“I didn’t want to read too much into it.”
“You need to read a hell of a lot more into it. Flora, I want you to live with me.”
The men are still moving around my kitchen and living room, but a guy knocks and asks if we’re ready for them to take the boxes in my room down to the truck. We step into the bathroom again, but we keep the door open.
“Pablo, that’s a massive step. Are we there yet? Maybe I can put my stuff in storage in New York and get somewhere furnished for a while.”
He observes me again before he nods his head. It’s just weird to think I might live with a man I don’t love. It seems premature, or at least out of order. To live together, then maybe—eventually—say I love you.
“Daddy, I’m not saying never. Let’s just get to New York in one piece, then we’ll decide.”
The way he looks at me makes me think there’s more he wants to say, but he’s holding back. He’s following my lead in this, and I appreciate it. But I also don’t think I like it as much as I tell myself I should.
“Chiquita, I know you’re giving up your job and your family to come to the States. You’re giving up your home and your friends. You’re giving up the plans you had.”
“I’m giving up time withMamá. I’m not excited about going long stretches without seeing her, but I don’t always see her weekly. It can be two or three weeks, even though we live in the same city. It’s just not months anymore like it was in college and grad school. I’ll missMamá’sparents, but I won’t miss my father’s.”
I want to vomit thinking about myabuelo. I’m sure there’s still a shit ton I don’t know—a shit ton I don’t want to know.
“Once you’re settled, maybe your mother would like to move up to New York.”
I consider what he’s saying. I said I don’t want to move in with him yet, but I want to eventually.
“Where wouldMamáfit into that?”
“Would you want her to live with you?”
“No. And when we live together, she’s definitely not going to be there either.”
Relief eases the strain around his eyes when he hears me acknowledge we’ll live together at some point.
“I never thought she would. But she could live near—us.”
He tests out “us,” and I nod. His body relaxes, even though I don’t think his stance changes. I can just tell. I don’t want to stress him out on top of how he’s worrying about my safety, but I want to look before I leap.
“That would be nice if she wants to move to New York, but I don’t think she ever will. She’ll visit, but I don’t think she’d give up her life here.”
“You have a career here.”
“No. I have a job. I always wanted to work in a lab. I became a pharmacist because it was somewhat parallel to what I planned, and the hours were convenient for whenMamáwas sick. I thought about going back to the States to work, butMamáasked me not to. I’ll miss friends, but it’s not like I hang out with them every night. I live in an apartment, which I like, and it’s home, but it’s not something I’m overly attached to. I was saving for a house before I moved back here. The more I think about it, the more I feel like my life is getting back on track by moving to New York.”
“TíaLuciana andTíaCatalina are in the real estate industry. They can help you with anything you need.”
“Thank you.”
The men carry down the last of my stuff before I lock my door. Then we’re on our way to my mother’s.
Chapter Twenty
Flora
“Mamá?”
“Hola, niña. Estoy en la sala. Ya voy.” Hi, little girl. I’m in the living room. I’ll be right there.
Mamá’salways called me that. Her greeting has nowhere near the same connotation as when Pablo calls me little girl. Thinking that makes my toes curl in my shoes.
My mom has a basket of folded laundry in her arms. Her smile drops the moment she sees Pablo with me. She marches forward, putting the basket on the entryway table. I reach to give her a hug, but when I move, it allows her to see the line of black SUVs outside the gate. There’s one in the driveway. I barely convinced the guard to let it in. Apparently, the Diaz men are very recognizable.
