“You’re mine, Flora.”
I gaze into his eyes, and I don’t know if I should read more into that.
“You’ve claimed my body.”
“Now I’ll claim your heart.”
His declaration surprises me, but it warms me from the inside out. My hands rested on his upper arms as he hugged me. Now I slide them up and wrap my arms around his neck. I observe him for a moment.
“Do I get more than your dick?”
“All that I can give you.”
It’s a veiled reminder that the Cartel will always get a part of him. More of him than I will.
He holds me in place as his thumb and forefinger lock around my chin.
“You will get more of me than the Cartel if you want it, Flora.”
“Are you a mind reader?”
He stares at me. I won’t get an answer aloud. The silent one tells me he’s learned to read people because of his work. That’s a part that belongs to the Cartel.
“You know the man I am, little one. It was never my choice. I do what I must. That won’t change, and I don’t want it to. I serve my family and the people who depend on us. But that’s not all of me anymore. Not now that I know you.”
“But I can’t compete with the Cartel.”
“You don’t have to. The part of me that belongs to the Cartel is the monster in me. It’s a part I never want near you. It’s the part I’ll never want to share with you.”
I nod as best I can. He’d say that to any woman he was with. It’s not because it’s me.
“Chica, there’s never been another woman. I’ve dated in the past—you’re likely to meet an ex-girlfriend because she married into the bratva. But I knew from the start it would never become something serious. I was in a fucked-up love quadrangle with an O’Rourke when we were in college. We dated the same women for the same reason they dated us. It was a power move. I had no emotional connection to either of them any more than they had to me or the O’Rourke jackass. I’ve never offered these parts of myself to someone else.”
“Do you know what I’m thinking because you were trained to read people?”
I guess I’m not leaving that alone after all.
“I can read you because it’s the same thing I’d wonder if I were in your shoes. It’s what I want to share. I don’t know how you’ll feel about me when this shitshow is over. Maybe this is Stockholm Syndrome for you. But I know what I feel for you is entirely different from anything in my past.”
He kidnapped me, but I went mostly willingly. He’s distracted me with sex, and I’ve given him control of more than just my body. It’s kept me from panicking. And I’ve enjoyed the fuck out of it. I trust him now, and I’ll pick him over just about anyone and anything.
Fucking hell.
It might be the fastest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever.
But I don’t think so. I think it’s far more than that. I think it’s fate. Sometimes you get lucky, and you just know you’ve met the right person. It could just be a close friendship in the making. Or it could be your soulmate. I won’t go so far as to believe Pablo is mine, but maybe he is. I want to find out.
“I don’t recognize these feelings either, Daddy. I’ve dated in the past. I’ve had some serious relationships, and I lived with a guy once. It lasted five years after college. But something held me back. When he proposed, ‘No’ flew out of my mouth before I gave it any thought. It just wasn’t right. Maybe it was because he wasn’t you.”
He grimaced when I said I lived with another guy and that he proposed. It tells him I’ve been in love before. His confessions tell me he’s never felt that for someone else. I think I loved the idea of being in love and of being loved more than I actually did my ex-boyfriend.
Maybe I had Daddy issues back then. But that’s not what I feel now. I haven’t been lonely like I was back then. I haven’t felt like I was missing out by not being in a relationship. Thinking about not being with Pablo feels like a gaping hole will open and consume my heart.
I draw my hand down his chest and slide my fingers under his shirt. They surround the button like aStar Trekgreeting. I rest my cheek against his chest; my bare chest pressed to his covered one.
“Daddy, it’s not Stockholm Syndrome.”
I won’t say it’s love because we don’t know each other well enough. But maybe it could be.
