, you mean, and you don’t expect anything from me. Do you hear how fucked up that sounds?”
Well, yeah, when he worded it like that. “Not what I meant. Look, I don’t know if you even want a kid. Hell, I didn’t even knowIwanted a kid until I realized I was pregnant and let myself think about it. I don’t know how much you’ll want to be involved in our child’s life, and I don’t want you to feel trapped, like you have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“You must think I’m a real piece of shit, Naomi.”
“Not wanting a kid you didn’t ask for doesn’t make you a piece of shit. Promising to be there, to love and care for the child, and then abandoning them… that makes you a piece of shit. I want to have this baby, and that’s my choice. So, now I’m giving you a choice.”
“Don’t you want me to be involved?” he asked.
He wasn’t picking up what I was putting down, and I was far too tired and emotional for this sort of verbal sparring. Eagle obviously needed time to process, and I’d had to pee for the past twenty minutes. My bladder was on the verge of bursting, and now that I thought about it, I was hungry, too. No, hangry. I was about to start gnawing off my arm if I didn’t get something to eat. It was time to wrap this up and see to my body’s needs.
“Look, Houston, you’re misunderstanding me, so I’m gonna lay it out for you. I’m having a kid. Your kid. I’d love nothing more than for you to be involved in the child’s life, and in mine for that matter. And I know that’s fucking crazy. I don’t know you—you don’t let anyone get close enough to really know you—but I’d like to. I know there’s more between us than whiskey, sex, and guns, and I’d really like to explore that with you. But I know you’re still dealing withherdeath, and I can’t compete with a ghost. Especially not one that makes you feel guilty for being with me.”
I wasn’t sure about that last bit, but had my suspicions. I paused for a moment to see if he’d deny it, but he didn’t. He continued to stare at me, waiting for me to continue.
“You push people away. You got that whole asshole persona on lockdown, but I know it’s just a mask you hide behind so people won’t see the real you. You don’t want anyone too close because you don’t want to lose anyone else. I get it. I get you.” I really did, too. After watching two of my PJs get mowed down, I understood Eagle on a level I never thought was possible. “But I’m having a kid, so I can’t close myself off like you have.”
His gaze roamed down to my flat abdomen before drifting back up to my face.
“I want you to do this with me, but this kid’s a lifelong commitment. Regardless of what happens between me and you, this baby is forever. If you can’t hang—if you can’t get emotionally attached and are going to need to bail—you need to tell me now, because if you walk out on our kid and fuck up their life like my mom did to me and Link, I swear I will hunt you down and end you. I’m in this for the long haul, and I need to know where you stand, so don’t answer now. Take some time and think about it. Then let me know what sort of relationship you want with this baby, and with me.”
My voice cracked a little at the end, but I pushed through. Before he could respond, I fled from his room. Hands shaking, words replaying in my head, I hurried down the hall and straight into the women’s restroom. After I took care of business, I splashed some cold water on my face and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I’d told Eagle everything. How I felt, that I wanted him in my life.
Had it been a mistake?
God, I must have sounded so desperate.
I’m pregnant, love me. Or at least love our kid.
If you walk out, I’ll find you and kill you.
Awesome.
Maybe I should have stuck with Monica’s “Houston, we have a problem” opening. It honestly couldn’t have made my little speech any worse. Ah, well. The ball was in Eagle’s court now, and I needed to wait to see how he’d play it.
I thought about going back to my room, but I was starving and needed some fresh air to clear my head. Since I’d already broke the news to Eagle, there was no reason to keep my homecoming a secret. I marched down the stairs and through the common area. The room was strangely empty, except for a beautiful brunette I vaguely recognized and an adorable little boy I’d never seen before. Surprised, I stopped to introduce myself.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Carly, and this is my son, Trent.”
“You were at the wedding, right?” I asked.
“Yep. I work at the Copper Penny. We’re here with Wasp, now. He’s meeting with Link.”
The surprises continued to roll in. “You’re here with Wasp? As inwithWasp?”
She laughed, nodding.
The kid had to be around five or so, and I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the idea of Wasp having a child. “Is he…” I glanced at Trent and realized how rude my question would sound. Wincing, I said, “Sorry. I, uh… am socially awkward. And that’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s totally fine. Wasp and I started dating about a month and a half ago. He works fast, though.” She held up her hand, showing off the old-fashioned looking engagement ring on her finger.
My jaw just about fell off my face, and my eyes felt like they were going to roll out of my head. “Waspis engaged?” Then my cheeks heated. “My God, I’m so sorry… I… haven’t seen him since Link’s wedding and he wasn’t… I… I have no idea how to end this sentence, so I’m just going to keep rambling until you take pity and stop me.”
She only laughed harder. “Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are. Things have changed a lot since Link’s wedding.”
