They know.
They saw me fall apart.
They heard the harrowing recount.
“I’m gonna walk.”
“’Kay, man.” Carson nods, not needing anything more from me.
I take my cue and make a beeline for the exit.
I can’t look back and try to spot Dani one last time. I’m suddenly wrecked all over again, and I just need to walk this shit off.
The others are no doubt talking about me, explaining to their girls how we were down in Denver for the weekend…
It was an end-of-season game, and we won. Just. It’d been a tough fight, but we’d hung on to that last play, and damn if Grady didn’t find the perfect gap and punch right through it. He got a touchdown with eight seconds left in the fourth quarter, and we came away victorious. The coaches were pumped, the team was beyond ecstatic, and I lost track of time as we celebrated the win.
I’d arranged with the coaches to leave right after the game so I could drive to Colorado Springs and watch my best friend’s band play. They’d even let me drive down from Nolan so I could have my own car. I was kind of bummed out that I couldn’t go on the bus, but a few of the offensive linemen jumped in with me, and we drove down together. It was nice of the coaches and team to accommodate me this way.
Atlas knew I was gonna be late, but I’d promised him I’d be there for the final set and the after-party.
But I got busy jumping around a locker room and singing stupid songs. I got busy laughing and whooping with my football team. I was having way too much fun to notice the time, and when Grady finally asked me if I was supposed to be somewhere else, I felt a rush of disappointment. I didn’t want to leave my team to go to the concert, but I’d promised Atlas.
I hadn’t seen him in over a month. Football season was busy, and it’d been getting really hard to fit in visits with him and Dani… and my family. Last time, Atlas had come up to hang with me, but it’d been kind of awkward. Our lives, which used to be so cohesive and in sync, were starting to splinter. He was getting heavy into the punk rock world, and football was becoming king for me.
But he was still my best friend.
And so I left the football celebrations. Admittedly, I was dragging my feet, and by the time I got into my car, I was running over an hour late.
I’d missed his final set, and he’d no doubt be pissed about it. I spent the drive south formulating a decent apology, hoping he’d get how epic this win was and how much it meant to me.
The after-party was happening above the bar they performed in, and I got through without too many problems. Had to have one small argument with a bouncer who couldn’t find my name on the list to start with. At first, I thought Atlas had scrubbedit because he was pissed off that I hadn’t made it. But then the bouncer checked again, and I was finally let through.
I was nearly two hours later than I said I’d be, and I did feel bad about that… and it was made a million times worse the second I wove my way into the crowd and heard the screaming.
A jolt ran through my body, my blood turning to ice when I heard a woman wail, “Wake up! Atlas! Wake! Up!”
“Dani,” I whispered, shoving my way through the crowd as fear wrapped its bony fingers around my neck and started to squeeze.
I punched through the crowd gathering in the hallway, wrestling past bodies until I reached the bathroom.
The door was ajar, and I shoved it open the second I spotted Dani on her knees, Atlas’s floppy head resting in her lap.
She was tapping his face, sobbing and shaking him, but he was unresponsive.
He was dead.
I knew it the second I looked at those lifeless eyes, gazing up at the ceiling… and seeing nothing.
His skin was so pale, his lips blue, and I knew. In my gut, Iknewhe was gone, but I still shoved my way into the cramped space.
“Call 9-1-1!” I shouted, hoping someone would as I checked Atlas’s vitals and pulled him onto the floor.
I didn’t know much about first aid, but we’d learned CPR in high school PE class, and I attempted to revive my friend while Dani stayed on the floor beside me, sobbing and whimpering into her hands.
“He’s dead,” she kept saying, rocking back and forth and crying.
It fucking killed me.
