Because for the first time in a long time, it feels like I have a real place to call home. To belong. To be wanted.
I want to thank him. To tell him what this all means to me. And to Sofia. But the words don’t come without the sting of tears, so I push them back until later and until I can find the right ones.
The vet arrives just before sundown as we all sit at the clinic anxiously waiting. How they managed to clean out the place is beyond me.
A sleek SUV pulls into the drive, trailed by another SUV with Viktor’s soldiers. The man who steps out looks more like a film star than a veterinarian with his perfect hair and expensive suit. But what I really notice is his calm expression and kind eyes.
Sofia clutches my hand and her stuffed cat as we sit in the waiting chairs before she stands beside Viktor as Dr. Rivers, New York’s top feline specialist, starts up the stairs into the building.
Dr. Rivers goes to shake Viktor’s hand, but Viktor keeps it in his pocket and merely nods. Dr. Rivers then looks at Sofia. “I heard you have a very special cat who needs some help.”
Sofia nods. “Yes. She needs help for her heart. Can you help her, please?”
Dr. Rivers gives a small smile. “I’ll try my very best.” Then he gestures for Queenie’s vet to lead the way. Viktor trails behind them without even being asked, leaving Sofia and me in the waiting room.
She sits back down beside me, and I try to distract her the best I can. Asking her questions, listening to her answers, making conversation, but it’s almost useless. Sofia’s too tense because things have become too much too fast.
It’s late by the time the surgery is complete, but I’ve let Sofia stay with us at the clinic. Viktor comes to tell us what Dr. Rivers said to him. Grigory has been pacing up and down, while Matvey has been tapping on his laptop nonstop, researching other possible treatments, surgeons, and options. Nikolai has taken to chain-smoking outside the clinic, coming in every five minutes to check if there’s an update yet.
Sofia jumps up as soon as she hears Viktor’s footsteps and dashes over to him.
“She’s stable,” he says to us all. “Dr. Rivers needs a few hours to monitor her response. They’re talking about treatment plans to put in place now. And she’ll need long-term follow-up care to monitor her heart function.”
“She’s not dying?” Sofia asks, and I can tell she’s on the verge of tears.
Viktor crouches down in front of her. “Not today. The vet seems hopeful that the surgery will be a success and that Queenie will have a near-normal lifespan.”
And those words mean the world to us all but especially to Sofia. And the little girl throws herself into his arms and gives him the biggest hug.
When the house is still and Sofia and Leon are tucked in bed, I find Viktor on the patio, sitting with his elbows on his knees, staring into the darkness of the sky.
Wrapping a blanket around my shoulders, I step outside.
He doesn’t look at me, but he knows I’m here.
“Sofia is finally asleep,” I say softly.
“Good.”
I drop down beside him, letting the silence stretch. It’s comfortable like it always has been between us. “You’re really moving heaven and earth for Sofia and Queenie,” I start.
He exhales, rubbing a hand down his face. “I don’t know what elseto do.” His voice is rough, strained. I can only imagine how hard this is on him as well.
My hand moves, palm up, waiting for him to take it if he needs it.
His head turns, and he looks at me. Really looks, like he’s afraid I’m going to vanish if he blinks. It’s a look he’s given me countless times, and yet each time, it makes my stomach turn into a swarm of butterflies. And each time, it makes my whole body feel warm and so right.
“I don’t know how to be this person—the one you deserve or need—without destroying everything else,” he murmurs.
“We don’t need you to be anyone butyou.”
“I’m not enough. I’m different, and?—”
“You’re always enough for me,” I say, cutting him off. I need him to know that. How he is completely enough. From the way he is and thinks to the actions he takes. He’s enough.Always. “You are not something broken to fix, Viktor. You are you, and I love that.”
I rest my hand against his shoulder. He doesn’t move away. And in the darkness, as the house behind us glows with faint lights, I feel something shift. The air has always been electric between us, but it’s more.
Something…soothing.
