I whisper it under my breath, testing how it feels: “Not broken.”
And Avelina looks across at me. I couldn’t have done any of this without her at my side, and she gives me her most beautiful smile—the one that tells me that all is well with the world.
Later, I’m alone in the office when Sofia scampers in, a juice box in her small hand. She stands in front of me, bouncing on her toes as if she has an announcement to make.
She tilts her small head to one side. “You’re very pretty, Viktor.”
I think she meanshandsome, but I’ll take it, and my chest puffs out a little. “Thanks, Sofia,” I say, having absolutely no idea that my pint-sized bestie is about to destroy me.
She grabs a cushion and the stuffed rhino and plops herself right down in front of me like she’s here to conduct official business. Her pink skirt poofs out around her, and her extremely fierce expression makes her look like she’s some kind of glittery mob boss. A boss who smells faintly of apple juice and crayons…
Sofia leans closer, eyes wide and serious. “Viktor,” she whispers, like we’re plotting a heist. “You need to marry Mama.”
I start coughing. Like I might be about to choke. My lungs forget how to work. “Uh…” I cough into my fist. “What?”
She nods solemnly, like I’m the slowest adult alive. “Marry her,” she repeats, “and then we can all live together, you’ll be my daddy, we’ll have pancakes every Sunday, and you and me will be besties forever.”
I swear my heart actually trips over itself. This kid is lethal without even knowing it. Of all the ambushes I might have to face in my life, a seven-year-old talking about a marriage proposal to her mom was definitely not on the list.
“And Mama likes you. She smiles lots when you’re around. Even when you’re grumpy. And you’re grumpya lot. Not with us. But youaregrumpy with your men.”
I wince.
She pats the floor beside her, so I sit down on the floor awkwardly. She offers me a drink from her juice box.
“Uh, I’m okay, thanks,” I mumble. I take a deep breath. “Your mama is my…soulmate.”
Her cute nose crinkles. “What’s a soulmate?”
I look toward the window and think hard about her question. “It’s when…someone’s heartbeat sounds right inside your chest. When their laugh fixes the cracks you didn’t know you had. When you’d walk through fire just to make sure they never cry alone.”
She listens carefully, her small face serious.
“A soulmate,” I continue, my voice softer now, “is someone who feels like home. Even when the whole world goes dark, they’re the light you keep walking toward.”
Sofia nods solemnly. “Then Mama’s lucky.”
My throat tightens. “No, little bird,” I whisper. “I’mthe lucky one.”
Then Sofia leans forward until her little nose almost bumps mine. “So, will you marry Mama?”
My throat goes tight.
Really tight.
Because it’s actually something I’ve been thinking about.A lot.I picture Avelina laughing, that beautiful sunshine smile of hers, her soft hair falling into her face, and the way she looks at her kids like they’re her whole world.
“Mama loves you. I love you too.”
My chest feels too tight. I want to ask Avelina to marry me. More than anything. But what if I mess everything up? What if my…differences make marriage difficult and life harder for Avelina and the kids?
“I…” My throat goes dry. I bend my head so we’re eye level. Because this is important. “Sofia, you know that sometimes I do things like you… I don’t like loud noises. Or too many changes. I get…stuck.What if that makes me no good as a husband? And no good as a dad?”
Sofia frowns. “You make me feel safe,” she declares in her solemn, little voice. “And you make Mama smile like she just got a million hugs.” She spreads her tiny arms wide to demonstrate. “And like she just saw a huge mountain of ice cream. Ice creamwith strawberry sauce and sprinkles.” She nods. “And that’s all that matters. Because Mama always says beingdifferentdoesn’t mean you’rebroken.”
My heart stops. Just… stops. The room tilts a little. And something breaks open inside me.
“I…” I clear my throat. “Asking someone to marry me is a very big question. But…it’s one I’d like to ask your mama. But you might just have to give me a little time. And it’ll be our secret for now.”
