“We’re not going anywhere, honey. This place will always be your home.”
“But, what if I moved away and everything changed?”
“I’m sure some things would change. A huge part of your life would, but, if being around Audrey’s family is making you worry our relationships would change, you don’t need to. We’re not the Sinclairs and you spreading your wings isn’t going to turn us into them.” She put her bagel down and turned to face Hallie. “All I’ve ever wanted for the four of you is for you to be happy. Whatever that looks like for each of you has always been enough. And, if your happiness is pulling you to LA, that’s okay. The worst thing you can do is ignore the best parts of life.”
“You regret the shots you didn’t take,” she murmured, echoing Zora’s words to Audrey.
“Wise words. Ones to live by. I’m sure Audrey could tell you that better than most people.”
Hallie smiled, thinking of Audrey and how perfect being around her felt. “She already did.”
Her mom smiled. “Wise woman.”
“Yeah…” She gulped her coffee. Nothing had ever felt simultaneously so easy and so complicated all at the same time. “It’s too early for me to be moving, but I can’t imagine life without her. I don’t know what happens if I walk away and I don’t want to find out.”
“You really can just know there’s something worth trying for.”
“Apparently. But I can’t ask her to move back here. It’s too complicated for her.”
“Maybe it is now, but, give it a year, and you never know where the two of you might be. You’re both still so young. You have the time to figure it out.”
She was right, of course. Sure, they weren’t kids anymore, but they were young enough. When this whole thing had started, it felt impossible because Audrey had valid, real reasons for why the distance wouldn’t work for her. But they were figuring it out together. The more their relationship developed, the more things became possible. Who was to say what would become possible in the future?
“You wouldn’t hate me if I eventually moved away?” she asked, picking her bagel up in a bid to seem nonchalant. She didn’t really think her mom would hate her, but something about the way Audrey’s family abandoned her had been playing on her mind for so long now that she just needed to check.
Maybe it was more a check that, if she brought Audrey completely into her life, she wouldn’t be introducing her to another complicated family dynamic.
But, when her mom smiled knowingly at her, Hallie knew she had nothing to worry about. “Not at all. I’d be glad of the excuse to visit, and I’d be glad you found happiness. No matterwhere you two end up, your family will always be here to love you.”
Hallie nodded, chewing her bagel. She did know that, always had. She was simply trying to figure out the most important thing that had ever come into her life, the one with the possibility of turning her world upside down, and, when she was doing that, she needed a little reassurance. She was grateful to her mom for giving it to her with the endless patience she’d always had for the four of them.
They finished their bagels in silence, Hallie’s eyes watching the flicker of Christmas lights through the tree in the other room. She’d turned it on when the morning was still dark. She loved paying attention to it, remembering being at the farm with Audrey. She wanted to know what it was like to come back here with her every year, to go to that Christmas tree farm and pick out a tree with her family. She wanted to rewrite Audrey’s understanding of Christmas in Michigan, to rebuild her enjoyment of the season and fill it with home-baked goodies, family movie nights, and cinnamon rolls before tree picking.
Audrey had so much to offer, most of which she didn’t even realize, but Hallie did too, and she loved the idea of the life they could build together.
When she’d finished her coffee, she smirked and nudged her mom. “Well, I’m going to have to stick around for a while at least. Got to see what’s going on with you and Dirk.”
Her mom snorted. “You absolutely do not need to be poking your nose into that.”
“Why not? I’m happy for you!”
“Because you’re my kid and it’s weird.”
Hallie laughed. “Our whole family is weird, it’s our thing. What’s one more oddity?”
“In this case, relevant. I can be invested in your relationship with Audrey, but I absolutely do not need you pulling the same thing in reverse.”
“Well, okay, but I’m definitely going to tell Audrey about this whole thing.”
“You do that,” she said loftily.
“And Wes, Isaac, and Luca.”
“Whatever makes you happy. Honestly, I wouldn’t expect anything else from you kids.”
Hallie laughed. That tracked. The four of them had always loved to talk. Their mom had been glad of it—encouraged it even. Hallie was pretty sure it was a massive factor in why all of them were so close, and why they were all so readily able to discuss their feelings. So, it wasn’t surprising that their mom was used to it. She’d done a damn good job with the four of them, even all alone. Hallie was glad she’d finally found someone who’d care for her the way she’d always cared for them.
“Does it feel like the best parts of life?” she asked her mom genuinely, thinking of her earlier comment.
