“I didn’t know what book Asteria was talking about. No one ever told me about the missing grimoire, or I might have guessed,” I said, trying to keep the accusation out of my voice. This wasn’t the moment for pointing fingers. “But then Jess showed up, and because Asteria told me totrust her, I did. I sat down with her. I listened to her. I accepted her story as well as the book. Jess told me she was entrusted to deliver the book to me, specifically. I trusted that it was in my hands because it was supposed to be. And I don’t believe for a second that the rest of you wouldn’t have done the same.”
I could tell that my mother wanted to argue, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. I watched as she swallowed all her objections, as hard as it was to worry them down.
“I’ll admit that I didn’t ask her enough questions. I was so shocked by her arrival, and by the lure of the grimoire, that I didn’t remember what Asteria had said about the Source—not until Jess was long gone. I didn’t say anything because… because I thought there might be a reason that Asteria came to me instead of to one of you. It felt like a confidence—one that I wasn’t ready to break. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with that, but I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time.”
Again, it seemed no one could argue with me, no matter how inclined she was to do so. Persi looked particularly ready to explode, but every time she made to open her mouth, the words seemed to get lodged in the back of her throat; and I knew it was because she was wrestling with the fact that she would have kept the same secrets I had.
“Once you all started panicking about the book, I realized I never should have let Jess leave, but by then it was too late. You all agreed that we should try to track Jess down, and since that’s what I wanted too, I figured it was okay to keep my secret a little longer. After all, you wanted to keep the grimoire a secret from the Conclave, and that felt like a bigger deception than mine. I’ve been trying to communicate with Asteria since, and Xiomara’s been trying to help, but… I can’t get anything else out of her. She’s… confused. I thought I’d have more time to figure it all out, but now…” My eyes filled with tears, and I had to swallow hard in order to keep talking. “But now Jess is dead. She’s dead and I’m not sure if that’s my fault or not, but in a way it feels like it is, so I’m not keeping any more secrets.”
“Wren, you can’t blame?—”
“If the Conclave had known about Jess, maybe they could havehelped to track her down before this happened. Maybe they could have helped us to prevent it. All I know is that I’m tired of lying. I can barely remember what version of the truth I’ve told to who, and I don’t want to do it anymore. We need to tell the Conclave everything. We need to show them the grimoire, and everything that came with it. We need to tell them everything we’ve found out about Jess so they can track down her family. I’m sure they’d want to… to know…” I choked back another sob.
My mom, Rhi, and Persi all looked at each other, carrying on a silent conversation with their eyes.
“I don’t think we have a choice,” Rhi finally said. “I think Wren is right.”
Persi chewed the inside of her cheek, arms still crossed over her chest. She didn’t agree out loud, but she didn’t argue either. My mom was still looking stricken.
“Wren, I’m sorry you felt like you needed to carry that secret all summer,” she said, slinging an arm around my shoulders, and pulling me in closer for a hug. “You could have trusted me.”
“I know,” I said, and I meant it. “It wasn’t about not trusting you. It was about feeling like the message was for me, and that I needed to be the one to figure out what it meant. It felt like a… I don’t know, like a personal challenge or something. I wanted to prove to myself that I could master my spirit powers. But all I’ve done is make a mess of everything.”
“Wren, this isn’t your fault,” my mom murmured, stroking my hair away from my face and untangling a tendril from my glasses, which were so badly streaked with dirt from my tumble in the woods that I could barely see.
I couldn’t agree with that, and so instead I said, “It’s been isolating, starting from scratch while everyone around me has grown up honing their craft. I’m not blaming you, Mom,” I added quickly, because I could see my mother’s face beginning to crumple. “I understand why you did what you did, and I’m not mad at you, not anymore. But I can’t pretend that it hasn’t had an impact, and that playing catch up isn’t hard, because it is. But tonight at the Shadow Tree, I felt really and truly connected for the first time, not just to Sedgwick Cove, but to all theVespers who came before me. For the first time since I started my training, I felt like a link in a chain instead of just one person, groping around in the dark.”
A sniff from beside me betrayed the fact that Persi, who generally seemed to be allergic to sentiment of any kind, was holding back tears. Rhi reached out and put a hand on Persi’s shoulder, and Persi immediately slapped it away.
“I just need a tissue!” she hissed.
“Anyway,” I said, “it’s made me realize I don’t have to do this myself—that I shouldn’t do this myself. That grimoire, the Source, messages from Asteria, none of that belongs just to me; and even if they did, I need help. I need all the help I can get. That means you three, but it also means the Conclave, and anyone else we know we can trust. A woman is dead. We can’t keep secrets anymore.”
The three sisters didn’t need to say anything aloud to realize they were all in agreement. They simply traded a knowing look around the circle, and Persi sealed it with a grumbling, “Fine.” But then Rhi stood up suddenly, knocking her chair over and making us all jump.
“Okay, Wren is right. We can’t keep the grimoire a secret. We should have known we couldn’t. But that doesn’t mean we can’t protect it.”
“What are you suggesting, Rhi?” my mom asked. “Whatever it is, we have to hurry.” She had to yell the words at Rhi’s retreating back, however, because Rhi had already turned and run out of the room. We listened in silent confusion while she rummaged around and cursed under her breath in the library. Then she appeared again, panting slightly, and with her hands full. I tried to make sense of the items I saw—a long curling strip of birch bark, a candle and box of matches, a raven’s feather, and a length of green ribbon—but remained as confused as before. My mom, however, let out a soft “oh!” of comprehension, and Persi’s face broke into a slow-blooming smile of understanding.
“A Binding. An excellent idea, Rhi,” Persi said.
I wasn’t completely clueless. I’d learned about the various types of Bindings used in witchcraft—whether it was to Bind two people together, or to Bind a person or an object from doing harm. But Iwas definitely still unclear on what exactly was happening as Rhi returned to the table. My mom spotted the look on my face, and took pity on me.
“Our biggest worry,” she explained, “is that Ostara will convince the rest of the Conclave that the book isn’t safe. They would never be allowed to destroy a coven’s grimoire, but they could vote to lock it away or otherwise prevent us from using it, at least in the short term, while it’s being examined.”
“Would the Binding prevent them from using it?” I asked.
“No, it would Bind our coven to the book, so that we can’t lose it again,” she said.
“But… why didn’t we just do that the first time? Then it never could have become lost,” I asked.
“Ah, but you forget, our coven lost the book on purpose,” my mom said. “They were trying to keep it concealed. Binding us all to it would have made it discoverable.”
“You realize Ostara is going to expect this, right?” Persi said, her wicked smile fading. “It’s going to be the first thing she checks for.”
Rhi’s smile only grew broader at these words. “Persi, sometimes the only conclusion I can draw is that you think your big sister is an imbecile.”
Persi’s mouth fell open. “I didn’t say?—”
