The waiter arrived with our drinks and took our food orders.
“So… Trent, what kind of toys do you like to play with?” Stephen asked.
Trent tapped his chin. “Uh… army men and dinosaurs and Legos and cars and superheroes.”
Stephen nodded. “Excellent choices. Who’s your favorite superhero?”
“Spiderman,” Trent replied.
“Our grandkids went to see the new Spiderman movie when it came out. Did you see it?” Elaine asked.
“Yes! Wasp watched it with me.” Trent bounced up from his seat, standing in his chair. Before I could tell him to sit down, he shouted, “I say Penis, you say Parker!”
I gaped at my kid, hoping I’d misheard him.
“Penis! Parker! Penis! Parker!”
Nope, I’d heard him correctly. So had everyone else in the restaurant because they were all staring at us. One mom even had her hands over her daughter’s ears. My cheeks went from warm to on fire in a nanosecond. “Trent! Stop that. What do you think you’re doing? Where did you hear that?”
His expression fell as he took in my face and let me help him back into his seat. “It was in the movie.”
My gaze snapped to Wasp.
The asshole was trying not to laugh. “I… Um… Yeah. It was in the movie.”
Turning back to Trent, I asked, “Are you supposed to say penis in public?”
“No, but—”
“Apologize to the table for being rude.”
“But it wasn’t rude, it was funny.”
Ready to grab my kid and bolt for the door before I died of embarrassment, I glanced around the table. Elaine and Stephen were having as much trouble containing their laughter as Wasp was. They weren’t offended, or angry, or about to bring out their pitchforks and burn me at the stake for being a horrible mom.
“Sound familiar, honey?” Stephen asked.
Elaine’s chest bounced with a giggle, but she stifled it and nodded. “So familiar. I would swear he was Andrew’s. Carly, I cannot tell you the number of times that boy embarrassed us in public. Always trying to get a laugh.” She placed her hands on either side of Trent’s face and said, “You, my child, are a peach.”
Trent’s brow furrowed. “I’m not a peach. I’m a boy.”
Her smile widened. “Yes, you are. A wonderful little boy at that.”
And I was still appalled and humiliated, regardless of how they were trying to play it off like it was no big deal.
Wasp stood, coming around to our side of the table, and held out his hands to Trent. “Come on, buddy. Grandma and Grandpa are about to tell stories about me, and I don’t think you need any ideas. Let’s go wash your hands and talk about why you shouldn’t say that word.”
Trent frowned, but went to him. As they walked off, Elaine and Stephen both started snickering.
“I’m sorry, Carly,” Elaine said, “But he reminds me so much of Andrew. Honey, remember when he was three and dropped his pants in your bank to water the tree?”
Laughing, Stephen nodded. “Just stood there in the window, waving at the people walking by on the sidewalk as he peed into that pot. I was trying to move up at the time and thought for sure he’d ruined my chances. Thankfully, my manager had boys, too.”
“And that one time when he was about six or seven, and he asked that nun if she still had boobies, or if God took them.” Elaine shook her head. “The nun was absolutely scandalized. She brought in Father Tucker. I think she wanted the father to do an exorcism.”
“Ohmigosh,” I whispered.
“Yep.” Stephen snorted. “Don’t forget about the two-hundred-dollar bill we received from that tampon company.”
