Gage.We have to save him at least. I think he’ll listen eventually, even if we have to tie him up and hide him somewhere when shit hits the fan. But Thomas, I can’t see him going along with it. He’s pretty ingrained with the Dark Forces and trusts them. It’s evident in his demeanor.
“What else can we do?” Wraith says with impatience.
“We’re going to lie low. The best chance of survival is to act normal, get as recovered as we can for the mission, and make them believe that you have no idea what’s going on. If Nolan, Bridger…or the lieutenant are alone with you at any point on the mission, I suggest killing them before they do you. I doubt Riøt will come out before the mission is completed, but if you see any soldiers in black tactical gear that you don’t recognize, kill them.”
26
CAMERON
Sweat beadsdown my neck as I try to pretend like I’m not having the worst fucking reaction to being back on the death pills, thanks to Reed. Of course, it’s peaking now that I’m around everyone. The veins in my neck itch and everything inside my forearm muscles feels wrong, like I need to tear into them and rearrange the parts. It feels just like the first time I took them, like I can’t control myself.
Fuck. I can’t lose myself right now.
“I’ll be right back,” I call over my shoulder to the squad. They’re all limbering up for the workout and training today. Emery and Gage are the only two who acknowledge me, and I’m glad for the overall lack of interest, because I’m not holding myself together very well right now.
I enter the main-level bathroom and splash water into my face, bracing my hand on the side of the sink as I draw the other one down my jawline. My reflection is of a shell of a man, like it always is, but there’s something in the light of my eyes now that wasn’t there before.
Hope.
Emery.I think of her name, and hold on to the flutter that shifts inside my chest at the fact that she’s back with me. That I didn’t break her forever like I thought I had.
I let my head lower and take a deep breath.
“Get your shit together,” I whisper to myself.
That aching need to kill in the back of my head is uncontainable. I thought I’d dealt with the last of it after the itch vanished in the wake of what I did to Emery…but it has returned as a result of the lull between doses.
I pound my fist on the sink and shake my head as a strong urge takes hold of me. It feels like claws burying deep into my brain, scratching and festering. It’s enough to make an insane person become lucid.
But it’s not going to be enough to break me.
Biting the inside of my lip helps sometimes, so I sink my canines into my own flesh until I taste iron. I feel nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
What’s one person? I guess I could get away with offing one of the local guards. They’re out in the middle of nowhere. If someone asks, I’ll float the idea that they went AWOL.
One person.
One is fine.
“Cam?” Her sweet voice hits me and tears me straight from my thoughts.
My body stiffens and all of a sudden I’m no longer in the bathroom; I’m behind the airplane hangar and trailing a guard who’s at least three hundred feet away, heading down the path to do a sweep of the perimeter, unaware of my presence.
No. What the fuck?
My breaths are labored as I slowly turn and see Emery behind me, staring at me like she’s seen a ghost she thought she’d already dealt with.
Her face pales and she takes a hesitant step back. I force my hands into fists, but her retreating only triggers my desire to chase after her.
Emery takes one short breath before firming her resolve and lifting her chin at me. My brow lifts and a cruel smile grows across my lips.
I don’t want this.My teeth dig farther into my inner lip, until blood trickles down my jaw. “Get out of here.” I force the words out.
“I’m not going to run from you, Cam. Not anymore.” She takes a step forward and challenges me with her fearless gaze.
I groan as I fight the itch moving up my spine, making my hands slowly lift until they’re seated in the crook of her neck, ready to strangle the breath out of her in an instant.
