“Not much to tell,” I replied, rolling up a pair of jeans so they wouldn’t get wrinkled. “It’s not like I know her or anything. We spoke on the phone once, and that’s it. Her name’s Emily. She’s a lawyer and she helped get Link’s buddy, Havoc, out of jail.”
“Havoc?” Monica asked. “I remember you talking about him when you came home last time. Is that the big black dude or the blond flirt?”
“Look at you, all paying attention to my tales from home.”
“Please, girl, your stories about the club are reality show worthy. I live for this shit.”
I stuffed the jeans into my backpack and eyed the dress hanging on my closet door. “Havoc’s the big black dude. He caught a rapist in the act and beat the shit out of the bastard, as in landed him in intensive care, resulting in an attempted murder charge. Among other charges.”
“First of all, shout out to the brotha for laying out the sleaze, but holy shit, why don’t I know this? You know I live for the goods, Nae, and here you are, holding out on me. As your best friend I should know any and all information pertaining to you, your family, and your brother’s merry band of hot and sexy bikers.”
I rolled up a shirt and stuffed it in my bag. “I must have missed that part of the contract. Anyway, Link emailed me about it last month when you and I were both deployed. I forgot to mention it when we got home.”
Monica studied me for a moment but didn’t reply. Normally she’d call me out on such a weak excuse, but my last deployment had been the roughest of my career. She knew it was bothering me, and my lack of willingness to talk about it had driven her to questioning everyone else on my crew. If this pilot gig didn’t work out for her, Monica would make a bomb-ass intelligence gatherer for the CIA. Information was her currency.
“Right.Thatdeployment.” Sniffing for blood, she waited for me to elaborate but I refused to rip off my bandage and show her the damage.
She was far too good at reading me, and her eyes softened at whatever she saw in my expression. “Nae…”
“No,” I snapped, turning my back to her. I couldn’t talk about the op. Not yet. I had to keep pressure on that wound, so I wouldn’t bleed out. “So… what else do I know about Emily? Well, this dress is stunning, so she’s obviously secure enough in her own beauty that she doesn’t have to ugly-up her bridesmaids to make herself look good. That’s commendable. Did you see Michelle’s bridesmaid’s dresses? Hideous.”
Michelle was a mutual acquaintance who clearly didn’t share Emily’s confidence. Her bridesmaids dresses had looked like prom dresses from the eighties. In contrast, the dress Emily had sent me to be fitted was strapless, floor-length, and emerald green. With a bodice that lifted my breasts, slimmed my stomach, and made my ass pop, the gown would make most red-carpet dresses look like potato sacks. I’d never worn something so luxurious and sexy. Not only did Link’s fiancée have taste, she wasn’t a prude. She had no problem with her girls showing off a little skin.
Monica held her tongue for a moment. I knew she wanted to revisit what happened during my deployment, but thankfully she didn’t push. “Girl, that dress fits you like a condom,” she replied.
“A condom? Are you saying I look like a dick in it?”
She laughed. “Hell no. I’m saying it’s tight and prepares you for some action. I wish I could be there to see the look on Bird-brain’s face when you show up wearing that. Homeboy’s gonna blow his wad on the spot. I hope his boxers are waterproof. You might need some sort of splash guard if you get too close to him.”
Bird-brain was the nickname Monica had not-so-lovingly bestowed upon Eagle after I’d told her about the disappearing act he’d pulled after our amazing night together. I thought he and I had connected, but judging by the way he didn’t even show up to say goodbye, obviously not. It wasn’t like I’d been looking for a relationship or anything, but it would have been nice to know I’d rocked his world as much as he’d rocked mine. Almost two years after we’d done the horizontal tango, and I still couldn’t get the man out of my head. I was anxious to see him again.
“Yeah, well he’s gonna have to cream his pants, because he’s not getting anywhere near my vajayjay again. I learned my lesson.”
She laughed. “What lesson? It was supposed to be a drive by coochie cleaning. You weren’t supposed to get attached to the guy. That’s on you, Nae. But the asshole could have at least nutted-up to say goodbye.”
“I didn’t get attached. I didn’t even ask for his phone number, nor did I try to cuddle after we banged. I got my clothes on and got the hell out of there before he could kick me out.” Kim had told me that Eagle didn’t like his fuck-buddies to stick around, and I’d been determined not to join the ranks of the evicted.
“Play it up however you want, but you can’t tell me you didn’t catch a little case of the feels. That faraway look you get whenever you talk about him tells all.”
“He was fabulous in the sack,” I defended. “Trust me, Monie Love, not only did he have a huge schlong, but he knew how to use it. If anything, I’m emotionally connected to his dick.”
She unfolded her legs and stood, her expression still skeptical. “Well, that dress will test the restraint of your boy and his giant schlong, but what’s going to keep you in check? You gotta hold out this time. If your legs fall open the minute you walk through the door, homeboy’s gonna think he can treat you like a whore. You have to demand respect from these players.”
“My legs are not falling open at all. I’m going home for my brother’s wedding. That’s it.” I was almost fifty percent sure I could resist Eagle. At least a solid forty-nine percent certain I wouldn’t trip and land on his penis. “It’s been two years. He could be married by now. His hair could have fallen out and all of his teeth could be rotten or missing. Who knows if I’ll even find him attractive anymore? I was pretty plastered last time.” Not at the airport I wasn’t. And not during lunch with my family when I kept eyeing him, but I was trying to forget all that. “I’m not even going to drink this time, so I won’t have my whiskey goggles on.”
She cackled. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot, huh?”
Plotting was more like it.I’d burned through too many brain cells wondering if I’d still feel that strange magnetic pull toward Eagle, and thinking up ways I could resist if I did.I wasn’t ready to admit that aloud, though, so I ignored her and finished packing.
All too soon, Monica’s laughter died down and she grew uncharacteristically somber. “Will you tell your dad about what happened during this last deployment?”
The sudden change in topic blindsided me, flooding my mind with memories. Gunshots. Wounded lying everywhere. My desperate attempts to get my disabled helicopter off the ground. The coppery-sweet smell of blood. My stomach roiled, and my vision swam. “No,” I choked out. I’d felt so fucking helpless that day. Friends had died, and it didn’t matterhow good my piloting skills werebecause I couldn’t even get us in the air. There wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do but shoot at the seemingly endless stream of attackers.
Forcing the memories to the back of my mind, I blocked them behind the thickest wall I could construct. Then I took a deep breath and grounded myself in the present.
I’m safe.
I’m home.
