There was something else in Mindy’s eyes, though. Jealousy? Arousal? Determined to ferret it out, I replied, “Maybe, but she can suck cock like a fuckin’ pro.”
Kim deep throated Sage, gagging as she grabbed the backs of his thighs and forced him deeper. She pulled back, then did it again. The sight was hot as fuck, making my own cock spring to life. I tugged Mindy’s hand and came to a stop, settling her in front of me so we could both watch as I palmed her tits. She didn’t pull away.
Sage’s hand settled on the back of Kim’s head. Holding her where he wanted her, he thrust into her mouth. Several of the guys had gathered around and were watching now, and it looked like Kim would have a busy night. The club whores usually did. As our counselor, Sage claimed that sex was a critical part of recovery, helping fucked-up old servicemen find some measure of peace and release, if only for a little while. I didn’t know if I bought into that whole sexual healing shit, but while most of my brothers used sex to forget, I used it to remember.
“I’m better at sucking dick than she is,” Mindy said, leaning into my kneading hands. Her voice was deeper now, and her nipples pebbled against my hands. Felt like she wasn’t even wearing a bra.
“Oh yeah?” I asked, looking down at her. Those razor thin lips wouldn’t be nearly as pretty as Kim’s stretched around my cock, but they’d do. Especially if she knew how to work her tongue.
“Yes,” Mindy replied. “Way better.”
I gave her tits another squeeze. “Prove it.”
She looked around, taking in the guys watching Kim. I could tell the idea was turning her on, making her wet. Not only was she competitive, but she also had a kinky side. I could help her explore that. “Here?” she asked.
“You sound like you have something to prove, babe. I’m just giving you the platform if you want it. Suck me off here, or up in the room, I don’t care which. But down here, you can show us all how much better you are than Kim.” I rubbed my erection along her ass, letting her know how much the idea turned me on. “And I think you’ll get off on my brothers watching you, wishing their cocks were in your mouth. In your pussy.”
Her breath hitched. She was thinking about it.
“You like that idea, don’t you? You want them all to want you.”
I didn’t think she was going to do it, but Mindy surprised me when she turned and dropped to her knees, unbuckling my jeans and setting my cock free. Lining me up in front of her mouth, I realized I’d been wrong. The shortycouldsuck me off while on her knees. She gave me head right there in the common room, taking me into her mouth and putting on a show for my brothers. She moaned loudly and played with my balls like my package was the most amazing thing she’d ever had in her mouth.
There was no way she could deep throat me, but she gave it the old college try, and although she wasn’t as skilled as Kim, my dick didn’t complain. I fucked her mouth as my brothers watched, giving us all a healthy dose of that sexual therapy Sage insisted we needed. I let her take me to the edge of release before I pulled her to her feet and led her upstairs. Stripping her bare, I fucked her big tits to get my sensitivity under control, and then I turned her ass over and had her grip the headboard as I plowed into her from behind.
Just like every time I fucked, I closed my eyes and tried to slip into the past. Tried to imagine a different body under me, one with silky dark curls, a spattering of freckles, soft plump lips, intelligent green eyes. The memories evaded me, swirling around in my head like dust motes, refusing to form anything solid. Desperate, I tried to conjure up Genie’s smile.
Nothing solidified.
Memories of her used to torment me, but over the past several months those memories had been harder and harder grasp. Now I realized that true torment came not from remembering, but from forgetting.
It had only been four years. How could I forget the woman I loved? The woman I’d planned to marry.
Guilt and anger stabbed at me, making me feel like shit. Like the asshole I was.
Sage called it ‘survivor’s guilt,’ but that seemed like such an insignificant title for the way her death had so irrevocably changed me. There was no getting over it or moving forward. I was a different man now than I’d been four years ago, and there was no going back.
And now I couldn’t even remember the face of the woman who’d forever changed me. I’d have to bring out the box of photos again. I’d gladly torture myself to burn her image back into my memory.
“Yes!” Mindy shouted. She was still putting on a show. For who? Me? She didn’t need to try so hard. This was never about her. “Fuck me! Harder!”
Pissed at myself, at the memories I couldn’t force to return, I was all too willing to oblige. I plowed into her harder, faster, wishing I could fuck it all away. Wishing I could fuck myself back in time. Wishing I could fuck myself into the grave beside Genie.
“Oh God, I’m coming!”
Mindy’s voice anchored me to a world I no longer wanted. Anger burned within me. Needing an outlet for it, I fucked her through her orgasm and onto the next one. “Is this what you want?” I asked.
“Yes! Please, yes! Fuck me!”
She took everything I gave her. Her limp body made me miss the way Genie would fuck me back. The way she would arch her back, wrap her legs around me, and squeeze my dick inside her. The way she made damn sure she got hers. I clung to those memories, wishing for something other than the boring woman who was under me.
I fucked Mindy until my body was so spent it came in self-defense, forcing me to stop so I could catch my fucking breath and calm down my heart. Exhaustion left me feeling empty. Hollow.
Not even sex could bring back memories of Genie anymore.
Mindy was breathing heavily as she collapsed on her stomach beside me. Disgusted with her, with myself, with the world, I smacked her on the ass and said, “Time to go.”
She pushed up on her arms and stared at me. “What?”
