It wasn’t Christmas Eve yet, but Crow not picking her up made her wonder if he had changed his mind.Not that she blamed him.The open road did sound inviting to some people.Not to her.She loved the warmth and comfort of her home.Where some people hated the mundane life of doing the same thing over and over, she loved it.She had a schedule, and sure, from time to time, it changed.Growing up in chaos, a life with order was a dream come true.
Her mother had been a giant pain for as long as Kelley could remember.There was rarely any food.Not that food was such a big deal, yet it was.People needed to eat, or at least children did.Even if her mother was getting food from the men she was having sex with, she always forgot her daughter.Much to her shame, she had dumpster-dived for food.Until she was able to get a job and supply her own food, she had lived the best she could.Sure, there were times her mother pretended to care.It depended on the man she was with.Rarely did they want to see a caring mother.
But it did happen—just never for long.Once they had gotten what they wanted from her mother, she’d always turn on Kelley.Kelley was always the reason something didn’t turn out great.
“You know, I thought you loved Christmastime,” Willow said, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“I do,” Kelley said, shaking her head, and hoping to keep those memories firmly in the past.They did not have a place right now.
They could fucking suck it.
“You could have fooled me, with that frown,” Willow said, putting a hand on her hip.
“You’re a little early,” Kelley said.“I’ve still got an hour until my shift ends.”
“I know, but I wanted to get some groceries.Whatever I don’t have come Christmas Eve, we’re doing without.”
Kelley laughed.“I get that, but for those that love to come out on Christmas Eve, I get to keep my job.”
“Fair enough.Just like I love Christmas Eve, because of taking over my father’s bar, it’s good for business.Although not this year.We’re keeping things pretty low-key.The guys want to have a little fun at the clubhouse, and you know everything else that comes with it.”
Kelley smiled.She liked Willow.She was a nice woman.
“Right, I will let you get back to work, and I’ll be waiting in the car, if I can get my shopping done within the hour.”Willow held up a long list.“There are a lot of things the guys want.”
The next hour flew by, and Kelley saw that Willow still had some shopping to do, so she went to her and made her way down the list.This was more than a quick shop.After they bought everything, they got through the cash register easily enough, and then they were loading up Willow’s car, and she wondered if everything would fit.
After they were able to manage it, Kelley climbed into the front passenger seat, with Willow getting behind the wheel.She knew she should learn to drive, but it just seemed an unnecessary expense, when she was quite happy to walk everywhere she needed to go.
“So, how is everything?”Willow asked.
“It’s good.In fact, it’s great.”
“And how is it having Crow around?”
Kelley smiled.
“Your silence is not exactly encouraging,” Willow said.
“Oh, I love having Crow around.I love him being home, it’s ...amazing.”She looked down at her clasped hands.
She hadn’t made any close friends.The closest friend she did have was Crow, and he came and went.
“I’ve been in love with him for a long time, and I know in a couple of weeks, he’s going to leave.There’s no way I can compete with the open road,” Kelley said.“I’m not quiet, like the open road.I don’t offer what it offers.”She chanced a look back to the other woman.“I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine.I get it.”
“I don’t want him to go, but I don’t want him to stay because of me.I’m not making any sense ...I just ...I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.I love him, and I am happy to wait for him.Does that make me sound like a coward?”she asked.
“I don’t think it makes you sound like a coward at all.Maybe you need to tell him you love him.”
“I don’t want to do that.What if ...it makes him stay and then he regrets it and then hates me for making him stay?”
“Kelley, I don’t think you and I are ever going to be able to make our men do something they don’t want to do.They are going to live their lives the way they want.”Willow pulled up outside her home, and Kelley looked at it.
The open road was not for her.But she loved Crow.
“Trust me on this, you mean more to Crow than you realize.”
