The pub is as lively as you’d expect for New Year’s Eve, but I’m finding it hard to get into the spirit of it without Reed here. Especially with how we left things.
“Traffic,” I mutter. “Accident on the motorway, I think.” I stare into my pint like it holds all the answers. “I should never have said that to him as he was leaving.” Five days later, and I’m still not sure why I thought it was a good idea.
“I don’t know,” Vic muses. “It gave him time and space to think about it all without being here.”
“I guess.”
Sean nudges me. “Have you heard from him while he’s been gone?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “We’ve texted all the time, just like we always do. We just haven’t talked about...that.” I slump back in my chair with a sigh. “He’s got weeks before he needs to think about moving out. Why did I have to say all that now?” I look to Sean for answers because I need someone to make it make sense.
And bless him, he doesn’t disappoint. “Because it’s how you felt. How youfeel.” He meets my gaze, pinning me in place. “Can you honestly tell me that you could’ve kept quiet for the next few weeks while he looks for somewhere else to live?”
“No, probably not.” I bury my face in my hands and groan before sitting upright. “But what if he says no?”
“Then he says no, and you talk about what that means going forward. Just because he’s not ready to live with you right now, doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same as you do.”
“Yeah, I know.” I take a drink, letting the cool liquid ease some of the tension inside me.
“Maybe,” Sean says, voice soft but firm. “You should’ve told Reed how you feel about him before asking him to make a decision about the rest of his life.”
I stare at him, suddenly feeling like a giant arsehole. Because of course I fucking should’ve. “Oh my god.” My face meets my hands for the second time tonight. “I’m such a fucking idiot. I just...” I shake my head. “I thought he knew.”
“He won’t know anything unless you tell him.” Sean pats me on the shoulder, but his words sink in deep and they’re all I can focus on for the next couple of hours as I watch the door.
It’s almostnine o’clock when I look up and fucking finally see the door open and Reed appear on the other side. I’m up and out of my chair before it’s even closed behind him.
“Hey.” I hesitate, not sure where we stand, when all I want is to draw him in for a hug.
Reed stops too, and we sort of stand there looking at each while surrounded by a pub full of revellers. “I’m so sorry I’mlate,” he says, moving a little closer. “Traffic was horrendous, and then I had to nip home for a quick shower.”
I smile at how he calls ithome. I want him to feel that way, so, so badly. “I’m just glad you got here in one piece.” Only a few inches separate us andfuck it, I can’t stand here and not touch him after days of being apart. But I need to know where he stands too. I glance up and my smile widens at the perfect opportunity handed to me.
“Rules are rules,” I say and point above our heads. I hold my breath as Reed looks up and sees the mistletoe hanging there. It seems like years pass before he slowly smiles and reaches for my hand.
“Yes they are.” We meet in the middle, the pub and everything in it fading into the background as we kiss.
It’s like coming home, as ridiculous and cheesy as that sounds, the second his lips touch mine, I relax. I wrap my arms around him, loving the feel of him pressed against me, and it’s only the loud whistling coming from the table next to us that reminds me we are absolutely not alone.
We both jump apart, laughing, and I just know where that fucking whistle came from. Not that I give a shit, because Reed is smiling at me like I’m the best thing he’s seen in days, and the words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t tell him in the middle of a packed pub, so I go with something else that’s equally true. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
His eyes are the colour of the ocean as they meet mine, and I know then that it might not be the right place or time, but I can’t wait another second before telling him how I feel. I won’t be able to get through the rest of the evening with the words desperate to come out. “Come outside with me a sec? There’s something I want to tell you.”
His expression turns wary, but he nods anyway. I wave to Sean, telling him we’re just nipping outside, and he gives me an encouraging smile in return.
It’s fucking freezing outside. Reed still has his big coat on, but in my rush to get him outside, I forgot to pick mine up. I tug him around the side of the pub so we’re a little sheltered from the biting wind. The outside fairy lights sparkle around us, giving the corner I’ve dragged us into a little bit of magic that gives me butterflies. It’s a sign, it’s got to be.
I back up against the wall, pulling Reed against me, and he laughs.
“You’re just using me as a windbreak, aren’t you?”
I grin back at him. “Maybe.”
He snuggles closer, kissing the tip of my nose. “What did you want to tell me?”
I take a deep breath.
