Gunner was crowing about the money under his pillow, and sticking his tongue between the space where his tooth used to be as they were eating breakfast. She had the TVon in the other room and was listening to the news and weather when she heard the lead-in to the morning news, stopped what she was doing, and took her cup of coffee to the living room.
“…daring robbery of an armored van in front of the downtown bank in Amarillo yesterday. Four gunmen wearing motorcycle helmets, and driving a white van, opened fire on the guards. Two guards were killed. The driver and one other guard are in the hospital, recovering from multiple gunshot wounds. Less than an hour ago, three of the gunmen were arrested and the fourth one, who was shot during the robbery and dropped off at the hospital afterward, was instrumental in naming the others involved. We will be reporting on updates as they occur.”
Brenda went numb. She didn’t know whether to run now or wait for the other shoe to fall. Then Asher was behind her.
“Mom, we’re ready to go,” he said.
She turned, saw her sons with their ready smiles and backpacks, set her coffee cup down and kissed each one of them on the forehead, and went to get her purse and keys.
“Did you tell Daddy goodbye?” she asked.
“Daddy’s in the shower,” Asher said.
She nodded. “Then let’s go.”
They filed out the back door and into the car. Brenda waited for them all to buckle up and then drove away. There was already a line of cars and kids on the walkway and others going into the building when she pulled up.
“Love you all. Have the best day ever,” she said, and blew them all a kiss. They got out on the run and never looked back.
It was the final cut of the cord that bound her to them. She knew before the day was over that federal agents would be coming for her, and the swath of shame and humiliation she would be leaving for her family to suffer. And all for thesake of a fuck and a high.
* * *
Jacob had already opened the bar by the time she got back. She cleaned up the kitchen, then went up front as he was plugging in new kegs and refilling the coolers with his bestselling longnecks and cans. She stood for a few moments, staring at him, wondering what happened to her to make her forget how much she’d wanted him. What she’d done to get him.
He was a tall, broad-shouldered man with sharp, chiseled features and eyes that turned a little icy when he was angry, an emotion he rarely allowed to show up, and even then, it was never with them. Just the occasional unruly customer. All three of their sons were younger, smaller, versions of him.
And then Jacob looked up and caught her staring.
“Morning, honey; did the boys get off okay?” Jacob said.
“Yes. Gunner lost his first tooth in bed last night. He woke up bloody as hell, bawling because he’d swallowed it.”
Jacob grinned. “I’m sorry I missed all that.”
“He’s okay. I wrote an excuse note for the tooth fairy. He was crowing about his dollar this morning.”
Jacob winked. “You’re a good mama.”
She turned away before he could see the flash of her tears. “Not really,” she said.
He frowned, but before he could ask her what she meant, customers began coming in. The regulars who played dominoes at the two front tables, and the old cowboy who shot pool alone, so he didn’t ever have to say he lost a game. And in the process, he forgot about Brenda’s comment until two black SUVs pulled up in front of the Tumbleweed.
Four men entered the bar, flashed their badges, andasked to speak to Brenda Kingston.
Jacob’s heart skipped. “She’s my wife. What’s this all about?”
“Sir, we need to speak to her. Is she here?”
“Our home is attached to the bar. She’s back there. Follow me.”
Jacob’s heart was pounding as he walked them to the door, unlocked it, then walked inside with the federal agents right behind him.
* * *
Brenda had been outside when she saw the cars drive up and had raced back into the house. She’d been thinking all morning about what she’d done, and the one thing she couldn’t face was having her sons know that their mother was in prison. Her hands were shaking as she emptied the bottle of antidepressants into her hand—all thirty-two of them—and washed them down with a glass of water, then walked back into the living room and sat down to wait.
When she heard the key in the lock, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then began whispering the Lord’s Prayer in her head. She was right at the “yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” when Jacob spoke her name.
