Tim swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. Nervous excitement threatened to bubble out any moment, but somehow he managed not to let it show.
This has the potential to go spectacularly wrong, but I can’t wait to get started.
Chapter Seven
Seb let his hands fall into his lap, unable to believe what he’d just agreed to.
The small happy smile that Tim was trying desperately to hide wasn’t helping either. He’d said his piece last weekend, and nothing had changed, really, but fuck it, Seb had missed him.
He’d spent the whole week going over that conversation in the car, wondering if he’d been too hasty. He liked Tim, and he knew Tim liked him back, so in theory a little friends-with-benefits action should have sounded appealing, but… Tim didn’t come across as the kind of guy who could handle a relationship like that.
Not that Seb knew him all that well, but he seemed like a nice guy. Despite Jared’s comments last weekend, Jared thought a lot of Tim, too, and Seb had caught the wistful looks Tim shot Nathan’s way when he thought no one was looking. He might say otherwise, but it was apparent Tim wanted a bond like the one Nathan had with Jared, and Seb couldn’t ever want that.
What was the point in leading him on? None. There was no point. But neither did he want anything to happen to Nathan. So there he sat, trying to sort out a commitment-free way to act as boyfriends while still fooling a pack of possibly dangerous shifters.
Not how I imagined spending my Saturday afternoon.
He appeared to have rendered Tim speechless, so he said, “Look, this was your idea, the least—”
“Never my idea.”
“But you think we should do it?”
“I think the best outcome is for you to stay here. But if that’s not an option, then yes, I think we should do it.” Tim stood, eyeing the space next to Seb with uncertainty before moving to sit next to him.
Their shoulders brushed. Tim felt warm and solid next to him, and it was an effort for Seb not to lean into it.
Tim reached out and took his hand. Seb froze for a second before allowing him to tangle their fingers.
Tim said softly, “I know this is the opposite of what you want. But I can’t handle the thought of you being so close to their pack territory, with no one there to keep an eye out for you.” He ran his thumb over the back of Seb’s hand, gently caressing each knuckle as he went. “Nathan can’t do it, for obvious reasons. But if there’s someone else other than me that you’d rather have, then say so. I—”
Tim glanced down at their joined hands for a moment, and Seb wondered how much saying that had cost him.
None of this was helping with his determination not to fall for him.Fuck. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tim looked up and met Seb’s gaze; beautiful blue eyes fixed on him, full of sincerity. Tim meant every word. He’d rather Seb say no to him and yes to someone else if it meant Seb was safe.
That more than anything made his mind up, and he squeezed Tim’s hand without thinking. “I don’t want anyone else.”Tim’s eyes widened, and the flash of hope in them hurt Seb’s heart because nothing had really changed. He added, “To be my pretend boyfriend.”
“Okay.”
The smile seemed genuine enough, but it didn’t reach Tim’s eyes. This was going to end up hurting one or both of them. They needed ground rules. “Jared told me it’s all about scents. That to be believable we need to smell like we’re fucking.”
“Um—” Tim coughed, looking surprised. “Well, that’s a lot of it, yes.”
“We’re not doing that, though. I don’t care how real your alpha wants it to be, I’m not budging on that.”
Seb had fucked shifters before, and the realisation that any one of them could have accidentally bitten him and possibly bonded them—for life—made his stomach churn. Why wasn’t that common knowledge, for fuck’s sake? Oh, but was it just…? “Is it only actual penetration that does it, or any type of sex?” Tim blushed, which, despite the seriousness of the conversation, made Seb laugh. “You’re a doctor. Shouldn’t you be used to this kind of talk?”
“I’m not normally having it with someone I’m—” He faltered. Seb gave his hand another squeeze and then let go, feeling oddly self-conscious. “—someone I’m interested in. Besides, I thought you’d vetoed the idea of any kind of sex. At all. I seem to remember you being quite clear about that.”
“So, we don’t actually have to…?” Seb gestured at his crotch and then at Tim’s.
“No. We don’t have to do it together.”
“Oh.” Seb had no right to feel disappointed, but for some reason he did. “Then how do we make ourselves smell right?”
Tim glanced at the ceiling and gave a small sigh. “The most effective way would be to masturbate and then smear the ejaculate into each other’s skin.”
