Cameron. Such a lovely name, one that both melts my heart and brings misery all the same.
Bile rises in my throat as the truth sinks deep into my bones. My horror and desperation is evident in the video. It’s difficult to watch my plaintive cries go ignored as he lifts the rock in his hand anyway, striking my head so hard that the entire forest stills.
It comes back to me. All of it. All of the heinous things I did in my time before the Dark Forces and everything after. The love that I had for Cameron, and the suffering I endured as I watched him try to kill me. Tears well in my eyes and a knot thickens in my throat.
My father lowers the phone and from the corner of my eye it looks like he’s smiling. Callous asshole. He always did love others’ suffering.
Everything feels surreal right now. I feel hollowed out—only sadness remaining inside me.
Why didn’t he tell me? Anything would’ve been better than nothing. Why did he push me away? My lower lip firms and I grip the bedsheets with frustration. Did I really mean that little to him?
“All that boy has ever tried to do to you is bring pain. He wanted tokillyou. He tried to for God’s sake.” I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and stare sadly at my hands. “It’s time I bring you back home, Emmie. You’ll be safe and sound once this is all over. Your mother is waiting. I’ll even assign you to that silly school you always wanted to attend.”
The mention of her makes my chin lift. It’s not like my mother has cared much for what happens to me. Art school? Can I really return to the world outside of this one? My thoughts return to Mori…I mean Cameron. There’s a deep, bruised longing that grows inside me for him. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m heartbroken.
“Where is he now?”
My father’s eyes narrow, annoyed that I’m going right back toCameron. “The soldier? He’s in surgery. Reed is sitting with him, while the doctors fix him. I’m not sure what use he’ll be to us if he recovers, but I plan on teaching Nolan a priceless lesson. If he takes what is mine, I will take what’s his.”
His eyes are dark and fill with malicious plans that I don’t have the mental capacity to worry about at the moment.
All the information and heartache I just received has completely worn me out.
I slacken my shoulders, feeling more alone than I ever have. I’m right back where I started before all of this. But somehow I feel more broken now. A weariness has taken root in my soul.
“What happens next?”
He grins, clearly delighted to see me so defeated. “Now we show them what the Mavestelli Family can do when pushed into a corner. They need to remember how sharp our teeth are.”
I nod weakly, staring down at my bloodstained palms. He pats my hand and rises. Is this really all that my life has come to be? Surviving the Under for what? Just to end up back here as the executioner? That can’t be my future.
I don’t want this. What I wanted was… A sinking sensation dips in my chest.
What I wanted was Cameron, and now I feel like that’s been stolen from me too.
“Get some rest. Tomorrow you’ll be briefed on our counterefforts.” He stops when he reaches the door, allowing the guard out of the room so I can sleep in peace. “Oh, and we will be celebrating the return of our executioner. Dinner is at six with you, me, and Reed,” he says cheerfully, but there is a list of people he wants me to murder behind that guise. He’s just happy to have his weapon back. Broken, like he’s always wished I would be.
I lie down after the door closes and stare at the ceiling, counting the freckles in the panels and the bullet holes from prior shoot-outs,I’m guessing. The only sound is that of a clock on the wallticking, each stroke of the metal sending me further into my despair.
The hideout we infiltrated was familiar because I’d been there before. Many times, in fact. I shut my eyes at the horrible veracity. The secret room was mine. Where I used to hide to spy on guards and listen in on things I shouldn’t have.
It seems so obvious now. But it’s truly a terrifying thing to remember nothing of your past. It really does rob most of your mind.
Did Cameron look at me differently after the last trial because he regretted not finishing me off? He tried killing me and was still forced to be partnered with me. All his cold stares and refusal to connect with me…why?
A loud frustrated groan escapes my lips as I sit up and press the heels of my palms to my eyes to stave off the tears to no avail. They trickle down my arms and wet the sheet as my legs bounce on the floor anxiously.
I’m so stupid.
He’s been lying to me this entire time.
19
EMERY
A soft breezeslips in through the cracked windows and stirs around the medical, minty smell in the recovery room. Cameron’s pale blond hair shifts over his forehead, but his eyes remain closed, breath steady with faraway dreams.
I rest my chin on my palm, elbow pressed against the bed for support as I lean closer to observe him. The last three days have been nothing short of one mental breakdown after the other. Ranging from wanting to kill him myself, to shaking him awake and kissing the forlorn smile that he’s given me for the past few weeks.
