“Things I did foryou!” A sob escaped from my throat. Taking a deep breath to settle myself, I said, “Do you know why I was content to be Mom’s puppet? To be your bargaining chip?”
“Don’t act like you got nothing out of the deal. Your trust fund—”
“Fuck my trust fund. You and Mom have dangled it over my head long enough, but you know what? The trust fund didn’t pull my strings. You guys did. I danced for you. For your approval and respect. I don’t give a flying fuck about the money.” Tears were beginning to stream down my cheeks. I angrily brushed them away. “All I ever wanted was to make you proud—to make you love me—and all you ever cared about was your business, your name, and your goddamn reputation.”
“Julia—”
“No. You call Wesley and you let him know that I’m never coming back to him. And if he takes away my store, I swear I will attack him with everything I have. I will call everyone who will listen and tell them that he was in bed with the Kinlans. That he’s probably the one who had them murdered.”
“You have no proof, and he will—”
“I don’t care. This is my chess game now, and I’d rather sacrifice myself than let him win.”
“Julia, listen to reason.”
“Again, with the reason? I’m so sick and tired of listening to your stupid reasoning. I’m not your fucking puppet anymore, Dad. Consider the strings cut.”
I ended the call.
So much emotion flooded me. Relief. Failure. Sorrow. Anger. It was too much to handle. Too much to even decipher. My cheeks were wet, my heart was broken, and not only had I cut ties to my family, but I’d burned the strings.
What would happen when Laura came back? Would she be allowed to see me, or would they take her away, too?
I needed pills and the Na Pali Coastline. I needed to shove these feelings away so I could think. There had to be something I could do.
“Julia?” Stocks said from the doorway, his tone concerned. “I hate to bother you, but the couple out here wants to ring up their purchase. If you could show me how to use the cash register…”
I took a deep breath and wiped my cheeks. Then I pasted a smile on my face and went to go ring up my customers.
The young family didn’t stay much longer than the elderly couple, and after everyone was gone, I called Havoc and filled him in on the situation.
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
“The less you know, the better,” I replied.
“Jules…”
I leaned against the counter. “Thought I’d drive over to his house, light a match, and see what happens.”
“Arson? You really want to go down like that?” He was trying to keep things light, to make me feel better, but I could hear the worry in his voice. It touched something deep inside me.
“Not really, but I could probably get off on a second-degree charge. We’re talking a ten-year max sentence, but since I have no prior record, I’d more likely get three to nine months. I’d prefer to snap his puny little weasel neck, but murder is a trickier charge.”
“I see you’ve been doing your homework.”
“I’m nothing if not thorough.”
“Babe.” Havoc sighed. “I’m so sorry all this shit is happening to you.”
“Not your fault.”
“Yeah, but I should be there for you. I need to be there for you. I’ll call Brick and see if I can’t get him to cover for me, so I can head over there.”
Havoc was such a great guy, and I didn’t deserve him at all. Dropping my head to my hands, I replied. “That’s not necessary.”
“I know it’s not, but I also know you need me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
As much as I wanted to argue, I did need Havoc. I needed him to wrap his big warm arms around me and tell me everything would be okay. I needed his brain to help me work out a plan, his strength to help me keep putting one foot in front of the other.
