“But…” I lick my lips and have to look down at the carpet for this part. “I want to travel the world. I need to get out of here and explore and experience other cultures and see other places. It’s this burning inside me that I can’t extinguish.” I tap my chest. “I’ve tried! I’ve tried to forget about it and want other things, but I always come back to this… this dream. Thisneedto spread my wings and go.”
My expression crumples as I dare to look up and see just how much I’m hurting them.
Dad’s smile is sad, but he’s smiling. And Mama’s got a tear trickling down her cheek now. She swipes it away before moving forward to the very edge of her seat.
“You always did have an adventurous spirit.”
Dad softly chuckles. “When you were a boy, you were obsessed with wanting to know what was out there. You used totalk about how you wanted to be Indiana Jones so you could go to ancient places and see the ruins.”
“You’ve always gravitated toward anything outside of this place.” Mama looks at Dad. “Maybe I didn’t want to admit it, but I think I knew this day would come eventually.” She sighs. “I can sense it in you. Flitting off for one summer ain’t gonna cut it. Am I right?”
I wince and nod. “Yeah, Mama. I want toliveoverseas. I want to immerse myself.”
“How will you make money?” Dad asks.
“Well, I’ll need to save a bunch more before I leave, and then I’m hoping to get work. There’s lots of jobs that I can do—waiting tables, working in ski lodges. There’s probably some construction work I could pick up. They’ll often hire people from overseas for short-term positions. I was thinking I’d travel until I needed to earn some money, then find a job for a few months, save up, and then move on to the next place.”
Mama winces. “What about your degree? All that study? Was it for nothing?”
“No.” I shake my head. “And I’ve still got this job lined up for the year ahead. I’ll do that, learn what I can. I’ll work hard. But I have to know that travel is on the horizon. And eventually, when I get it out of my system, I’ll settle down, and that’s when I can get that nine-to-five, you know? I’ll become a project manager for some construction company and…” I huff, wishing that sounded more appealing.
Is Mama right? Was all that study for nothing?
“So you’re just gonna roam the planet, working under the table?” Dad raises his eyebrows at me.
I rush to justify myself. “I won’t do anything illegal. I’ll make sure I’m working for honest people. They can pay me with food and board if they want to.”
Dad flicks his hand through the air. “People do work off the books all the time. I’m not judging. I just want you to think this through.”
Rubbing at my tired eyes, I shrug, not sure what to say. “I know this all sounds risky and unstable, but I’ll make sure that I keep enough money aside to get home again. If things go bad, I’ll always have that option.”
Dad’s lips twitch, and he turns to catch Mama’s eye. “He’s a good boy, Nina. He knows what he’s doing.”
“I know that. Iknowthat, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss him like crazy.” She tuts and gets up from her chair, rushing across to me and wrapping her arms so tight around my neck, my eyes start to water.
“Mama, it’s okay. I’m not leaving right now.”
She lets out a laughing sob and lets me go, ignoring my stink and perching her butt on the ottoman. I shuffle along to make room for her, disturbing Peaches. She stretches before wandering down the hallway, her tail swishing.
Mama reaches for my hand, curling her fingers around mine and giving them a squeeze.
I glance at her before looking at Dad. “Are you sure you guys are okay with this? I thought you’d be really upset. That’s why I haven’t said anything.”
“Why would we be upset?” Dad frowns.
“Because you… you need me. I mean… I know it’s hard work looking after everybody, and I always feel like I have to stay close by in case?—”
“We love having you around,” Mama cuts me off. “But not to your detriment. Tyrell Jackson, we would never stand in the way of your dreams. We love you, boy.” She almost looks wounded that I didn’t already know this, so I wrap my arm around her, kissing the side of her head in quiet thanks.
Wow.
I mean… this is really gonna happen for me. I’m going to see the world!
Why doesn’t this feel more exciting?
I sense Dad’s eyes on me and force a smile. “Thanks for your support. Both of you. It means a lot.”
“Of course.” Dad’s eyes narrow, and I dart my gaze back to the safety of the floor. “You thought she was going to go with you, didn’t you? You had high hopes.”
