“Most people didn’t know about the pistol, but the rifle was always hanging in his back window. The cops wouldn’t let me see his truck, either. Said it was evidence. Then they cleaned it out and gave it to Robbie’s parents who hated me for ruining his life by getting pregnant. So, I don’t even know if the pistol was still in there.”
She wasn’t playing when she said she had no family. Even Trent’s dad’s family had abandoned them.
“Then, Becca died.” Carly’s eyes watered. She blinked and took another drink.
“What happened to her?”
“Robbie’s death messed her up. She blamed herself for not making him happy enough, for not seeing that his depression was flaring again. I suspected Nate and tried to talk to her about it, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too hurt and angry. She pushed me away and started screwin’ with meth. One night, she was stoned out of her mind and lit a bunch of candles before climbing into her bathtub and passing out.”
“Meth doesn’t make you pass out,” I said.
“Exactly. I could always tell when my pothead foster parents were using meth because the house was clean. Nobody passes out on meth.”
“But the authorities said she died in the fire?”
“Yep. By the time the firemen arrived, there was nothing they could do.”
My mind couldn’t even process the shit she’d been through. It was amazing she was still going, still putting one foot in front of the other, and not locked away in some psych ward. “You think it was Nate?”
“I know it sounds crazy, but yes. He’d always been protective of me, but you should have seen how pissed he was at the idea of Robbie cheating on me. He was scary, Wasp. After Becca’s funeral, Nate said something about her getting what she deserved, and I just knew… I know he did it.” A tear slid down Carly’s cheek, but she angrily brushed it away. “Robbie and Becca didn’t do anything wrong and I couldn’t even defend them, because I feared what would happen if Nate found out I’d lied to him. Their bodies weren’t even cold yet when he asked me out on another date. Like I could just forget about my two best friends’ deaths and have a good time. I told him I wasn’t ready… that I needed to grieve, then I went home, packed all the clothes and toys I could fit in my car, emptied my bank account, and got the hell out of there.”
“Smart.”
“Or crazy. What if Nate’s not responsible for their deaths? What if Robbie did commit suicide? What if Becca did light all those candles and was too stoned to save herself from burning? Then I uprooted Trent and took him away from everyone and everything he’s ever known. And now, he can’t even put pumpkins on his father’s grave.” More tears spilled from her eyes.
“Pumpkins on his grave?”
She waved me off. “Something he saw on a cartoon. That’s why I called you on Father’s Day. He wanted to see his dad’s grave and I couldn’t handle it.”
I snaked my arm around her and pulled her onto my lap. She curled into my chest and started sobbing. Patting her back, I assured her, “You’re protecting your kid. That’s never wrong. This Nate asshole could very well be responsible for their deaths. You did the right thing by getting out of there.
“If he’s responsible, then so am I,” she whispered.
“How the fuck do you figure?” I asked, pulling back so I could see her face.
She raised her chin and stared me down. “Because I should have told Nate from the beginning that I wasn’t interested in him, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I didn’t want him to hurtme. If he killed Robbie and Becca because I allowed him to think Robbie was cheating on me with my best friend, that’s on me.”
“If he killed them, he’s a goddamn murderer and a psychopath. You can’t possibly believe you’re responsible for some nutjob’s actions. Sorry, dove, but you are not that powerful.”
She stared at me, her expression angry.
I wiped the tears from beneath her eyes. “You need to stop beating yourself up over this. I don’t care if you’resafe, Carly. I don’t care if this maniac shows up on my doorstep. Shit, I wish he would. You and me, we’ve got something here, and you’re not living in fear of this asshole.”
Carly
WASP HELD ME while I cried.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone did that. It was probably Becca, after I’d found out I was pregnant with Trent. I’d felt so afraid and alone, and I didn’t know what to do or how I could be a mom when I’d never even had one. I didn’t know it, but even then Becca was in love with Robbie. She kept her feelings bottled and helped me face the reality of being a homeless, pregnant high school student.
And because of me, Becca was dead.
Regardless of Wasp’s assurances, I couldn’t help but feel responsible for their deaths.
“You haven’t heard from Nate since you left your hometown, have you?” Wasp asked, brushing my hair back from my face.
I was a mess of tears and didn’t want him to see me, so I leaned forward to let it curtain my face once again. “No. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going and haven’t contacted anyone back home since leaving. I’ve been careful. I even told Flint and Mike, my boss at the coffee shop, that I had a psycho ex who worked in the sheriff’s department, so they wouldn’t pull a background check. It felt like a bit much, because I don’t think Nate would drive all this way to mess with me, but I don’t know.”
“How far? Where are you from?”
