I should walk.
I should get the fuck out of that bookstore and never look back.
But the fear and desperation in Julia’s eyes held me hostage. I could help her. As crazy as she sounded, I understood her. I too had a beast inside of me, and he was a motherfucker to contain. Last time he’d gotten free, I’d put Noah Kinlan in the hospital. I could have just ripped his scrawny ass off of that girl and called the cops, but the beast needed more. It needed the sound of Noah’s bones breaking and the scent of his blood. I probably would have killed Noah if the guys from the bar hadn’t shown up. Yeah, I understood Julia’s predicament all too well, and I needed her to know I wasn’t the hero she was looking for.
“No matter what you read about me, I’m no saint, Julia.”
She took a step closer, invading my space with her floral-scented tempting body. She knew what she was doing, how she was affecting me. I could see it in the smile that ghosted her lips and the shift in her stance. The way she stuck her tits out. “Good. A saint wouldn’t survive two seconds in my world. I need a devil who’s figured out how to lock himself away.”
She was tempting me, inviting my beast to come play, testing me to see if my resolve was strong enough to contain him. She was showing me that she understood my struggle and saw who I really was. Helping her would be a gamble. Get us together, and we could either save the world or destroy it.
I never could turn down a good challenge. But I wasn’t careless and needed to make sure she was committed to the cause before I agreed. “I have three conditions.”
“You’ll do it?” she asked, her eyes wide as she grabbed my arm. “You’ll be my date for the wedding?’
I nodded. “As long as you agree to the conditions.”
She eyed me, making it clear she wasn’t used to resistance. “Okay…?”
“I’m driving. I’ll pick you up.”
“Great. Not a problem. What’s the second one?”
“No more lies. No trying to play me. No games. At the first hint of any of that bullshit, I’ll bounce. I can’t help you unless you’re straight up with me. Nothing but honesty from here on out.”
She filled her cheeks with air and then slowly blew it out. “That’s a toughie. It’s like second-nature for me to push and pull and—”
“I’m on your side, Julia. I’m trying to help you and I won’t put up with that shit.”
Her gaze raked over me again, and her eyes darkened. She liked that. It turned her on that she couldn’t push me around. I filed that little tidbit away for later.
“Okay.” She took another deep breath. “Nothing but honesty from here on out.”
“Third, if I do this, not only will you hook me up with this gardener, but you’ll also help me out with something next Saturday. My club is hosting a dinner for the homeless and—”
“You want a donation? Sure. Absolutely. How much?”
“I don’t want a donation,” I said with a chuckle, amused at how quickly her mind went to money. She’d definitely been raised rolling in it. “I want you to come and serve food to the homeless.”
Her jaw dropped. “You wantmeto serve food to the homeless? After everything I just told you? Have you been listening? I’m dangerous, Havoc.”
“Only to the people who can offer you something. You’re like an addict, babe.”
She stared at me for a beat and I could almost see the wheels in her head spinning, trying to follow my thought process. “I think you’re oversimplifying my condition.”
I shook my head. “You’re complicating it.”
She folded her arms. “Okay, I’ll bite. How am I like an addict?”
“You did something you regret, and you want to get out of that lifestyle. But now you have to attend this party where you’ll be tempted to use again. You’re afraid you won’t be able to withstand the temptation, so you’re calling in the big guns.”
Her gaze went directly to my arms. “You do have big guns.” She let the rest of what I’d said sink in for a few moments, then sucked in a breath and took a step back. “Shit. Okay, I am like an addict.”
“And when addicts want to change their behavior, we have to get them out of their own mind. Get them to step away from their own problems. We encourage them to serve. To do something for someone else. So, that’s my third condition.”
“And you’ll be there?” she asked. “You’ll keep me from freaking out on anyone?”
“Yeah. I’ll have your back. There and at the wedding.”
