“Are you sure? She doesn’tlookespecially fine.”
Jennifer’s eyes flicked for half a second to Linda’s screen. “Not looking exactly fine is what she’s here for.”
“That seems cruel.”
“It’s a cruel business. You want to complain, complain to the viewers.”
“You know there’s not actually an award for needless cynicism?”
Glancing briefly away from the monitors, Jennifer smirked. “What do you think BAFTAs are?”
On the live feed, Audrey watched as Alanis wandered away from her station and back towards Linda. And the fact that Linda had barely started while other contestants were in the taking-a-break-to-talk-to-other-people stage did not bode well for her. Audrey was about to ask Jennifer for audio, so that she could hear what the two were saying to each other, but she only got as far as “Could we” before a squicky, intrusive feeling shut her down.
Jennifer, however, was thoroughly unsquickable and flicked over to their channel anyway. “Monitor the child and the flake, Colin,” she said into her headset. “And make sure it stays wholesome.”
And itwasincredibly wholesome, from the little Audrey managed to hear before she removed her headset out of a perhaps overzealous respect for Linda’s privacy. Alanis came in quiet and confident and supportive, and Linda looked at her with real gratitude when she said everything was going to be okay.
“Are you going to broadcast this?” Audrey asked.
“Of course. If it edits right, it’ll come out incredibly heartwarming.”
“Okay, but, is it not also a bit personal?”
Swivelling her chair around, Jennifer gave Audrey a flatly disappointed look. “They both know they’re on television. They both signed the exact same bits of paper you did.”
“Okay, but they’re stillpeople.”
Jennifer nodded. “And so is every other prick you’ve seen a meme about. It feels different now because you’ve met them.”
It would have been hypocritical for Audrey to disagree. Because while she wanted to believe that she was the kind of viewer who watched a reality television show with an eye to what was best for the mental health of the contestants, she strongly suspectedthat she, like a whole lot of other people, cared mostly about what made good drama. It just felt bad to say it out loud.
On the other hand, disagreeing seemed mandatory. “Okay, suppose you’re right. That doesn’t change the fact that Ihavemet them and so Idofeel differently. Like”—searching for inspiration, Audrey picked up the cold remains of the bacon roll from the desk in front of her—“I’ll happily eat this, but I’d probably hesitate to stab a pig in the neck.”
“And there’s me thinking you were a farm girl.”
“You know there are people in Shropshire who aren’t farmers?”
Instead of replying, Jennifer just said, “She’s moving; Colin, keep eyes on her.”
Looking up at the screen, Audrey saw Linda step away from her workstation and head out the doors. Feeling weirdly responsible for the whole situation, she stood up herself. “Should I…?”
Jennifer shrugged. “Can if you want to. Colin’s following her, but youmightdo a better job than him. Then again so would my grandmother.”
“And she’s been dead for six years?” added Audrey.
“Actually she’s a fully qualified workplace psychotherapist. Also, she’s completely hypothetical. Now go out there and stick your oar in.”
Audrey wasn’t especially fond of being told what to do, especially not in such dismissive terms, but she’d also finally got to the point where she was emotionally mature enough that she wouldn’t let being told to do something she wanted to do anyway put her off doing it. “Is this your way of looking after people?”
“It’s my way of saying, ‘I’ve given up trying to stop you so I might as well get something out of it.’ Go talk to Linda. If you want to tell her what a sinister mastermind I am for filming herwith the cameras I cleverly hid by disguising them as a film set, you can. Let me know when you’re done.”
Given that arguing with Jennifer Hallet could distract Audrey indefinitely, she just nodded her agreement and headed out.
Linda was sitting glumly on the sitting-down log and Audrey approached in the most definitely-haven’t-just-been-watching-your-emotional-crisis-on-screen way she could manage.
“Hi,” she tried.
Linda “Hi”ed back.
