Someone I didn’t have to share.
Julia and I had understood each other, and the exclusive friends with benefits relationship she’d offered would have been perfect for us both. I enjoyed spending time with her and she was a mind-blowing fuck. We could have hung out and worked off tension without the drama and expectations placed on a dating relationship. It would have given us both a chance to test the waters and see if we could have handled something more between us. Then she had to go and put me on ignore.
Why? Had she given up the fight and returned to her own life? Or had she returned to take another shot at Wesley, and now she was sitting in a jail cell while I was losing my ever-lovin’ mind over her?
Link’s office door was open, which meant that he and Emily weren’t in there getting it on (like they usually were when Link worked late. Those two were worse than a couple of fucking rabbits). I paused at the door and waited for him to invite me in. He stopped typing on his laptop and looked up at me questioningly.
“Hey brother. You look like a fuckin’ storm cloud darkenin’ my doorway. What’s goin’ on?” he asked.
Link had been my best friend since the Army. When I met him, we were both fresh off the Q-course and thought we were hot shit. There are several misconceptions about Army Special Forces. Most common is that we’re all like Rambo, flexing our bulging biceps as we single-handedly infiltrate and attack the enemy in savage bloodbaths while throwing out shitty one-liners. Nothing could be further from the truth. Although our A-Team did see its fair share of dangerous missions, the majority of our time was spent educating and training allies. We were all intelligent and well-trained with wiry, fit bodies that enabled us to run for days with little to no calories (AKA badass slender nerds). And most importantly, we don’t do that solo bullshit; we work as a team.
My time in the service thinned me down, toughened me up, expanded my mind, and taught me to trust someone other than myself. My team was the shit, and I knew every last one of them had my back. Link was more than my commander, though. His moral compass, integrity, and wisdom pushed me to be a good man while teaching me to forgive myself when I fell short. He was the brother I never had—the brother I chose—and I was glad to call him my president as well as my friend.
“You got a few minutes?” I asked, holding up the beers.
He pushed back from his computer and gestured at the couch on the other side of his desk. “Yeah, man. Come in. Have a seat and tell me what’s got you lookin’ so goddamn murderous.”
Link had a bottle opener attached to the side of his desk. I used it to pop the tops off the beers and passed him one before making myself comfortable. I took a long pull as I tried to organize my thoughts. I hadn’t told anyone about Julia. Not a goddamn soul. Partly because I didn’t know how to put what I’d experienced with her into words, and partly because I was embarrassed that she hadn’t called me back. Was the connection I’d felt real? Or was it all just attraction and sex? I was a wreck inside and didn’t want to open up at all, but Sage says that talking through shit often helps you categorize it and quantify its significance. I didn’t know about all that, but if I didn’t talk to someone soon, I’d explode. Link was doing the relationship thing with Emily, so if anyone would understand me, it was him.
“I know I’m one hell of a sexy beast, but are you gonna talk or just stare at me all day?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I replied, “Trying to figure you out, bro. What makes a girl like Emily fall for an ugly motherfucker like you?”
He grinned. “She sits on my face a lot.”
“Way too much information, man.”
“You asked.”
“Consider me duly punished.”
He nodded, watching me as he took a drink. “I take it this is about a woman.”
That proved to be the opening I needed. Starting from the way Julia had practically eye-fucked me in her bookstore before trying to trick me into taking her to the wedding, I told him everything that had transpired between us. He listened quietly, often nodding. It felt strangely good to let it all out. The whole experience, from our first meeting to the morning I kissed her goodbye, felt like a tornado that had been swirling everything together in my mind. Talking through it allowed me to compartmentalize my interactions with Julia and look at each one for what it was. Regardless of her lack of response to my calls and texts, we had connected. I was sure of it. But that meant that something else was going on… something she didn’t want to talk to me about.
Link listened until I finished, and then shook his head with a low chuckle. “You stayed the night?”
“Yeah. She’s got a comfortable bed.”
“And I bet all you did was snuggle.” He laughed, waiting for me to defend myself.
I didn’t. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t share, and that included details. Some shit was sacred and what happened in Julia’s bedroom would stay between her and me.
“She must be one hell of a woman if she hasyouthis fucked up.” Link drained the last of his beer and set it on his desk in what felt like a signal, ending out conversation. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
That was it? I’d been expecting him to tell me she sounded crazy and that I needed to walk away from the drama before I did something stupid that landed me back in jail. Nothing could have prepared me for him complimenting her and wanting to meet her before dismissing me. Had he been listening?
“She’s got all kinds of shit going on with her family and her ex. You heard that, right?” I asked. “She’s given me an out by ignoring me. Hell, she told me to leave her alone. Maybe I should just forget about her.”
He shrugged. “All right. Do that. Whatever.” His attention went back to his laptop.
The idea of never seeing Julia again tied my stomach in knots and made me want to bust shit up. Why hadn’t she called me back? Why the fuck was she messing with me like this? And why didn’t Link give a shit? “What the fuck, man?” I asked.
“It was your suggestion.”
“It was a shitty suggestion. I came to you because I was hoping for something else.”
“You said it yourself… this broad is making you crazy. If you can walk away, then yeah, you should. Why not?”
