He was like that with everybody, which is probably why he always had a gaggle of girls chasing after him. He was always so oblivious to it, though.
Tyrell Jackson.
Nostalgia sweeps through me as I try to answer his question without my voice shaking. “I just moved here in January. New year. Fresh start. You know how it is.” My throat closes up, because he does know. If anyone in this town gets it, it’s him.
Shit, there’s so much history between us.
So much knowledge. Memory.
My chest starts to hurt as he leans against the bar, watching me with those deep brown eyes of his. “So… you doing okay?”
I have to give him an honest smile—none of that bright, plastic cheese will work on him. I shrug and throw it back on him. “How about you?”
“Yeah.” He nods, then licks his bottom lip and swallows. “Nolan’s good. ’Bout to finish my senior year.”
I should be too.
So should Atlas.
Shit, life did not turn out at all how we’d planned.
“Congratulations,” I croak, my eyes dipping to the counter as memories try to take me out. It suddenly hurts to look at him.
“You ever gone back?” I murmur, unable to recall seeing him around.
I can’t picture his face since the funeral, so he must have come back up to Nolan and just stayed away. I’d forgotten that he moved up here for college. I didn’t realize he’d stayed. Maybe I assumed his life would have screeched to a halt the way mine did… and he’d crawled into a dark cave to lick his wounds and try to recover.
“My family’s in Texas now, so…”
“Okay.” I nod, my chin still dipped as I pick at the counter between us. “Yeah, I stayed for a while, but you know, hewas just everywhere. It didn’t matter how much time passed, I couldn’t dodge the memories.” My eyes start to burn as I look up and take in his sad expression.
Shit. Does he miss Atlas as much as I do?
They were best friends. Closer than brothers.
They grew up together. Tyrell was always there—the quiet one, happy to stay in the background while Atlas took center stage. Happy to follow his buddy around, keep him safe.
Until he moved to Nolan and only came back for special occasions. Atlas missed him so bad but didn’t want to say anything. He got worse after Tyrell left… and I couldn’t control him. He started hanging out with his bandall the time, and from the outside, that probably seemed like a good thing, but he wasn’t the same without Tyrell’s calm presence. There was no one there to check his wild side.
That was why I’d been so relieved that Tyrell was coming down for the show. He was gonna be there backstage with me and then come to the after-party. Maybe if he had, things wouldn’t have turned to shit.
He was there. He was just late.
Too late.
My aching chest starts to throb with a dull, familiar beat that makes my legs want to buckle.
Crossing my arms, I suck in a breath and try to dodge images of Atlas’s pale face, those eyes that kept staring at nothing.
He wouldn’t blink.
I couldn’t make him blink.
“It’s been…”
“Two years, three months, and ten days,” he finishes for me, and I can tell that night is still burned into his memory as clearly as it’s burned into mine.
I try to smile, but who knows what the hell my face is doing. With a slow nod, I force myself to admit, “It’s been really hard to move on, you know?”
