“We didn’t have sex, you know?” Hallie wasn’t sure why she needed to clarify that. Probably something about wanting Zora to know she wasn’t just looking for a quick fling, that she wasn’t using Audrey for sex.
“I didn’t think you did. I just think you’ve been… emotionally fucking for the last few days and she deserves better than waking up alone.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It definitely is.” She laughed one more time, not allowing arguments. “Have a good day, Hallie!”
“Yeah, bye, Zora.”
Well, none of that had been quite what she’d been expecting but that was okay.
She shook her head as she squeezed back through the door without opening it too far, and her heart soared at the sight of Audrey still fast asleep and snuggled up in her bed. She put Audrey’s phone face down where it had been and climbed back into the deliciously warm bed. She’d already been hoping Audrey would want to stay here until her flight home, but, as she watched her sleeping, her breaths slow, deep, and soft, every atom in her body ached with the hope that she would.
Chapter Eighteen
Audrey jolted awake. Most of her night had been surprisingly peaceful, but, right before she’d woken up, her family had haunted her dreams, angry and malicious.
Hallie reached out for her, her soft, soothing voice murmuring, “I’m here, you’re safe, it’s just us.”
She took in the room around her. Hallie’s childhood bedroom. Not Audrey’s room at the cabin. Hallie was beside her. Everything was fine—well, it wasn’t, but, for the time being, she was safe.
Her heart still hammering restlessly in her chest, she sank back into the pillows. As her fingers automatically tapped her thumbs, she winced. Blisters, raw skin. It wasn’t the first time but it had been a minute.
A year, probably.
Hallie’s eyes narrowed. “Are you okay?”
Audrey nodded. Her family was a huge part of why she didn’t date, but there was this part too. The waking from nightmares about them, of knowing whoever was waking upnext to her wouldn’t want to talk about them again, wouldn’t want to deal with the way they corrupted everything, even if they weren’t around.
“Here,” Hallie said softly, holding one hand out as she reached for the cream on the bedside table.
And there was that.
How did you explain to someone who didn’t experience it that you could cause yourself injuries simply by being unable to stop tapping, counting, scraping?
But Hallie didn’t seem to be looking for an explanation.
She sat cross-legged in front of Audrey and gently dabbed at her raw thumbs and fingertips. The cool cream and Hallie’s touch were a relief, even though Audrey was still embarrassed. She generally didn’t reveal this part to other people, not even Zora.
Her mind bounced around—her family, the need to go back there, the fact that she didn’t have her things here, the way she’d asked Hallie to stay with her last night, inappropriate though that was, and, as always, Legionnaire’s disease.
She frowned, looking at the top of Hallie’s head as she leaned over Audrey’s hands. She shouldn’t ask. She should be able to control the urge, live in the uncertainty. But everything hurt and something needed soothing, especially if she couldn’t tap her fingers right now.
She sucked in a breath. “Hey, Hallie?”
“Yes, Audrey?” she asked warmly.
“The bathroom I used last night, does it get used often?”
She hummed in surprise, considering. “Uh, yeah, pretty often. The four of us are in and out and use it when we’re here. Why?”
Audrey took a second to concentrate on the slow exhale of her breath. “It’s silly…”
“No, it’s not.”
“You don’t even know what it is.”
Hallie looked up at her, still holding one of Audrey’s hands. “I don’t need to. I know it’s on your mind and that makes it important, not silly.”
