Isaac looked like he wanted to correct Wes and point out that poly people absolutely could look at multiple people like they’d hung the moon, but he stopped himself when he realized it wasn’t actually the point of this conversation. “You should just ask her if she’s either single or available.”
“I will…” Hallie promised. She already knew she needed to, it was just tricky. “But not today. The last thing she needs right now is more complications.”
“Okay,” Wes grinned, stepping around her to finally go to the bathroom. “But you’re sitting next to her for movie night and it’s a romantic one…”
“Sit close,” Isaac said, laughing as he led Hallie back to the living room.
Hallie wasn’t sure if she wanted to thank her family for being so excited and supportive about Audrey or if she wanted to murder them. But, when she saw Audrey heading back from the kitchen holding a mug for herself and Hallie’s Christmas one, featuring a gingerbread man in a Santa hat holding a festive ‘H’, she was pretty sure she wanted to hug them all into oblivion.
She alsoreallywanted to buy another Christmas mug. This one with an ‘A’ on it…
“Thank you,” she said sweetly, bounding up to Audrey’s side. “You didn't need to do that.”
Audrey laughed weakly. “If we were keeping track of all the things we didn’t need to do, I don’t think I’d even be here right now.”
“That’s different.”
She shook her head. Her eyes were usually a light brown, but they looked deep and dark in the low lights. “It’s not. You didn’t need to do any of this. I’m grateful that you did, so, please let me do something tiny like bring you a drink.”
Hallie smiled up at her, head tilted to one side. “Okay. But hey, maybe try not to miss LA too much while we’re watching the movie. You know, as a trade.”
Audrey laughed and followed Hallie to one of the corners of the sofa. “This is the first time all week I haven’t been missing home. I think you’re good.”
Her soft, private comment sent shivers down Hallie’s back. LA was home for her, of course it was. She clearly liked Michigan when her family wasn’t involved, but her life was in LA. And that had to be okay.
The others joined them, finding spots on the massive, wrap-around sofa and strategically giving the two of them a little privacy. They were all being ridiculously obvious. Though, Hallie was too.
“Okay, ready?” Tracy asked once everyone was settled and the only remaining lights in the room came from the garland along the mantelpiece and the lights that Wes had strung up outside.
There was a chorus of agreement and Hallie wriggled back into the soft, comfortable sofa as her mom hit the play button.
She’d been wrong. There were now four copies ofThe Holidayat her mom’s house. Nobody could quite place where the additional copy had come from, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she was watching one of her favorite movies with her favorite people, and Audrey’s thigh was pressed into her own.
There was enough space that she could have moved down, could have prevented herself from making contact with Hallie. She was choosing to stay close.
Hallie pulled the knee furthest from Audrey up onto the couch, blocking the view of her family when she reached out to press the back of her hand against Audrey’s. Earlier, her hands had felt like ice. They still weren’t much better.
She grabbed the blanket that was lying next to them and held it up in question.
Audrey looked from the large screen to Hallie with a tiny smile and a nod.
Hallie’s insides wanted to burst out of her. Her mom and her brothers were right. Audrey was awesome. She belonged here. She fit right in and being around her was easier than breathing. Hallie would never get enough of her—listening to her talk about bugs or ancient languages, seeing the way her mind worked, snuggling up next to her while they watched a movie. And she couldn’t stop thanking a world full of gods she didn’t believe in for how safe Audrey clearly felt here. She was still composed and controlled, but she was relaxing in a way Hallie hadn’t seen from her all week.
It wasn’t fair they got so little time together.
Under the blanket, Hallie decided to push her luck and seek Audrey’s hand again. She registered the way Audrey stiffened, pressed her lips together, and sucked in a breath. And she wasveryaware of the resolute way Audrey was keeping her eyes on the screen. But, best of all, she felt the way Audrey unclenched her hands and let Hallie take one.
Hallie, too, stared up at the screen, pretending it didn’t feel like her whole world was shifting. She’d held Audrey’s hand before, but that was when she was in crisis. Now, they were relaxed, free, and she was just… touching the hand of a woman she was ridiculously interested in.
She’d noticed the way Audrey tensed if anyone in her family touched her, and, in the last few days, she’d been doing research about OCD. She was gathering that Audrey’s family feltcontaminated and, if they touched her, she had rituals to deal with that, things shehadto do in order to function. But she wasn’t doing them with Hallie. She was glad of that and she knew, while she couldn’t cure Audrey’s OCD, she’d do whatever she could to remain a safe person for her, no matter what happened between them.
Still under the blanket, she placed Audrey’s hand palm up on her thigh, running two of her own fingers over Audrey’s skin. Something was wrong with her fingertips, Hallie could feel it. They were raw, dry, and hot compared to the rest of her hand. When she reached the pad of Audrey’s thumb, she was certain she felt a small blister.
Her heart ached for Audrey but she showed no sign that she’d detected anything wrong. Audrey would know already. Pointing it out wasn’t helpful and would likely only make things worse. She didn’t have a choice in the compulsion, even when it hurt her. Hallie would wager that Audrey’s mind probably felt like the physical pain was better than the mental pain that came with not carrying it out.
It did highlight, however, how much worse her OCD must be around her family. If she tormented her thumbs this much every day, they’d have grown accustomed to it. They’d have calloused over.
Hallie wasn’t sure she’d ever really hated someone she’d known in real life before, but she hated the Sinclairs. Not River, though she needed to get out of that family too. Nothing good came from being around them. Audrey’s injured, blistered hands were proof of that.
