We were doing everything we could, and we were close. I could feel it. Now I needed to get Emily’s mind off her missing grandma, so she could focus on court tomorrow.
“You know how I got through the Q-course and made it into Special Forces?” I asked.
Emily shook her head still watching me.
“While you’re in the course, you go days with no sleep. It’s a killer, and I was dead on my feet. Pops had warned me about it and told me to take some chewing tobacco with me. I didn’t chew, but understood the value of it when my eyes wouldn’t stop trying to close. Finally, I did as the old man had suggested and put a chew in, dipped my finger into my mouth, and stuck it in my eye.”
Her face contorted. “Ouch. And gross.”
“Yeah, it burned like a mother-fucker, believe that. But I was wide awake for at least another couple of hours. When I started drifting off again, I’d put in another chew and do it again.”
“Now that’s commitment,” Jayson said.
“It is,” Emily agreed. “You here to bring me a can of chew? Because I’m committed, but I don’t think I can handle the taste of chew, much less the feel of it in my eye.”
“You could handle it, but I wouldn’t want you to. I, however, can go at least another day before I crash, and I will, if it’s necessary. But you have a different battle, baby. You have court tomorrow and you need your rest.”
She started to argue, but I interrupted by telling Jayson to get out of here. He cast her the briefest of glances before scurrying out the door.
It closed behind him, and Emily muttered, “Traitor.”
“Don’t be salty,” I said, taking her laptop and setting it on my desk. “He cares about you. We all do.”
“Then you’d let me stay busy, so I don’t think about her and what she’s got to be going through,” Emily replied.
“Trust me, sweetheart. I know what you need.”
Before she could argue, I scooped her off the couch and carried her upstairs and into our room. It was strange how quickly my mind had converted my personal space to our room, but I couldn’t deny that Emily belonged there. That I wanted her there.
“Get ready for bed,” I said, setting her down.
“I’m not going to be able to sleep,” she replied.
“Trust me, Em. You need sleep and I’m going to get you there.”
She must have been truly exhausted, because she didn’t even argue, but slipped into the restroom and washed up before joining me back in the bedroom. I stripped off her clothing and laid her in bed, crawling in naked beside her. She was stiff as a board and I could almost see the wheels in her mind spinning. I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.
“We can’t have sex,” she said, rolling on her side to face away from me.
“Why the fuck not?” I asked.
“Because I would feel like shit enjoying myself while Grandma is out there with kidnappers, probably hurt, waiting for us to find her.”
“I get that.” I scooted closer until we were spooning, and then wrapped my arms around her. “But I also get you, baby. You’ve been handling this all and I know you’re a mess inside, and you need to deal with your emotions, so you can rest and start fresh tomorrow.”
“And how the hell do you propose I deal with my emotions, Dr. Lincoln?” she sassed.
“Anger’s a good start.” I grabbed my discarded T-shirt and folded it into a long strip. “You’re so strong. You carry all this shit around and handle it by yourself because you’re used to being the boss, but you don’t have to do that anymore. Not with me. Not in my bed.” I slipped the folded shirt over her eyes and tied it at the back of her head.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m taking over.” I gently rolled her onto her back. “You don’t have to be strong right now, Em. You don’t get to be in charge. You can be needy or upset or whatever the fuck you need to be. I got you. I’m not gonna let anyone see or hurt you. I’m going to take control from you, wear you down, and knock your ass out so you can get some sleep.”
“Think you can do all that, huh?” she asked.
I got out another shirt and tied her to my headboard.
“I know I can. You don’t get to feel guilty about this, because you have no control over what I do to you. It’s on me, baby, so you might as well lay back and enjoy it.”
