“I-I thought I—” I stare emptily into the dark night. “What happened?” I look at him with desperate eyes.
He glances down at me, looking more tired than I’ve seen him. “I gave you the final injection.”
My brows pinch together and I lift my hand to my neck. A small pinprick is there.Is that what I felt right before I saw Bree?I swallow the knot in my throat. At least I’m not completely losing my mind. I’m relieved it was the drug’s effect and not something more concerning. I let out a long sigh.
“Will it work? Am I okay now?”
Cameron whispers gently, “You’re safe and we’ll have to wait and see, but I have you. Everything is going to be okay.”
He carries me past the guards who are huddled at the office, watching with judging, worried eyes as Cameron takes me upstairs instead of back into the basement.
I’m too tired to ask why, so I don’t. I have much bigger problems dancing like demons in my head right now.
He sets me down and stands again, staring down at me with apprehension. “I’ll be right back, okay? I need to have this stitched up. I’ll come back to be with you as soon as I can, okay?” He brushes my hair back before wearily turning and leaving. I see the long cut down his shoulder blade and it makes my chest lurch as the door closes behind him.
I flinch at the chilling sound and recede into myself as I inspect the large, dark-domed room.
“Well, you certainly almost caused your own undoing.”
The hairs on the back of my neck rise at the sound of Reed’s voice. I find him standing at one of the floor-to-ceiling windows, hands clasped properly behind his back.
I don’t even care that he’s here right now. All I can manage is a half-choked sob and walk straight into his tight embrace.
He chuckles at my emotions—he’s always had trouble findingempathy for anything, even when it comes to me. “Be grateful that Mori was able to talk the guards into letting him retrieve you without waking up Belerik. I’m honestly not sure what the lieutenant would’ve done to you, this close to him thinking that he’s getting his empire.”
“What did I do?” I ask into his chest. “Is my squad alive?” I say the latter with a pained tone. The things I saw were so vivid, I don’t know if the vacant field I saw after leaving was real or not. Goose bumps ripple down my arms at the memory.
Reed smooths my hair back before pulling away and patting the top of my head. “You quite literally lost your shit is what happened. And yes, they’re all asleep downstairs.” I shove him back for his mocking tone. He grins wickedly and I smack his chest for it. “There, see? You’re right as rain now,” he says a little too cheerfully.
I drag my sleeve across my face and take a centering breath. “I just had the craziest experience of my life, and it was all in my fucking head, Reed. I wouldn’t call thatright as rain.” My teeth dig into my lower lip. “And I think I slashed Cameron’s back.” The rasp in my throat means my screams were all too real.
“Oh youdefinitelycut him. It was romantic, honestly. Him trying to get you out of your hysteria. I watched the whole thing from up here?—”
“Reed!” I snap at him and rage-filled tears brim.
He lifts his hands innocently. “All right, all right.I’m just trying to lighten the mood. I don’t know what you want me to say. You lost your shit after he gave you the last shot that Nolan had sent with Erik. He called me earlier and I verified that it should be enough to save you. I guess only time will tell, though.” He lifts a shoulder like it’s as easy as that. “I wanted to be here just in case things got really hairy, but he was able to reach you rather quickly, so I got to watch and take notes instead.”
My gaze falls to my hands. They’re red and covered in dirt. Isthis how Cam felt when he woke up in the last trial? Except he was met with my still body and the knowledge that he may have killed me. It’s the worst experience anyone could go through.
It’s worse than death.The guilt he must’ve felt is unimaginable.
“I can’t believe I attacked him,” I mutter numbly as I press my back to the brick wall and let myself slide to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. I feel so empty and completely drained.
Reed stares at me for a long time before he shakes his head, at a fleeting thought, perhaps. He removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders before lowering to the floor to sit beside me. “Jesus, you make it sound like you actually hurt him.”
I press my nose to the jacket and inhale his scent. It smells like my childhood. It smells like old pages of our late nights studying and having discussions of the wretched world that Reed and me would someday inherit.
“I did, Reed. Even if he can’t feel it, he’s human. Unlike you,” I mumble. Reed nudges his foot against mine, drawing my eyes to his muddy combat boots. They look exactly like the ones that the Dark Forces issue to their soldiers.
“Shut up.” His gaze stays focused on the dark of the domed room.
We lean against each other and listen to the rain start to trickle against the metal roof. I want to ask him what he’s really planning, but I know it will be futile, so I shut my eyes and rest.
After the minutes flutter by, he sets his hand over mine. It’s cold. His hands are always cold.
I look at him. His dark eyes are hooded, weariness pulls at his features. “You’re going to be okay.” His voice is just above a whisper.
I chuckle. “You make it sound like you have it all figured out.”
