And that’s something that Brooks is no longer willing or able to give me. I can’t do one without the other.
Not with Brooks.
So I don’t regret putting my foot down when he came here later that night and telling him that he didn’t get to do that again.
But then I remember how it felt when he covered my tattoo with his hand and pounded into me harder, somaybeI could let him do it again.
I blow out a breath, frustrated with myself.
“Go on your walk, Jules. Get fresh air, then take your book somewhere that isn’t in this building and relax for the day.”
Actually, that sounds nice.
I don’t want to have to come back here at all, so I grab a bigger handbag to sling across my body and slide my book inside, along with all of the essentials. Once I’m dressed, I lock the door, checking it three times, and descend the stairs. I pop into the restaurant to grab some breakfast and a snack for later, stowing those in my bag, too, before I head off.
It’s good that I made myself get up and out of that stuffy apartment.
It’s cooler today, so I’m in jeans and a sweatshirt, and I take my time on my walk. I don’t have to rush to get back to start work.
I can meander. Soak everything in.
I always avoid the street I grew up on, and I do that again today. I don’t want to see that house. Some of my worst memories live there, and I don’t want to relive them on a daily basis. Hell, I don’t want to remember them at all.
But I do walk in front of the big house that I love. Someone has been fixing it up. There are hanging baskets of flowers that give it some color. I can tell that the porch has been repaired recently.
I never manage to see the owners outside, but that’s okay. I probably don’t want to know who lives there.
Just as I’m past the house and about to turn the corner, my phone pings with a text from Harper.
Harper: Good morning! Any chance you have cinnamon rolls at the restaurant this morning? I’m just leaving the hospital, and they sound so good.
I laugh and call my friend. She answers on the first ring.
“Give me the good news,” she says.
“Unfortunately, no cinnamon rolls today. Sorry, friend.”
“Well, damn. This baby is craving them.”
I smile and then decide I probablycouldgo back and make her some.
“You know, I’m not working today, but I can go in and make you a pan, if you want.”
“What? Oh, absolutelynot.Are you sick? Are you okay?”
“I’m … not sick.”
She’s quiet for a second. “But you’re not okay?”
I blow out a breath of frustration. “I’m … I don’t know, Harper. It’s just been one of those weeks.”
“Where are you? I’m coming to get you. Ava will meet us at my house, and we’ll eat something delicious and talk.”
Holy shit, that sounds amazing.
“Harper, you’re just getting off work, and you need to rest.”
“Do you go to sleep the second you get off work? Of course not. I’ll be up for a few hours at least. Seriously, come hang with me for a while since you’re not working today.”
