“I know all that, but . . .”
“But what?”
I shrug, not exactly sure how to put it into words. “I guess I don’t want anything I say to alter your opinion of Reed.”
His eyes widen, curiosity evident. “Now you definitely have to tell me. And of course it won’t,” he adds quickly when I glare at him. “I can be both of your friends and still be here for you to vent to.” He motions with his hands for me to start talking. “Spill.”
I hesitate, still unsure if this is breaking some sort of code, but fuck it, I need to talk to someone and there’s no one I trust more than Sean. So I tell him everything.
About our almost kisses.
About how the tension between us gets so thick sometimes, it’s like I can’t breathe.
About how I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to do more than kiss.
I hold out my hands. “It’s not even been a week yet. How am I supposed to get through the next few months without begging him to change his mind?”
Sean’s brow furrows. It’s his thinking face. Oh wait, no, it’s hisJerry, you are a fucking idiotface.
I groan. “Spit it out. I know you’re dying to tell me I’ve fucked up somehow.”
“No, but I am curious as to why you can’t just fuck each other?”
It’s my turn to frown. “Did you not listen to everything I said about ten minutes ago?”
“I did.”
“Then you heard me say that we both decided it’d be a bad idea to hook up while Reed’s living with me.” I give him my incredulousduh!look.
He waves me away like what I’ve said doesn’t count. “You’re allowed to change your minds, though.” He holds a finger up when I open my mouth. “Nope. Not finished.”
I sigh but gesture for him to carry on.
“You made that decision before you were in each other’s space all the time. I’m guessing the attraction between you isn’t one-sided?”
“No.” I’d have to be blind to miss the heated way Reed looks at me sometimes. I don’t think he notices half the time, because he doesn’t try and hide it.
“Well, maybe you both underestimated how hard it would be.” He sniggers like a twelve-year-old, and I’m clearly no better because I grin back at him and mutter, “So hard.” Christ we’re as bad as Pete.
“My point is, just because you decided to keep your dicks to yourselves doesn’t mean you have to stick to it. Nothing will happen if you decide that actually, you wouldn’t mind fucking Reed over the back of your sofa.”
He delivers that line as I’m swallowing a mouthful of beer, and I promptly choke, coughing up a storm until I’m red-faced. I point a finger at him. “You fucker.”
“Sorry.” He’s not. “But my point stands. You’re both adults. There’s literally no one stopping you from being together. Except the two of you.”
He makes it sound so simple.
But it can’t be, can it?
“What if it’s awkward afterwards? Reed’s only just moved in. I don’t want him to have to look for somewhere new if we can’t stand to be around each other. And that’s if he wants to go there with me. For all I know, he’s perfectly happy with things the way they are.”
Sean nods. “All valid concerns.” He rests his elbows on the table and lowers his voice as a group of people sit at the table next to us. “But Jerry, you are one of the nicest, laid-back people I know. I can’t imagine a scenario where you would ever make Reed feel awkward if you slept together. If he doesn’t want to, then fine, you’re going to have to find a way to deal with your attraction. But if he’s struggling with this the way you are, then as long as you’re both up front about what it is between you, then I don’t see a problem. Honesty and communication. Those are key to a friends-with-benefits situation.”
That raises my eyebrows. “Isn’t that what you and Vic were supposed to be?” And look how that turned out.
“Yep. But when our feelings changed, we talked about it. And...” He spreads his hands out in ata-dagesture. “Talk to him, Jer. It’s the only way to clear the air and know where you both stand. Because by the sounds of it, it’s already a little awkward.”
He’s not wrong.
