CHAPTER FIVE
Rachel was silent for most of the journey back, only speaking when asked a direct question.
No one commented on her ten minutes alone with Sara, and for that, she was incredibly grateful. It hurt too much to think about, let alone talk about. She wasn’t sure if seeing Sara again had made things worse or better.
Yes, it had been the best feeling ever to see her across the car park. Getting to talk to her again, kiss her, touch her. All of it had been wonderful, and for those couple of hours, she’d been happy. But now…? Now it hurt worse than before.
“Hey?” Jason nudged her gently, startling her. “You okay?”
Glancing over at him, she managed a small smile. “No, but I will be.” Although Cam and Daryl could hear them talking, neither appeared to be paying attention.
Jason seemed to hesitate, obviously wanting to say something but thought better of it.
Giving him a nudge in return, Rachel rolled her eyes. “Just ask.”
He bit his lip for a second, considering. “You’d never met Sara before the two of you…” He faltered and waved his hand about, cheeks colouring.
Rachel grinned. “Discovered our potential for bonding?” A smothered laugh from the front of the car made Jason blush more, but he smiled back at her.
“Yes, that.”
“No, not really. I knew her when we were young, but she’d been gone a long time.”
He frowned, head tilted to one side. “I know how bonds work, don’t get me wrong, but isn’t it strange to suddenly want someone that badly when you don’t really know them at all? What if you don’t get on? What if you bond and then find out you hate each other?” Before Rachel could begin to think of answers to any of his questions, he added, “Doesn’t it scare you to make that big of a commitment when you’re virtually strangers?”
Ahh, that one was easy to answer. “No. It doesn’t scare me.” Shrugging her shoulders, Rachel glanced out the window again, the landscape becoming more familiar as they neared the pack buildings. “Maybe it should? I don’t know.” She couldn’t help but place a hand over her heart. “I’m aware that Sara and I don’t know each other well, but…” She struggled to find the right words to explain it. “I have this feeling deep inside that tells me it’ll all be okay. Like on a base level, I know that she’s for me.”
“You mean your wolf knows it.”
“Yes, exactly. And I trust my instincts.” Warmth infused her from the inside out, and her smile grew. “We have this fierce connection drawing us together, and it’s wonderful. But being with Sara, getting to know everything about her, is something to look forward to, not fear. I can’t wait to find out what makes her laugh, cry, her favourite foods, dislikes.” Her smile was huge as she imagined it all. “I’m pretty sure we’ll have our disagreements along the way. We’re both pretty headstrong.” More smothered laughter from the front, and Rachel shot them a glare before turning back to Jason. “But we’ll do all that knowing deep down that we’re forever.”
He looked at her with an expression verging on awe. “It sounds amazing,” he said, voice soft.
“It is.” Her breath caught. “Or it will be, if…” Fuck, she couldn’t finish that sentence.
Cam turned around to face them and reached for Rachel’s hand. If he’d been the one laughing before, all trace of amusement was gone now. “Have faith.” He squeezed her fingers. “I’m going to do my damnedest to make this work for you two. And so is Alpha Cornell.”
Rachel smiled back at him despite the tears filling her eyes again. She blinked them back, determined to hold herself together. “I know. And thank you.”
“No need to thank me. You’re pack, and I will always fight for your best interests.”
Her father was a good alpha, and she loved him, but she’d been incredibly lucky to have been sent to a pack with an alpha like Cameron Harley. It made her love her father even more for choosing him.
SUNDAY WAS USUALLY a day off for the betas—so Rachel understood—but events of recent weeks had changed that. Today was no exception. Cam wanted to move quickly on sorting out the team-building stuff. Rachel didn’t blame him, but she felt drained from the day before, and the last thing she wanted to do was have a unit meeting now. But they had a beta meeting with Cam after lunch, and she wanted to check in with her team first.
Not surprisingly, Nathan and Jared were the first to arrive, as they always were these days. Rachel ushered them through to the living room. She had a good fifteen minutes before the meeting was due to start and figured now was as good a time as any to discuss a little of yesterday’s meeting with Nathan. In her efforts to mentor Nathan, Cam had agreed she could talk to him about Alpha Cornell’s suggestions.
“How did it go yesterday?” Nathan asked as soon as they were all sat down. “I know you probably can’t discuss most of it yet, but I meant with you and Sara.”
Jared sighed and sat forward, taking Nathan’s hand. “If you don’t mind us asking, that is.”
Looking slightly chagrined, Nathan offered her a smile. “Sorry. It’s probably none of my business. We were worried about you, that’s all.”
Rachel had told them about Sara when she’d taken over from Gareth. It was only natural they’d be curious. She glanced between them, the earnest expressions on both their faces loosening her tongue. “It was…” How to describe it? Whatever words she thought of all seemed inadequate. “Both the worst and best day. If that makes any sense?” She laughed, but Nathan nodded.
“It makes perfect sense. You don’t need to explain it to us. Bonds produce a complex mix of emotions, but it must be especially so for you. Knowing what you could have, but not being able to complete the bond to get it. I imagine seeing Sara yesterday was probably wonderful and heartbreaking.”
Rachel stared at him. Upon first meeting Nathan, she’d thought him hot-headed with a tendency to jump in feet first without thinking. She still thought that to some extent, but after spending time with him, she’d come to realise he had a side that people outside his unit rarely saw. At times like this, his understanding and compassion made it clear why Cam was so keen to make him a beta. If he could rein in his temper and impulsiveness, he’d do just fine.
