After the firstnight I sleep over, it’s far too easy to keep doing it. Someone needs to keep an eye on Cooper during the day—at least that’s how I rationalise it—so why not let it be me?
I do go back to the annexe to work on my book, and IpretendI have every intention of sleeping in my own bed, but we both know I won’t. As soon as Pete’s headlights illuminate the night, I’m all too fucking eager to shut down my laptop and meet him at his front door.
We eat together, sleep together, take Cooper on all the walks we can squeeze in, and have more sex over the next few days than I’ve had in the last year. The days pass quicker than I’m prepared for, and when Friday rolls around again, it comes as such a shock that I have to check the date on my phone twice before it sinks in.
December nineteenth.
How is it less than a week before Christmas?
I glance over at Pete, fast asleep beside me, and then down at the foot of the bed where Cooper has crept during the night. And how the fuck am I supposed to go home and not wake up to this every morning? I scrub my hands over my face, swallowing the heavy, resigned sigh threatening to escape.
I’ve only got myself to blame.
I know that.
Doesn’t make it any easier.
A warm hand finds my hip under the quilt. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I glance over at him.
Pete’s soft, sleepy smile makes my ribs feel tight, my chest contracting to the point it hurts to look at him. But I can’t look away either. Need to get my fill while I still can.
I also need to snap out of this mood, because there’s no way I’m being a miserable arse on our last day together.
Even if I’m all twisted up inside.
“You okay?” He shuffles closer, hand sliding around to rest on the small of my back. His eyes fall closed again, like it’s an effort to keep them open.
It’s still early, so I don’t blame him. I’d go back to sleep if I could and pretend today wasn’t happening. “Yeah,” I manage, hoping he attributes the gravel in my voice to being half-asleep still.
His hand starts a slow, soothing circle on my back, and I can’t keep the sigh in this time.
“I was thinking,” he says, eyes still closed. “I’ve got to work tomorrow, but did you want to go to the pub for dinner after? We could meet with Sean and Vic. Maybe Jerry and Reed too.” He yawns, jaw cracking, like my fucking heart. But he’s not finished. “We can take Cooper so he’s not on his own all night.”
I have to swallow twice past the sudden lump in my throat. “All that sounds wonderful, but I won’t be here tomorrow night.”
I watch his face, see his brow crease in confusion as it takes a second for my words to register. Then his eyes snap open, realisation a heavy weight in his pained gaze. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” What else is there to say?
Fully awake now, Pete props himself up on his elbow and looks down at me. “You could stay longer, if you wanted?” Hope lights up his face now, and I hate that I’m about to crush it.
“I can’t.” With the last three weeks spent writing my book and with Pete, I haven’t bought a single present. I’m so behind with everything, even for me. “I’ve still got all my Christmas shopping to do.” Yes, I could do it online, but I’ve left it too lateto trust delivery dates. “I’ve also got my work’s Christmas do that I can’t miss, and a night out with Seb and some of our other friends that we arranged months ago.”
I’d give it all up to wipe the defeated look off Pete’s face, but the reality is that I’ve got to go home at some point. That’s never going to change.
“Okay.” Pete rallies and pulls me close until our bodies are flush. “Then we’d better make the most of today then.” His kiss is achingly soft, and I sink into it greedily, pushing everything else to the farthest corners of my mind. He’s right, we have a whole day together and I’m not about to waste a single second.
We fuck as the sun slowly lightens the sky.
Every touch and kiss saying what we can’t with words.
After breakfast, we walk Cooper along the fields at the back of Pete’s house. It’s cold and frosty, but my borrowed gloves and coat keep me toasty warm. I hope he realises he’s not getting that coat back. I’m keeping it along with the gloves I took last year.
As much as I want to spend all of our last day together, there’s no way he can stay home. The Christmas tree farm is busier than ever, and sooner than I’d like, he has to go.
Cooper joins me on the sofa, a routine we’ve perfected over the last few days. I stroke his head, marvelling at how far he’s come in such a short time. As yet, no one’s claimed him, despite Jerry’s inquiries. I really hope no one does either.
