My stomach flutters as his smile widens because he’s looking back at me with the same expression.
I wait for it to hit.
One, two... there it is.
Panic.
I like Vic. I could like him a whole lot more, so fucking easily, but where is this going? I know it’s early days, and I’m probably jumping the gun, but I can’t go through that again.
I don’t want Vic to see how worried I am, so I carefully pull out and dispose of the condom. I grab my discarded T-shirt to clean us both up, then pull the quilt up and lie back down.
He’s rolled onto his side, so I do the same.
I know I’m doing a shit job at hiding my feelings because his brow furrows and he cups my jaw, thumb tracing back and forth over my cheek. “I don’t think you are okay,” he whispers. “Talk to me.”
Fuck. Sean. Way to ruin the mood.
But I wasn’t lying about needing honesty in a relationship. And whatever ours ends up looking like, I need to know I can trust Vic to tell me the truth. “I’m scared,” I admit. “I told myself I wouldn’t do this with you. I know I was wrong about some things,” I add when he opens his mouth. “But we still have the potential to hurt each other if we don’t do this right.”
He rolls onto his back with a deep sigh, and maybe that’s my answer. Maybe my need to set boundaries will make him run for the hills. But then his hand finds mine, fingers entwining before squeezing gently.
“I understand,” he says, still staring up at the ceiling. “But I’m not sure I have an answer for you.” He shrugs as he speaks.
I squeeze back. “Just be honest with me.”
He blows out a breath, his free hand tangling in his messy curls. “Okay.” Another deep breath in and out, like he’s taking his time to get the words right.
I like that.
“I was prepared to go the friends route, but...” He turns his head to look at me. “There’s something between us, some electric pull, that I can’t ignore. I don’twantto ignore it.” He tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth, indecision clear. “But I don’t know what that means. We don’t really know each other, and yet being with you feels easy, right?”
My heart stutters as his words echo my earlier thoughts, but I let him finish.
“We could be great together, or we might end up being better off as friends once the novelty wears off.”
I flinch and I know he feels it because his hold on my hand tightens.
“Why don’t we see where this goes? Spend time together, talk.” He rolls to face me again, gaze darkening as he meets my eyes. “And fuck.”
I feel a smile threatening to break out. “You mean date?”
He laughs. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.” His expression sobers. “We’ve barely started this. I don’t think we need to pile on the pressure of deciding if it’s going to be long-term or not. Sort of like friends with benefits, but maybe more than that?”
“So keep things casual?”
“Something like that.”
I roll the word around in my mind, see how it fits. It makes sense. We have a lot to catch up on. But casual or not, there’s one thing I can’t compromise on. “But exclusive, yes?”
He chuckles. “Not that there’s anyone else around here I’m remotely interested in, but yes. Exclusive.”
“Okay.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Okay? You could sound a little more enthusiastic.”
I lurch forward, swallowing his surprise as I kiss him thoroughly, one hand in his hair and a leg draped over his hips. “How’s that for enthusiasm?”
“Better.” He slides his hands around my back and hauls me all the way on top of him. “We’ll be okay, Sean. If we promise to keep talking, to be honest with each other, then hopefully we can come out of this with at least a friendship.”
