How long has she had it?
Is she okay after what I just did to her?
I have her number, but I don’t want to just text her. I don’t think she’d take a call from me. So I pull on some clean workout shorts and a T-shirt, then grab my keys and drive over to her place. She’s just approaching the stairs when I pull up, and she bites her lower lip, frowns, and then climbs the steps, ignoring me.
You can’t ignore me, baby.
Without a word, I follow her upstairs. She unlocks both deadbolts, opens the door, and doesn’t bother to try to shut it in my face. I walk in behind her, close the door, and then we’re standing in her stuffy attic. Her back is to me, her hands on her hips.
“Ten years,” she says, finally breaking the silence. “I got the tattoo ten years ago.”
Five years after we broke up.
My already shattered heart cracks again.
“I assume that’s what you want to know,” she says as she turns to look at me. Her arms wrap around her middle, like she’s protecting herself from me.
“I was curious, yeah.”
She nibbles that lower lip.
“The food was great.”
Her eyes fill with tears.
“Fuck.”
Without asking permission, I close the gap between us, tug her against my chest, and wrap my arms around her.
“I hate how much you hate me,” she mutters against me. “I hate it so much. I don’t know how to change it. I don’t know what to say to anyone. I feel so fuckingalone.”
Just when I’m about to tell her that I don’t hate her, she shakes her head and backs out of my arms, wipes her face, and turns her back to me once more.
“I’m glad you liked the food.”
She’s back to that stiff politeness.
“Jules—”
“I needed those orgasms,” she admits with the shrug of one shoulder. “I know it’s nothing personal, but it was a good trade for the food. Won’t happen again, though, because I won’t fuck another man who hates me. Learned that lesson.”
I want to fuckingroar.
What does she mean by that?
“I need you to go now.”
“I’d like to talk to you.”
Juliet shakes her head and sighs so deeply, it’s as though she’s exhausted down to her soul.
“I don’t want to talk. I need you to go, Brooks.”
I stay rooted where I am, watching her. If I really hated her, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about her feelings.
Idocare.
“You being here hurts me.”
