You are not the girl in the dress they picked out for you. You are not the lipstick they wipe away at the end of the night. You are not the tip on the tray or the song in the background.
You are the fire.
And fires don’t beg to be remembered.
They leave smoke in lungs and ash on tongues and scars that never really fade.
So tomorrow, when you put on your shoes and walk into that office and tell them you’re ready to go where you’re needed — remember this.
You don’t owe anyone your body.
You don’t owe anyone your forgiveness.
And you sure as hell don’t owe him your heart.
You survived before him.
You’ll survive after.
So burn, baby.
Burn until you forget the taste of his name.
I set the pen down and stare at the paper, at the ink bleeding slightly into the cheap notebook lines, holding everything I couldn’t say out loud.
Maybe it’s enough.
Maybe it isn’t.
My hands still shake.
But I feel steadier than I have in days.
Because for the first time in a long time, I’m not waiting for someone to save me.
This time, I’m saving myself.
And maybe — just maybe — that’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
Chapter
Ten
Dax
Idon’t sleep.
I can’t remember the last time I actually slept. When I close my eyes, I hear screaming; I see blood; I feel bones cracking beneath my boots and smell iron thick in my lungs, betrayal bleeding hot in my chest like shrapnel that never fucking came out. Sleep doesn’t bring peace anymore — it’s war without mercy. No uniform. No weapon. Just ghosts.
And now, when I close my eyes… I see her.
The butterfly I fucking broke.
The softness I touched with hands that were never clean.
I see her mouth shaking with anger, see her eyes wet — not with weakness, but with whatever goddamn ache I planted inside her and then walked away from as though I didn’t want to rip my own skin off for doing it. I see the way she looked at me — like maybe I was more than the things I’ve done, like maybe I was something human, something worth wanting.
And then I opened my fucking mouth and reminded her exactly what kind of monster she’d kissed.
